I never intended to say yes when he asked to marry me, it was all out of emotion. Of course I loved him, more than I have ever loved anyone. He made me into the happiest girl, he stopped me from hurting myself again when I wanted to so badly and he gave me faith in love. I believed every word he said, no matter what it was…and that was my first mistake.
He claimed he loved me and would do anything for me, but there were all these things I didn’t know and all these things he wouldn’t tell. He’s the type […]
My mom, everyday I ask her when I’m going to see the psychiatrist and every day she says she is waiting to hear back from them. This has been going on for 3 weeks, I know she is lying to me, she doesn’t want to help me. She knows I want to kill myself, she knows about how I cut myself every-night, she knows I drink all the time too, and what does she do about it, what does she do to help me? nothing, absolutely nothing. She’s my own mother and she wont help me! I have to get my friend to drive me […]
So it just seems that everyday is a hassle now. Between school family and friends it’s hard to find time for. Things that make me happy. My dAd grounded me to where I can’t leave the house besides school and I can only have girls over. Why am I grounded? He found out about sex drugs alchohal just everything bad and yeah so I’m more depressed then ever.being at home All the time gives me time to think about things like Suicide and it seems like everyday that thougt comes to mind. And it’s not like I’m one of those kids that’s like life sucks […]
Hi every0ne. Kind of new here. At least new to posting here. I have read so much and learned so much and I’m thinking that maybe this might be my last straw. This could be the last place I might find something that can change my mind. I’m 38, soon to be divorced after 16 years of “marriage” and still lonely after so many years. Guess I’ve never been quite right and the one that I thought could help me become someone only wanted to be a “roommate”. I should have left her years and years ago. But I didn’t. I have wanted to die […]
I’ve never really wanted to die, I’ve only ever wanted a way out from what I was experiencing. I didn’t care what form it took, but I would really rather it wasn’t death. I mean, I hope you are all seriously convinced of what is out there after this life, because I’m not. No one has promised me that there won’t be pain after death, and no one could convince me of that. It could be worse than what we experience here, no one honestly knows. So we’re just taking a leap of faith that it will be better when it might not be? Huhm.
    I’m sorry to bother you guys again, but I really don’t know who else to turn to at the moment.
   I just found out today that a friend of mine and my family’s, who I’ve known for the past ten years, has advanced cancer. No one expects her to live very long. She’s already battled it at least once before, but it wasn’t this advanced.
  I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless. I’m literally a continent away, and I can’t talk to her or comfort her or anything. I remember her only a few months ago, and she was so cheerful […]
As I am nearing the end,I’m finally in the mood to write my story,top to bottom,down.I’m sure it will be long,and i don’t really expect anyone to read it,but I’m grateful for the place to express every last feeling without being told “Stop talking like that,” or being ordered to take meds/go to therapy/etc.
I am in my early thirties,and would rather not see another birthday. My life is very empty,probably because of ways that I have screwed up,probably because I am just a bad person and I dont deserve any better.
 I started this life as an accident,an unwanted child.My mother actually sought to abort […]
I don’t know what to say. There’s nothing here for me, and i’m in the way.
Is it so wrong that now I just wanna save a life? Instead of moaning and complain on how I wanna die I rather help someone instead. I wanna help a dying person even if it means I’m losing mines. Really? I wanna do right than do wrong. Be remember of the girl who saved a person’s life instead of killing herself. The last deed she done before leaving this horrible horrible world. Say my final goodbyes before I have one of my organs taken away from me. I don’t need it. I really don’t want to give my body to science nor be an […]
Hello.
I loved one man for 5 years. I was ready to kill for him…
I have MDD. When my depression became uncontrollable and I wanted to talk to someone or cry almost constantly, I started to take antidepressants. I tried to talk to doctor, but she only maked me feel worse… Then I found strong antidepressants and tranquilizers by myself.
I know that dose was much more than I needed… But I couldn’t control myself. I only wanted to shut up and swallow my problems, not to cry in front of him, not to disturb him with my fucked up mind…
Two weeks later I was hospitalized with overdose… […]
It’s been over 10 years since I first wanted to die. Six years since I wanted to kill myself. I recall how annoyed I first was, when someone said, “That’s the same thing!” I stand to my word and still say, “No it isn’t.”
I remember the first time I tried to consciously commit suicide. Times before that I hadn’t really realised what I was doing. But this time, I knew completely. It was three days before my 13th birthday. I felt so finished with life. I asked the air, “What’s the point of life?” Maybe there isn’t one. Maybe that’s why people say, “Perhaps the […]
anybody out there i understand exactly how u feel. I come from an abusive but religious home. my father has been physically and emotional abusive my mother who in turn takes it out on me maybe it makes her feel better. my older brother just got released from jail for murdering one of our neighbours 11yrs ago. i was raped at age 19, got pregnant a few months later then aborted my child( i regret it since but now dat i think abt it, i wasnt in a fit state of mind then so i’m hoping God forgives me someday). i quit my job coz […]
I’m not sure what to make of this feeling. It’s taken a hold over me and I can’t stop it. This weight that I feel, it drags me down. Into emptiness, into blackness. I feel no pain. I take no breaths. I bleed no blood. I’m not alive. I feel nothing. All of this is true, so why does it hurt so bad? I’m the exception to every rule. My life is slow and disappointing. They say nothing gold can stay. I’m not sure I was ever gold, but I was certainly better than this. I go back to house where it all started, just […]
You’re right that life isn’t fair. Because people are self-absorbed, yes. Because people are selfish, yes. We’re born into a world that we know, as soon as we become enough aware we know, we have to leave sooner or later.
And we spend that time trying to fill it with as many positive experiences as possible. That’s all we really want, isn’t it? Our day in the sun?
Well, we didn’t make the sun. I’m not religious, but I’m sure as hell we didn’t make the sun. Or the ocean. Or the mountains. Or the sky. You’re right; you didn’t choose to come into the world. You […]
I’m 22 years old. I work in television, I work very long hours and I find my job very stressful. In January of this year on my birthday I got a phone call informing me that my two best friends were in a car crash. They both died. I have no family to speak of and no real friends that will listen. I’ve been struggling for a long time with this.
I’ve always been a shy person. I find it very difficult to share my feelings with other people. This hits me extra hard since a little over four years ago the only girlfriend I’ve ever […]
I think ever since I was in elementary I have been depressed. I also think that is when I thought about suicide. I don’t think I knew back them what suicide was, but I knew that I just didn’t want to be here any more. I’ve never gone through with it, but it has always been there in the back of my mind. I also didn’t think that liking both boys and girls was a natural thing to do. At least that is what The Lady kept saying whenever I heard her talk about the subject. I do love her, but I cannot stand all […]
This is me. I erased my story so it cannot be stolen in case I finish it before I die.
I am a lesbian vegetarian wannabee wiccan, anoerixic, bulemic, drug addict. I am 17, but I feel much older as if I’ve been here too long. I am human and IÂ feel selfishness. I live in a fatasy, even while going to seep, i dream about being someone ese. Someone I’m trying to write about. Write about her power and no one will ever hear that story because even if I do not kill myself now, or soon, I refuse to be alive for long.
I am not supposed to be here. I do not fit in anywhere. Not with my parents. Not with my friends or […]
All that I write is the truth.
I wanted to know if anyone has ever felt the way I am feeling right now. When suicide is discussed (generally speaking) it is talked about with intense sadness (ussually on the part of the person thinking about it). For me, when I think (have not talked to anyone) about suicide (something I have been doing alot, lately) I have feelings of peace.  I take comfort in the knowledge that the idea of suicide has become, for me, a release of the obligation I have to get up out of bed each day and live my life. My life is not bad, not good, but old. […]