I don’t hate myself. I just hate my life and I don’t want to live it anymore

With that said it’s hard to kill a person who hasn’t done anything terrible or hurt anyone. How do I get past this? I know it will be good once that is out of the way

So F’d up that it isn’t worth talking about. Absolutely pointless to live.

Here’s my story being going out with a girl over a year now and ever since I meet her i had a thing for her and she had a thing for me too and i askd her out one day and she said yes..but then i told her can you promise me 1 thing please and she said what?…I told her please please dont break my heart because your the first girl who has actuall told me they liked me if you break up with me well kill myself 🙁 and she stood quiet but she told me i promise.But I did try killing myself […]

Here’s a question. What do you do if you can’t kill yourself but you can’t live either? Wait, I suppose.
I think about killing myself every day. Have done for the last two years.
I think of ways to make it look like an accident, so those who care, and there are a few, wouldn’t feel so bad. But then, dead in an accident or dead because you shot yourself, I don’t know that there’d be much difference.
I can’t go on living. I’ve got MS, and I’m basically crippled, but that’s probably not the worst thing.
My family are about to swoop in to […]

well its been a few days since i last wrote and before anything i just want to say think you to all the people that commented on my last post it was some really good advice that i needed to hear. Well i have cut myself again and i cant stop i dont want to do anything…. feel like to a certain point i might be giving up. I might be letting my suicidal thoughts win me over or just my depression stomp all over me. I have a boyfriend who is amazing with me and am dying to tell him whats going on with […]

Online blogging, midnight sobbing. Fears, tears steer it away from me. Catching the last glimpse of sunlight should be an excitement to see the stars. I feel comfort in the fact that I can sleep, unconciously surviving in a world unknown. My brain sends signals. Some don’t make sense. Actually none. Losing cognitive balance. I can’t even write a goddamn poem. Because all I can think of is taking the bottle of pills left beside me. DO I CARE IF I DIE? Isn’t there nothing after this life anyway? These pills are the pills that make me not care. They make me calm down relax […]

I hate being here. Lately, well since summer, i just been waiting to die. kill myself. Im now a senior in high school, but i just dont want to keep living anymore. im so tired of it all. The only thing that stops me is the pain of doing it. I get bullied almost everyday. People call me ugly. I have never in my 18 years of living had a boyfriend because every guy i want rejects me. I even lower my standards and i still get rejected. i never had my first kiss or anything. But this isn’t the reason why i want to […]

I posted this on another suicide forum also, just in case no one responds/cares etc.

I’ve been feeling suicidal all year. I’m a senior in high school. I only have one  more year until I’m out of here. I dont know why I always have to fuck everything up. No one notices I’m depressed because I’m excellent at hiding myself.  I withdrew from my friends and read Sylvia Plath’s journals everyday in the corner of the library.  I think about starving myself to death or overdosing on advil. I want to slit my wrists. But then I think about my little brother, and I just. He’s […]

I had an argument with my father today, so I went to a park very close to me to ‘cool’ down. It’s a very small park (if you can even call it a park) with a large pond. The pond was frozen, there were a lot of small children ice-skating and stuff. I just stood there in the middle of the pond looking apathic. Nobody noticed me, they were all too busy having fun to notice a freak standing in the middle of the pond not moving at all. I secretly fantasized about undressing, laying down on the ice and freezing to death. Or making […]

I finaly got out the house but wishing i didnt because i just feel lile crying have so many negative thoughts that i wish could just go away right now im supose to be happy this is a party and yet i want to cry i need to go back home

I want to do it.

On monday, im planning again…. Apart from this time i haven’t made the mistake of telling ‘Everyone’. So my intention is to travel to a bridge…and you can probably guess the rest….

Life has not gotten better, its gotten worse? My OCD has. Fear of things are coming back…and my hands can tell you that, they don’t appreciate soap as much as i thought they would….

My family know ‘Everything’…at least thats what they think, they’re some things i havent told anyone….and probably never will….It has just made life awkward, and the arguements don’t stop, either about me or about my dad.

My new […]

So i got drunk yesterday.. Headache drives me crazy today. 🙂

but it was fun ! i took one of my best gf and we just were sitting, talking and drinking like hell. But it’s so nice to have so close talk. Usualy i listen people and don’t talk. Don’t know why. It’s not good, but it’s my way. I just know i am very good listener 🙂

But my problem with a bf and distance isn’t better at all. From amazing it’s going to shit. But he doesn’t understand that at all! For him everything is perfect 😀 So why i do feel like a shit? […]

I just overdosed a couple days ago and havent been able to get suicide of my mind. It seemed like i was doing good i used to go to the er about three to two times a day for suicide attempts swallowing batteries and overdosing on pills i tried to hang myself once didn’t work out to well cause we live in a freaking apartment. I dont want to die and its hard to even admit when im suicidal to people cause it feels wrong saying it. I havent been admitted to a mental hospital cause mostly i lie my way out of it. Im […]

i am a young mother. i lost my mom when i was 17. i had my son when i was 19. i love him and his father so much . we all live together. but life has been sooo…. messed up and it hurts me so much. i constantly battle with myself over everything. yes i have depression. and it doesnt help me being told i need to be fucking medicated, all the time. my dad disowned me. banished me from his life and my little brothers. i dont do anything. i recently moved to a city where i have no one. i cant talk […]

i’ve been going through many things, and i know how painful life.
if you need someone to talk to about anything, please email me at hayoungleee@gmail.com
i really want to help.

That night…. we were all standing together, ya know hanging out. Everything was going good. You seemed depressed. I knew something was wrong. I sat with you and talked. not knowing minutes later you were going to be gone. You said you had to go to the bathroom, which I didn’t think much of so I said Okay. Time passed. I went up to to the top of that hill where I found you crying. You took it right to the heart, then jumped back down to where we were sitting. You were almost gone. The paramedics couldn’t get down to where we were so […]

To all the people out there with all this crap in their life, you HAVE to stay strong. You have to have HOPE. Things WILL get better.  Find one thing you love, and make a promise to it that you will try and stay strong. H.O.P.E Hold On Pain Ends

hey everyone. if you need someone to talk to or vent to, feel free to comment! im 17 so you dont have to feel embarassed. ive been low before too so i understand. stay strong(:

I can see a lot of you are having difficulties with things such as bullying, school, family, self harm, suicidal thoughts. If you’d like to talk or vent feel free to e-mail me at sidneycameron97@hotmail.com.

Xoxo.

The things I said
The things I did
You never deserved it
Can I take it back?
Rewind the Track?
I was just so upset

— Hearing my father cry in the night praying to god that my mom will survive–
My hopes of going to Juilliard are through hospital bills are too high
I can’t even look at my mom she’ll see my pain
I love you Mommy I am sorry for everything