How do you pray for forgiveness? How do you pray for something you know God won’t grant?

i just start this by saying that iam none ohther than a desparate girl who wants love and affection.don’t know why god have designed my life in such a different way.In my chilhood i used to be a dancer,singer,script writer and even more a cheerful happy go lucky girl.all of a sudden everything changed dramatically.Being only daughter everyone called me lucky.in my 11th class i started my journey towards pain and day-to-day crying.Who knows that a single girl gets cheated from her own friends just because she looked pretty than her friends.i always wanted to smile even at bad situations too,,but see my fate […]

I really feel like I don’t belong here. For awhile, I thought I was holding on for a purpose, but now I just feel like it is my time to go. I can’t hurt everyone who loves me. I promised myself I wouldn’t do that to them, they don’t deserve it. I was getting counseling, but I hated every second of it… I thought it would be hard to convince my therapist I was okay again, but it wasn’t… at all. The lies came so quickly, I know the perfect things to say. She believed me, every expression she gave was of utter joy. She […]

I am slipping, slipping fast and hard. For a day I couldn’t feel the pain anymore, instead I felt numb, nothing, dead inside, which is actually worse. So both kids are out today, I am on my own, broke open a cheap bottle of wine and got drunk just enough so I can feel again. Trying to loose my inhibitions so I might just on an impulse do what I need to do, but I still know that my moral compass is stubbornly strong so I won’t. Crying. I want to die more than anything else. Still, it can’t happen. Really loosing the plot today. […]

I live in a world where i am always unhappy. my grades are slipping and my parents yell all the time now or ignore me. My brother is their favorite they would give him the world if they could. But to them im just that other kid who was raised by baby sitters until the age of 10. I get bullied at school. I try to hide my depresion so i fit in. Iguess i’m pretty good at hiding it too. For a while nobody knew the dark cloud that surrounded my mind. i first thought about suicide when i was about 8 years old. […]

I hate this. I hate it all. Everything about life. And I just want to die.

I’m tired of being used. I’m tired of putting all my effort and heart into something and never having it work out my way. Not once. This life is crap. There’s no reason to live if all I’m going to experience is misery.

But I promised my best friend I would stay. Until at least the end of the year. And I don’t want to break that promise. She was so happy when I told her. So overjoyed. She hadn’t been honest with me about how upset she was over my […]

I just started dating my REALLY good friend-known each other for almost nine months now- and he lives in Egypt. He’s really sweet, kind, and I absolutely love his smile, but the problem-for us- is we have to date online. My family doesn’t really like it when I do that-date over the internet. Especially my sister.

The things that she doesn’t like? Well, to start off, his age. He’s really turning 20 in May. Saying that, I know everyone is going to care about that the most, just like Tiff-since ALL boys at 19 think of only one thing- but please just let me keep going.

Things […]

So I haven’t writen in a while.. mom n dad got a devorcie and my boy friend left me for my best friend. I feel so unwanted and just wana die. Bleh

I’m ready to go. i just need to take that leap and do it.

Wristcutters: A Love Story – I found this movie late one night while perusing netflix and after reading the description I was very intrigued as, of course, I am on the same path (I’m too squeamish to cut though) but I also love quirky movies that take you on an adventure and are filled with both deep meaning and light hearted fun… needless to say I was really taken back with how much I enjoyed it and think that many here might get the same joy and satisfaction while riding along with the characters- it certainly let me escape for a bit while still thinking […]

Hi. Vlad here. Sometimes I go by Rory. I’m part of a multiple system. Depression. Anxiety. Aspie. No gender identity, tend to present as femme for ease of moving in society. I’m giving you these labels so you have an easy image of me, not to make me seem special. I’m counting down roughly 30 days (maybe a little more) until I graduate, celebrate with my family, and die. So, yeah. That’s me. Nice to meet you all.

well i made a new blog. I’m just starting out er whatever, but I would love for you guys to maybe check  it out or like something?

http://sculpturesurglace.tumblr.com/

it would be highly appreciated :s

I have been depressd/anxious for 30 years but I have managed to find some happiness during that time too. I will never be “normal”. I know that sucidal thoughts have many causes, mentall illness, faulty thinking, life experiences or endogenous/ exogenous depression.

But many times people commit sucide because sometimes the pain of life is way too much to handle. Why suffer everyday…why die a slow death everyday? We all die so why not decide for yourself when the right time is? My only cavaet is to really think about the ramifications especially if you are young. Things can change in an instant.

*Please try everything posible to live and strive […]

I want to believe.

I really do. I promise

But I cant believe someone would put people in so much pain

And for the people who says hes just testing me.

A person can only be tested so long before they break.

I need something to depend on, and Im still looking for it.

Something tells me Ill never find it.

Im going to keep this short, and I`ll be back.

Mom, Dad,and well everyone else, You`ll never read this but Im sorry. Sorry for everything. Im sorry your daughter goes to sleep wanting to kill herself. Im sorry you dont understand. Im not trying to act like a whore, but if being wanted is what keeps me alive let me keep it. I cant do this anymore. Im going to wait till im on the anti depressents, Im going to pretend everythings okay. But if one more thing happens..Im gone. Out of this world.

“If you want to help me, help me die”…Im not happy anymore..And i […]

i am 16 yrs old. my mom is 32 and my dad i dont know becaus e he walked out n my mom when she was pregnant. i live with my mom and step dad who are married and have been for 12 yrs. they have 5 kids together. my step dad raised me but i was never close to him. my father figure past away 2 yrs ago. i didnt know how to handle his death so i started cutting again. i started cutting when i was 8 and stopped when i was 14. my mom doesnt know that i cut  and no one in my […]

this whole time, i’ve been putting off killing myself just so no one i love suffer’d but they all let me down

so why should i care?

My life is done. why keep going? what more is there? Why are we here, why am I here? no one really needs anyone….everyone in the end are forgotten. I wouldnt mind being forgotten since i already am.

im still feeling ugly having an std. it makes me more depressed knowing i have it for the rest of my pathetic life.. im 21 and i cant think of the fact that i wont have a love life. and i hate bein gay and full of resentment . but i only like being a bottomm,… and thats where i have the virus. it suckss. i wanna fucking die if love wont be part of my life.

You think you’re the loneliest person out there?

Think again,

High school has been the loneliest, hardest time.

I’m not going to go into detail but I’ve always been fairly lonely due to my social issues (self diagnosed, selective mutism)or whatever you want to call it. (I heard my mom talk to someone saying how I was assessed for the possibility of selective mutism, but it came out as negative apparently…

It had to have  definitely been overlooked, as I usually didn’t talk unless spoken to, mostly in school and in unfamiliar territory.

People had to come up to me first, initiating friendship. I really don’t know what is the […]