they say depression
isn’t a sign of weakness
but of trying to be strong
for far too long in an unrelenting world
to destroy your spirit
and you won

I’ve stared cutting again. I stopped for a long time, long for me at least, but today something inside me broke and I started again. It’s not like I cut deep or anything I just hate how good it makes me feel. When I’m cutting I feel as though I can let everything go and just relax. The only time I even feel like me is when I’m cutting, but i don’t want it to be that way, I want to be able to feel things without hurting myself.

I’m new to this website. I came here to type what I want, and maybe talk to people who are in somewhat of the same situation as me. I’ve been depressed since at least 6th grade on and off. I never told anyone until my junior year and it just kind of exploded. I told my family and it bothers them but they don’t do anything to help. My mom only makes it worse. I think everyone has some sort of depression through their lives, but most people deal with it better or just don’t talk about it.

I don’t talk to people much because i don’t like them to think i’m doing it for […]

I am only 13 years old. I have suicidal thoughts regularly. I am going to see a doctor soon about it. I just want to die though. Nothing is leading me to kill myself. It is the nothing that is. I just keep thinking, there is really no point for me to be alive tomorrow. It isn’t like my presence will be the biggest deal to the world. I think if I wasn’t afraid to kill myself I would be long gone by now. The thing that bugs me the most is how my parents have reacted to this, they started treating me differently. I […]

The one person i liked and trusted i broke up with and i cant even remember why. I hate myself. I dont care about myself anymore i should just end it.

“Without pain, there would be no suffering, with out suffering we would never learn from out mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there’s no way of life.”

We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, students, and business owners. We have depression, DID, PTSD, eating disorders, borderline personalities, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some were not. We are straight, bi, and gay. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every single race or religion that you can possibly think of. […]

This is usually my favorite time of year. It reminds of the very VERY few good memories I had as a child.
I donate to the Salvation Army and other charities. I try to give to those around me who are less fortunate, and I keep traditions going for my son and well for myself but this year has been extremely rough. It’s.hard for me to get in the spirit when I feel sad and depressed all the time. My son really doesn’t care about the traditions that much this year, he’s growing up on me.
I just […]

People always seem to ask why im never smiling or lauging . too many people ask whats wrong .

No one sees the scars on my stomach , legs , or wrist , people dont really get that shit gets real behind closed doors . No one knew for the longest time that i used to cut night after night after night . My family would be up stairs and I would be taking another razor to my body , making new or re opening cuts . It got to the point where my mom didnt even notice me anymore . she took his side […]

Everyone goes through a point in life where they want to die or they self harm , everone has a stage and ive been through mine . dont feel bad because your parents are fucking retards . thats not your fault . you just unlucky as shit to be their kid , but you know what ? once you move on and show them that you deserve better then thats when the good things come . people always say “why me ? ” when something shitty is about to happen or is happening but , next time say “try me ” show everyone that you […]

you are the main reason im so sad and depressed. i hate both of you with every fiber of my being. you raised me wrong… like completly wrong. you were to strick to much of a ***** and an asshole and you didnt trust me from day one. your the reason why i did everything that i did and why i continue to do everything that i do. one day when i cant find the strength to live any more and i do take my life…. i hope to fucking god you read this and know its your fault.

I have no one. Honestly, I have not one person to talk to about my personal life. I’m hated by almost everyone because I’m different and because I’m not perfect enough. Lately I’ve been thinking about over-dosing, and its not like anyone would be here to stop me. I can’t feel anymore, I’m never truly happy but never truly depressed, I’m numb and I hate it. I don’t wanna be like this, I wanna be loved by atleast one person but it seems its only me that never gets anything. I guess some of you will understand what I’m trying to say, and I just […]

Life is hard. It doesn’t help that people these days aren’t particularly nice.  I get very good grades….and they still make me feel dumb. I look quite nice….they still make me feel ugly. I try my best to get good at something….they say my efforts will get me nowhere. This happens all the time. I think people don’t even know how much this hurts me for I often just cover up most of my depression with a smile. One day I wanted to just end this…I mean according to them I wasn’t going to amount to anything anyways. The only thing that stops me now is the […]

i feel so fucking angry!
i have been asking God to please kill me , multiple times a day now.
all i feel like now is hurting myself, but i have nothing good to do it with.
stupid piece of glas had no sharp edge at all.
all people treat it like its some stupid joke,
like wanting to hurt yourself and wanting to die is some sort of stupid joke
and all those assholes who tell me i am a loser, and its all my own fault, and i need to change something
at this time i just feel like dying. i really want […]

This may sound like im moaning about my life or just over exaggerating. But i need somebody to hear exactly what is going through my head and let me know (truthfully) if im making the right decision.

my life started perfect, i had a mum, dad older brother , a couple of dogs and a beautiful home. This was fine until i turned 7. My brother died of leukaemia when he was 10 and i was 7. A few months after this my parents went through hell of a break up which involved me being forced to video my dad ultimately hurting my mum. My dad […]

These past days at around 5 A.M. I’ve been waking up with horrible nightmares. All night I’m tossing and turning, feels like I haven’t slept at all. Sleep was the last place I had. It was the last six hours of just empty space,  no thoughts, no voices… nothing like that. Then last night, everything I was trying to hide, invaded the last place I had, the last safe place I had. They were constantly reminding me, mocking me, taunting me…

Maybe it’s because I’m running out of time and they are trying to get some last cheap shots before I ended it. When does this […]

Tried to finish myself off, half assed attempt though.

I tried to suffocate myself by inhaling CO2 for a long time, needless to say I’m still breathing. The last thing I remember is sweating profusely, feeling the desperate need to take a breath of fresh air, bundled up in 2 thick blankets with a pillow in my face. I was dizzy, hoping to just pass out and be done with it. Indeed I passed out (fell asleep) my bet is on the last one and woke up the following morning feeling miserable. I can’t understand how I got out of the blankets since they were wrapped […]

I know for a lot of you out there you’ve tried and failed.  Have you ever wondered why you’ve failed?  When I was in the hospital i walked around in a daze the first two days and cried a lot in my room.  My breaking point was my third day when I broke down crying in the hospital shower wondering why I was still here?  How did I fail?  I took a mixture of sleeping pills and anti-depressants and tried to overdose in my sleep.  It didn’t work.. I’ve tried to work through my feelings about trying and failing.  I wonder what the purpose of […]

As Christmas approaches i know this is a very hard time for a lot of you out there, myself as well.  Lately I’ve been trying to see the good in life and search within myself for the strength to get myself through the holidays.  My day’s seem long and hopeless i’m just hoping that christmas passes quickly this year and look forward to the new year and thing’s getting better.

I’ve screwed up a lot these past few years i’m really trying to rebuild what was broken.. I’ve always been a people pleaser and lately i’ve been trying to focus on just doing nice things for […]

Hello to all. Well, as I stated yesterday, my finances are a disaster. Case in point, I was woken this morning by an officer w/a summons. I am being sued for over $12,000 for a surgery I needed back in May. No, I did not make payments after the initial $1,500 that had to be paid in order to have the surgery. It is everything I can do to stay afloat. I am paying what I can on my back child support to keep them from garnishing my wages. (I bring home $226 a week) I also found out in August that I had my […]