hi… My name is zero and i really feel stupid and weak. Like no one cares. I’m in grade 6 and everyone hates me. They threaten to kill me they call me names and exclude me from everything. Even in the class portrait, they kicked me so I fell out of the picture. I don’t look the best… I try to cover it up by thinking i’m cool but at the end of the day. I know i’m just a loser. I cry almost everyday from the bullying. They say things like “Suck it up, puss!” and “You just never came out right didn’t you?”. […]
Let me tell you about a little event that happened that has me thinking about killing a guy. Now I haven’t felt homicidal sense 7th grade but this guy just brings it back to me. At the begining of July I went on a trip with (blank) people. there was 11 of us. 2 females and 9 guys. There was this one guy named martin that I (HAD) an interest in. We hung out for most of the trip and were kinda in to each other. He tried to get in my pants like every other guy I know and I repeatedly turned him down. When we got […]
Surround me only after I attempt.Surround me when I don’t need you the most.Surround me when I wanna be alone.Surround me when I don’t want to hear people.I believe all I want to say is GET THE FUCK AWAY!
I just realized that it’s almost been a year since all the things happened with Briana, with me being interested in her, to us actually having a “thing”, then when she kicked my heart in the ass and dated my best friend.
That started happening around late november if I remember correctly. I’m just not going to get into it. The worst part is I’m going to be remembering all of this shit starting now and it’s going to be a horrible winter because I’ll revisit everything bad that happened only a year before. It’s felt like a bloody lifetime getting here but  at the same […]
Hi guys, most of you know me by now (unless I haven’t posted for THAT long?), but I guess I’m just here to say that I am ready. I won’t promise that tonight is the night because something could get in the way… But I know how I want to do it and I DO have the supplies I need to do it. I think if one more thing goes wrong (meaning if somehting else makes me feel shittier) I’ll do it. I don’t deserve the boy. I don’t deserve to be able to put someone through what I put the […]
Life is a path to Nothinggggg, I hate it. Soo what, suicide?
Am I crazy?
I cant seem to write anymore. Everytime I do I get mixed up. Most will think well you wrote this…but thats the thing. It is taking days to right this. Saddness is over running me and were I thought I had it worked out, I dont. I started popping again. For now it just bars. Hell I am thinking about goin back to weed. Everything seem to be bet……….i did care if people called me a slut or a whore. I didnt care if I had no friends…if u were a stoner people just were ok with u and thats all I […]
Ok so yesterday and all of summer I wanted to end my life, Just today I’m coming  up with ways to get better and be successful, maybe school played a part. because as I was in my classes i kept thinking how in 2 years, they won’t matter, We all go our own separate ways! and I’ll never have to see them again…ever It’s comforting when you keep thinking that way instead of a suicidal way.
Unfortunately I am still most likely going to kill myself, but not any time soon, I’m gonna try and if life doesn’t work out then… we’ll see right?
It’s been a year since you took that final decision … in memory I decided to post your favorite song for anyone who might care.
I’m sorry I couldn’t have helped, couldn’t have been there for you. I’m sorry I never knew.
I’ll never forget, rest in peace my friend…
Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky
then it starts to rain.
My defenses hit the ground
and they shatter all around, so open and exposed.
I found strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble.
When you’re broken in a million little pieces
and you’re trying but you can’t hold on anymore,
every tear falls down for a reason.
Don’t you stop believing in yourself
when you’re broken .
Little girl don’t be so blue
I know what you’re going through,
don’t let it beat you up.
Hitting walls and getting scars
only makes you who you are,
Only makes you […]
i’m going to do it tonight. idk how. probably jump in front of a train. Goodbye Cruel World.
I am just way too tired right now.
I’ve figured I can’t fight anorexia, I can’t fight bulimia, I can’t fight my depression or anything.
It’s living hell and I just can’t take it anymore. I’ve tried, I really have.
I went to church, I took pills, I went to therapy, I talked to my husband. But apparently church is just for the good people, pills are a joke and therapy is just stupid. Everyone I try to talk about treats me like I am just some sort of spoilt teen who knows nothing about life. Think whatever they want, I am beyond the point […]
Hey,
Iv been reading this post for quite some while now. I dont want to bore anyone with my pathetic story, as I am only to blame, maybe in the coming days I might. But I have learnt that life is so cold, I have lost everything. My dreams, the person I loved. I tried to stay strong but I cant, the depression kicks in. I had everything and now I have nothing. Maybe someone can relate to this, maybe you cant. I know Im going to cause pain to people who have met or cared for me. The worst thing is, that I cannot live […]
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. After one simple stupid mistake I am stuck with a legal problem resulting in no job no money no prospects and aparently the realization that I never had friends. Now my family is supporting me but I’m afraid I will never get back on my feet. Creditors harrassing me, and child support I can’t pay. I think my families money would be better spent on my funeral. For one thing that is going to happen eventualy anyway, for another I’m sure it is cheep now compared to how much it will cost in 50+ years. […]
I feel uncertain about things again. Not that I haven’t felt this way already, but after the whole thing nary seven days ago with the girl and the concert she couldn’t make it to I’ve gone through alot of emotions. First of loss, confusion, regret, hatred, self-hate, and dissapointment. I went to that concert, for the record, with my other friend, and it felt like a bloody dream. I texted her throughout. It was a great night.
And after, I thought, “this isn’t her fault now is it?”. I was letting myself down over the fact she couldn’t make it, and I told myself i should […]
When my eyes shut Im relieved.
When my brain rests Im relaxed.
When Im tired I cant sleep.
When my emotions are over worked I cant tire them out.
Its like Im in a never ending circle of tiredness.
With no will to stop it.
With no energy to relax.
With my body in pain.
With my eyes so wired.
Its like I have no choice.
I just wanted to share my story…. I’ve thought many times about comitting suicide but I just don’t want to hurt my family. I’ve been blessed in many ways in my life with a beautiful family, a good job and life style. But deep down inside I suffer from a deep agony from the past that doesn’t let me live in peace.
It’s just an impossible and unrequited love from the past that has been hunting me for many years now. She came to my life like a shooting star, stole my heart and left. I tried to ignore that fact 15 years ago and […]
I decided this morning to sober up after 2 years of living in a perpetual fog. The main reason is because I’m still so high functioning, maintaining a steady job and paying bills, and I’m tired of being so sluggish. I wish I could just cut back but I’ve got an addictive personality (i’m still trying to kick my candy and chocolate habits). Other than the responsibilities of my human life though, I have no reason to be sober.
I can clean myself up, do a bit of therapy and get back to where I was before I let my depression take over. I’ll still have […]
Can anyone direct me to something that will make me believe that is worth living for? I know it may sound pathetic but honestly, I really don’t get it…. Some people are depressed coz something happened to them and want to end their lives. I don’t agree with it…I don’t want to end my life but I want to find something that will make me wanna live for…now i live coz i have to…I can’t find something that it fundamentally wrong with me or my life, I have an ok job, earn enough money to have a good life, I am gay and I have […]