The thought occur when I was in third grade.
How many attempts I’ve made?
Lets just say I started when I was in Fourth Grade.
Every attempt, I had to suffer a big amount of pain. Surviving every false action.

At night is when thoughts unleash itself.
Small thoughts that turn into terrifying images that keep playing in your head.
Like a movie. A movie of all your mistakes, all your insecurities, and all your fears, mocking you.
You wish you could bury all those thoughts so they wont come back into your mind.
You lay there and cry. Your eyes then become worn-out from your tears. And you have that urge to pull out that razor.

I have to go, yet I don’t feel like going. I feel like if I kill myself, I will go to hell, because of all of the crap I’ve done in my life. With the lesbianism and the lesbian sex, and even just the reguar sex, will all probably land me in hell. The worst pat about all of this is that I’m not even 16 yet and my life is already hard. I thought it would be hard when I grow up and marry, but it’s so hard now that I don’t even want to make it there. I have attempted at cutting,but i […]

As days pass, I sit in silence.
I cant remember the last time I was actually happy.
I doubt everything and everyone.
I wonder when my ending point is. All I ever wanted was to live a normal life, to be happy, simple as that. Hurting myself more and more everyday wishing today, today I will make that false move and end EVERYTHING right here at this moment.

UNDERNEATH I’m a loser. an idiot. a cutter. defeated. negative. sad. pretending. DEPRESSED. though i try to make all of this untrue. i fake my through life. i have so many personalities i cant even count all of them, but i don’t know my real one. that’s right i change so much just to make you happy, not me i don’t care i’m me i care what you think.. you don’t know me. obviously i don’t know me either. you will never be happy with me. don’t feel bad you’ve done this to me. its not just you its everyone.  actually ignore that last part […]

I have been telling myself that lately, just to get through each day until my time nears. Today has been… Just terrible. I kept wondering what else could wrong? Most of the time, it went wrong. If I didn’t already have a ‘date’ planned I probably could have gone through with it tonight. I feel so depressed and ill all the time, lately. I hate this…

All i wanna say is i am gonna make a fresh start. I know that it probabley won’t make a difference but i’m gonna try anyway.
You should too even if you know it won’t make a difference, Just try..

This is the fourth time this has happened to me in five months.

First one was a guy I dated for two months. Things were fine, no problems, until towards the end, after he got a text from his ex saying she was jealous that he was dating me and he became distant. He told me he stopped feeling things for me, after telling me how strong his feelings were. I was aheady in the hospital that summer for having constant thoughts of suicide after ending a serious relationship with a guy that left me about six times and cheated on me once. I began to […]

I really feel that the end is coming closer and closer.

I’m so close to my braking point.  I want to go threw with it.

but if i fail i will be teased, and my life will be worse.

My family and I do not get along, my friends are going away im alone,

I don’t want to live, the light at the end of the tunnel is gone.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I really don’t want to be living.

I have to buy new shoes and I was sitting, thinking about it, mentally preparing to go “home” for the night from work, and my soul sank into itself. Buy shoes? ugh, I don’t even want to be living anymore. I don`t want to bother with any of this crap.

Maybe I should go on vacation. If someone offered me a place to stay for a month, free of any worries… I dunno.. I feel like, eventually, I`d just end up depressed again. I don`t want my life or any life. […]

i am offically the whore of our school! why? because when a guy grabs my ass or pretends to grab my boobs i don’t slap or push him away like the other girls do…but not because i like it…i HATE it but i’m scared of the guys…even though they are kinda of my friends none of them would wait a second to slap me.. i know so because they allready have once when i pushed a “friend” of mine away because he had grabbed my boob he came back to me pushed me againts the wall and slaped me and told me to never do […]

One day, not too long ago, I decided I didn’t want to exist anymore.

So, I decided to take care of my own problem.  I found that I was too chicken to make it happen myself, though. 

I thought about having someone else take care of it for me.   But, no one wanted to go spend half their lives in jail, in order to help me out.

Maybe, I thought, if I was careless enough, Karma would take care of it for me.  But, Karma, being the ***** that she is, didn’t do squat for me.

Finally, I thought if I prayed hard enough to God, that He might […]

Honesty is a virtue. Especially with the degree of deceit in our world. Even the kind that is told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.  Or the kind told not to betray a secret. The kind told to let someone keep hope or faith. The kinds told that keep our current system running. And the kinds that are told to deliberately injure, harm, and hurt.

Sometimes we tell them to ourselves.  And then comes the time where it is easier to fabricate a tale rather than tell your loved ones the truth. Of course when they find out the truth it will hurt them, but better tha […]

does my life matter… no one ever seems to care.. all i hear is yelling.. is there anyone out there.. to feel my pain.. to understand that for me there is no gain… maybe i should end it all…

they would be happier

Hey everyone, i havent been on in awhile, my laptop died 🙁 hows everbody? Anyone up to talking to a depressed sleep deprived loser?

Crashing
Books flying through the air
Sharp swords of words slashing across the room
Arrows of steel pulsing into each other’s hearts
Yelling screaming
Pushing grabbing
Shoving to the ground
A fight worthy of an arena
Children scurry to their rooms
Father and son
Yelling confused screams 
Abandoning their dinner
Rushing to their room 
As to not getting caught in vicious crossfire
Turn the music loud
Block out the sound of doors slamming 
As they take the fight outside
Neighbors watch in horror
As father and son duke it out
Taking out their anger on one another
Until one lies crying on the floor
As […]

I have never been pyciscal abuse by anybody but I have been verabley abuse by many people everyone things I am happy and fine but I am NOT . I am not happy. I am not fine. I don’t want to tell anyone the way I feel because I am afraid they will judge me … I am stupid . I am worthless . And I want to die, not really I think it would be better if I moved/ ran away from my current liveI HATE MYSELF MORE THAN SOMEONE COULD EVER HAD ME

I wish I could be normal. And I hate the way I ruin everything. It’s always my fault. Now, suicide looks like paradise. I may only be 14, but I’ve taken more than I should’ve.

The earliest memory I have of my childhood is my father drunk, and beating the shit out of my mother. I was maybe 5 years old and tried to move in the middle of it and my dad smacked me himself, meanwhile my mother was at the phone calling the police. The police show up in their filthy pig uniforms and cuff my pig father who knows, maybe they all went down to the trough for a bite to eat after. As they were cuffing my father, I ran upstairs to my room. My only solace was the feeling of my favorite batman action figure […]

I had this best friend a couple of months ago. I thought we were close, and I began to trust her, which I don’t do at all! Well, she found out I was cutting and that I had attempted suicide once. She told on me because SHE couldn’t handle the stress. Ha if she couldn’t handle it what does she think I was going through?! Well either way because of her everyone found out. I have been rebeling quite a bit lately and have been getting grounded. Well this so called best friend criticised me for sneaking out of the house because it was childish […]