I cannot blame her.for what she did. Any normal person would have done so.  And I did not get locked up for it so it was not too bad. But she was rather sneaky with it.  She invited me to dinner supposedly with someone she wanted to ‘fix me up with”.  Course I told her my interest in that waned years ago.  Still she insisted that at least give the woman a chance because supposedly she was into a lot of the things I was.

Went to dinner earlier this week and it went okay,  Her ‘friend’ asked  a lot of questions.  I should have seen […]

I left last night. Drove for hours. Went to a cemetery and just sat and listened. The dead are peaceful. Indifferent to my tears and this pain in my chest that twists in my gut they don’t care. They don’t notice me. Neither do the living. When I die I will have achieved one thing…
Zen. I will have walked thru life and left no trace of who I am. My corrupt and broken hard drive won’t be worth transferring. I’m tired not even these posts really matter. I’m just sitting in this parking lot with 4 bottles full of pills and a cup of […]

It is horrible being so miserable.  I even resent people laughing in the street these days.  And that’s a TERIBBLE thing to feel towards others.   I look around and I fail to see good in anything, least myself.  A common phrase i hear “it’ll all be fine, you just wait, you’ll see”.  But it isn’t fine.  It hasn’t been fine for a long time.  I’m really well educated; apparently so smart, but can’t find employment anywhere, and put SO much effort into it, despite feeling so damn lost and worthless every moment I’m awake.  I guess you just can’t mask misery.    Everyone expects that […]

I always try to help you all best I can. time for me to share my feelings I guess.

Swimming through this darkness,  this place that I once loved. my soul is bright and free now but I still can’t rise above. to my fellow Angels I cry for help, but do they hear my screams, I lie awake in bed hoping it’s all a dream. I stretch and claw to touch the light of dawn, but my sun is fading fast, I pray to God and Jesus that this darkened place won’t be my last.

I loathe myself for posting on here. It’s embaressing really, and I feel like an attention seeker. Unfortunately I have nowhere else to express what I feel, so yeah.

Basically, my life is shit. Sounds cliche, right. I’m from a poor, broken home, with a lesbian mother, 1 sibling (the other was sent away), and I suffer from Major Depression Disorder. I see 2 people a week because of it. Since I stepped outside the world of drugs, alchohol and getting into fights, i’ve slipped into this state, and so really, i’m forced to choose between ruining my life or taking it. (which in my opinion is […]

stupid fucking people… stupid fucking world stupid fucking life …once again its time to slash the knife…  fuck it.. becuse i see no point in staying alive… but yet i do .. evry fucking day.. i just cant leave.. i just cant get a break.. i wish life could just go away.. but i know it cant happen the easy way…  why do i have to have a tommorow when i cant get through today.. the all talk .. and i know what they  all say… its all just basically .. that they all hate me… they told me to leave.. they told me to […]

You get to the point eventually where you realize that you’re little more than a speck of dust. That you are alone. That people only interact with you when they want/need something. You give up trying to talk to others about anything serious. You learn that asking for help is futile. You are told that your feelings are invalid. That you haven’t any right to be depressed. That suicide is so blasted selfish.

So you isolate yourself even more. You don’t dare let on that you are in incredible pain. You go through the motions. You do what is expected. You pretend everything is fine.

And you’re […]

Hey I am 22 (just turned) male from UK. Basically I am stuck in life. I never leave  the house because I have nowhere to go, I have no friends and nobody to talk to every single day, including weekends. I am currently looking for work and have never had a job yet (been looking 2 & 1/2 years). I am done with education as its neve rgot me anywhere and I can not receive funding to do what I even want to do.

I am stuck in life, I have no future and no friends, no girlfriend, no place of my own, no transport, no money. I have nothing, […]

Where do we turn to when the world has turned against us? Where do we turn to when we have to face lies and acccusations every day instead of the help we all need? Where do we turn to when everyone only cares about what you say, not what you feel? Where do we turn to? Where do we turn to when each and every day is it’s own new level of pain and suffering? Where do we turn to when we have turned everywhere else? Where do we turn to stop our suffering? The answer is strangely simple: We turn to death. We turn […]

Last week I saw my father die, he was in the hospital bed i was next to him, he started to shake and foam came out of his mouth. Many nurses came in do to the loud beeping from the machine. I stood there and watched as they tried everything, but he was already gone. Hopefully in a better place. I’m only 14 yrs old live with my mother and little sis in a 2 bedroom apartment i sleep on the couch and cry never stopping, i want to see my father so bad I’ve slit my wrist before hoping to die and see him. I’ve […]

Hello. I am a 22 year old college student. I have the best family and friends and amazing boyfriend. I never realized how much I appreciate waking up feeling healthy everyday until now. I’ve been dealing with some unidentified health issues that are affecting me physically and emotionally. I have no health insurance, I can’t afford all the medical things I need to get done. I’m on tons of meds for this problem I am having which doctors and specialists can’t identify. It’s been going on since September..I havent been myself..I’m depressed, sad and just want to seriously sleep my life away. Some nights it […]

I want to end my life but I don’t want my family thinking that its because of them. And if I try to talk to them they always take it as a joke especially the adults. So what should I do??

I hate to sound whiny about my life. There is good and there is bad, as is part of the deal with being alive. I am not like most people, that have reasons and feelings to be suicidal. Most of the time I love life.
My problem is that I have some weird form of anxiety attacks. Nothing seems to trigger them, like most people have. I have theorized that it is some chemical that doesn’t flow as steadily through my body as it should. When there is too much I have anxiety attacks where […]

I know some people on this site don’t really appreciate religion as much as others, but since my last suicide attempt (5/22/11) I’ve found so much comfort in my church. As soon as I was released from the hospital, I immediately joined the cast of a musical that my church was doing. After that, I continued doing as much as I could. I am now the official junior church teacher, and I volunteer for just about every event I can. I was even allowed to give a sermon while our pastor was away. It was amazing.

It’s true, religion can ruin lives. Just look at all the […]

I’m not seriously considering killing myself tonight, but this thought constantly lurks in my head.  I was chronically suicidal in my youth, and really thought the feelings would go away as an adult.

At present, I’m educated, I’m professionally employed and my life would appear stable to a stranger looking in.  And yet, there is always such a huge void in me that makes me feel numb to the world.  Ironically, I work in palliative care, and although I find this job really meaningful/rich, this is one of the only areas in my life that brings me meaning/purpose, and I often find myself envying people I […]

Hi, (sorry if this triggers a moderator, just talking about my own music that I hold the copyright for)

I’ve been having a difficult time…at work/school especially, but also with the fallout of my suicide attempt (12/2/11).  Each day has been an anxious struggle.  Even though I’m finally on all of my meds, I still feel jumpy and scared and depressed.  There are some nice, happy periods that can last a couple of hours, so I hold on to those as much as I can.  I’m an amateur musician, and my last album, Calliope, came out in 2002, just as my depression lifted a bit.  I’d […]

well i made an account today, just a little less then an hour ago. i hope someone really does help me with my problem, im so tempted to do something that will impact the lives of so many people i know

i want to committ suicide and the people around me dont realize how badly i am hurting inside. I just want someone to recognize a sign anything and just say that “i care”. my family and friends are so selfish. i hate this and i hate my life.

I’m at the moment drowning in tears not knowing what to do 🙁 !!!!! I wish there really was a someone out there to help me get through this 🙁 before its too late …