I’m so done with life. No one really cares, they just tell me to stop being stupid. My friends found out I was cutting and pretty much shrugged it off. Every year that goes by and I just see a bleak future where I know I’ll never get anything I desire because at ever turn so far I’ve been denied it. I work in a chemistry lab and can easily get cyanide solution of 1mg/ml. I figure 3 ml of this will kill me cold. Think this would work?
I just moved in to a place where I can’t cut or physically harm myself in anyway. As dysfunctional as it seems, I moved in with my ex gf, her boyfriend, and their 4 kids. So on the plus side while i will still think about it, at least now I am in a place where I can’t talk about it, injure myself, or attempt suicide for now at least. Guess there is a silver lining in every cloud.
I really can’t go on like this anymore.
if I could Live for a million days
I’d count up all the ways I could have loved a girl
who’d passed away at day twenty-eight thousand and ten.
with ninety-one generations of grandchildren
I’d remember ninety-one times
of simpler times when
fifteen minutes would pass with the eternity of an hour
when memories were new
and I had nothing
to reflect about.
I just turned 20, I’m a freshman in college studying what I love, I’ve met the girl that I’m pretty sure I’m going to marry, and I want to kill myself. With another year of age comes another year of new responsibilities, and I feel like real life has finally shown itself to me. The last few weeks have been nothing but emotional torture for my girlfriend and I, with issues beyond our control. I’ve let my studies slack (just my general ed’s, I’m fine with my Major studies) and now I’m looking at an F in a mandatory freshman class. Normally this wouldn’t be […]
Love Never Dies…
  ~
(((Â * INNER VISION LABRATORY ~ MEMORIAL *Â )))
~
Dream within a Dream
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow–
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we […]
This is what Jesus says:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.â€
Matthew 11:28-30
I really believe this.
If you want to, email me and I will pray for you.
kacharay@yahoo.co.uk
The physical pain and the disease remain. Those cannot be cured. But the mental pain, the betrayals, the tragedies, the taking of my innocence as a child which warped me for most of my life. No counseling could make me expose that…. that horror….in my time boys were raised to be the strong silent type….. and even if the occurrence was not your fault you could not tell.
Because you did not want anyone to think you were not a man. So you overcompensate by trying to excel at everything. Grades, martial arts, sports, charisma, poetry, art, women, loyalty, generosity, being the alpha male amongst your […]
When my best life time perioud leaves me I know that it’s not the same…
Death isn’t just mouving from one room to another or ending an reletionship… but for me that is good enough to be true….
It wasn’t never what it is now or what it will be tomorow morning… It will e never the same, I’ll be never the same vivid calange searchingm young phisitian and programist, I’ll never revolution for thousents of people including me again or share my dreames and love, in life with no pain until …
Funny that Garsie Marckes wrote about it in one of his books so no, I […]
I recently moved to a new city. I left behind my friends, my family, my job of seven years….But I did so to go back to school, start a new career, and be closer to my girlfriend was an added bonus. When I got here everything was great. We talked like we always do shared and supported each other. Now….she barely wants to talk to me even though I have done nothing to merit this. I cook I clean I do laundry vacuum do dishes, so if you’re reading this and thinking oh he’s a guy he probably doesn’t do much to help, ya right […]
I had my first suicidal thoughts last December… Triggering factor? Have no idea. At first it was just ideas like «i think it would be much better if i was going far far away». After, reflections on life, death, suffering… images of death… images of my death in dreams… and… after… images of my death when im awake, when i watch a movie, when i laugh to a good joke with friends… i see myself everywhere dying… for over a month now…. I see myself hanging by a rope in the corner of my office… or injecting myself a high dose of morphin, which i […]
So my wife left me about one month ago. She was constantly lying to me. We would agree on something and she would do the total opposite. I would ask her question and know she was lying.
She is 10 years younger than me….and I had more wealth when we got married. She now makes more money than me. She also sign pre-nup before we got married. I brought a house with the money i sold from my apartment and the house is under my name.
Well fast forward a year later…she tells me that she want the house under her name and she won’t help with […]
You said you didn’t want to go through this world without me, and I don’t want to do it without you.
I’m all alone now, I want to kill myself and be with you.
Te amo James
Can’t believe I’m posting here. Thought I was over all of this. I’m 42 now. Lifetime of depression, anxiety, anorexia, and bulimia. I had gotten to a point where I had left a bad marriage, bought my own car, own house, raising my child, and held a full time very difficult job. I decided to change shrinks 1 week ago who suggested I do “talk therapy.” I went to 1 apt and have essentially fallen apart since that apt. This was totally unexpected. Apparently, I’ve been trying to hold everything together all these years…just keep going, just keep going, and follow the routine is what […]
Apparently several studies have independently reached the conclusion that trans-fats are linked to depression. (http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/diet…127-1a6vy.html)
Quote:
Spanish researchers who followed 12,059 people over six years, analysing their diets, lifestyles and medical problems found those who ate the most trans fats, which are commonly found in pastries and fast food, had a 48 per cent higher risk of depression than those who did not eat trans fats.
I find this intriguing because I googled such a link after knowing that
1) trans-fats have been known to substitute for DHA in the body (thereby lowering DHA levels) and in the brain, when mice were fed experimental diets from […]
I’ve had enough of this pathetic thing people call life. Every time I’m happy, something goes wrong. Also, I’ve gotten past the fact of leaving people behind. I no longer care about that, I just want to leave…and never come back. I want to die to prove to people how bad their words really hurt. Everybody thinks that I’m so happy and carefree, when really I get home, cut every night, and cry myself to sleep. I deal with shit at school from just about everybody, shit with my abusive dad when I get home, and shit when I go to work from my de-humanizing […]
I’m in a very desperate position. I want to kill myself someone please help me, I have no one to talk to. I wear this mask to hide my pain but as a result no one knows me and I feel so alone all the time, I have no one. My parents are well were abusive drunks but now since I’m old enough to protect myself they think they can but my love with shiny objects. I hate them, I hate most people, and I’m filled with pain and confusion. I cut my self daily I’m an alcoholic and I’m only 17 years old. I […]
I do not pretend I am not in pain when I walk through the halls of the university. Then again people do believe I am full of life, energy and charisma but what they do not know is the reason I come every day with long sleeves to the university. I am done with the concept of living for I know death is already part of my consciousness. I will not go to my Judo classes with long sleeves anymore and suffocate. I will not enter a classroom and pretend the murmur of the people talking to one another does not cause me paranoia.
Should I […]
please if anyone is out there help me, if anyone has a decent enough heart please help me. I can’t keep living like this, I can’t keep living with this abuse. Please I need help I need help. I’m going to kill myself and I don’t want to I can’t leave my baby turtle all by himself. I’m so scared and no one will believe me no one listens. My own dad has turned my whole family against me. He keeps lying and lying and lying. No one fucking loves me anymore. My friends won’t help me I’m going to get kicked out of my […]
Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind,
I pray for ignorance and bliss,
Where no thought can smudge my sight,
And memories can’t make you cry,
If only forgetfulness turned to pleasure,
And remeberance my only blunder,
The world might seem a brighter place,
So be kind and let me live my,
Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind