i’m here at work cryin to myself silently cause i am just not happy

its not like anything traumatic happened

i just dont feel loved, wanted or desired

dont feel smart eough, cute enough, rich enough

no friends, stupid boyfriend , no family where i live

i am beginning to wonder if something is wrong with me

do crazy people know they are crazy ?

is there like something really medically wrong with me why every other week i have severe sucidal and depressed feelings?

i dont know how to talk to anyone about this

i want to be normal and happy like everyone else

never thought i was retarded or anything wrong with me […]

i’m having one of those days again…dont wanna go through the pain of offing myself..jus wanna sleep and not exist anymore.

nothing in my life brings me joy except that i am alive

school is pointless , my gpa is so low its too late to bring it up so i can forget about going to law school

i know my boyfriend is cheating but i dont wanna be alone so i try to ignore it and not cause any arguments…pathetic and self loathing

lucky to have a my job but my job security is shaky as the business could go belly up ….and then what for me

want to […]

howdy guys- seems appropriate in this context. um.. I think it’s human nature to talk about what one does, is interested in or preoccupied with, and in the case of socially taboo, illeagle, unpleasant and ideas contrary to indoctrination I guess dishonesty or silence and combinations of the two. I made some sodium cyanide last week and dissolved it in water, chased it with a glass of lemon juice and ended up throwing up a big mess of foam and having my throat burn for a few days after. it was pretty ‘swell. I live in a group house for drug addicts and pretty much […]

Every single night I fall asleep feeling disappointed in myself because once again… I screwed up.

I keep feeling that if I were a better person, I would be a little bit happier but it seems impossible to change my habits because they have become a part of me. I also feel that mistakes that I have made in the past are still part of me, they still define me, so I am not able to move on to become a better person.

I just want to feel like I’m good enough. Good enough for somebody to love me or somebody to care.

I have such an inability to deal with things sometimes. It’s as though the slightest bit of frustration can just set me off. I thought I was doing better the past week or so. I hadn’t hurt myself (intentionally) in any way, I was making some progress in my efforts to start running and it was just as though I had come to peace a little bit with myself and my life. But then last night I had this dream, and it was as though everything in my life was right. I’ve had dreams before about things I regret or miss or whatever, but this […]

   how pathetic am i? today i had some sort of panick attack in my socials class so i started sawing at my skin with a pen lid. that how desperate i am. it didn’t even cut. it just peeled back layers of skin until i got this weird not-even-bleeding patch on my arm. god, i’m a pathetic, worthless, waste of space on the face of this earth.

   one of the boys i was working with asked what i was doing and i relied all calmly “Trying to cut myself with a pen lid.” that prompted him to ask “Why?” I didn’t even have to […]

I just took 5,000 milligrams worth of pills. 6,000 milligrams worth of pills could kill somebody of my measurements. I’m already feeling the side effects. So what do you guys think? Should I take 2,000 more milligrams in pills? Make sure I finish the job? Or stop, drink a lot of water, flush it out of my system?

If I already know how I want to go, and if I’ve already spent years trying to get through a depression with no end in sight, why should I continue to suffer ? Why not just end it all ?

in one case youve got soaring across the sky over many lands. and in the other youve got dead. flying with the birds over a blue lake, living in a casket. waking up and taking flight or waking up in a next life?  soaring above the mountains, ashes being spread in the ocean. which is better? what do you think?

Greetings to all, I just have a few questions to ask .

What do you do when  no matter what happens, your life just feels totally empty ?

Who can I talk to and disclose my innermost suicidal thoughts to if I don’t feel comfortable telling anyone in my life ?

How can I tell my loved ones the truth when all they do is get upset at my depression ? I can’t help but feel like my existence is such a burden to all who are close to me … like I am a plague that must be avoided and destroyed . If anyone can offer any […]

it was new to me hurting myself making myself bleed but it was interesting to will to commit. cut by cut the blood tastes irony like metal. but its the cut the way it looks being made. watching the skin split the blood form. how deep how wide. then burning it started in high school i went to an adult high and college campus so id let people at school burn me and i would show them i do it. but it really started with piercing really my knuckles. for a week every day i would pierce and re pierce my knuckles ears , hands,arms. […]

it hasn’t been the easiest. i’ve been to the psychiatric mental hospital twice. i now live with my aunt & uncle, 500 miles away from “home” my parent’s hate who i am, but they created me, they made me this way. they think it’s stupid, the fact i tried to end my life? they inflicted all the pain on me, everything they’ve done, has a cause and effect, later down the road. they label me as some horrible child. they restrict me from everything still. i can’t talk to my lovely sister they see as evil, nor her beautiful daughter. i can’t talk to my ill nanna […]

Is life supposed to b this hard? felt so down, just needed to talk to someone, the next best thing is google! thats how i found this site! and i cried! so much so many people in pain!!  it helps to read other peoples posts!

If it wasn’t for my two beautiful girls then i dont think i would be here! they r……the only ones that r keeping me going, i struggle every day!   Tonight coming on this site helped!!  people do tell me think of ur family they luv u! what would it do to them! if u were’nt around anymore! They dont understand! i […]

I’d like to die soon, thing are just not going the way i plan , this life is way to hard for me, even though i battled through an eating disorder, people think I’m strong, but I’m not it eating me alive,  it made me weaker.I just think all new ways to die, everyday and seem which ones the least painless, I’m done with this pain, i wanna go peacefully. but  i don;t even wanna talk anymore, im fading,not there, i feel numb, i get cuts now and i don’t feel it, i feel irresistible to pain and  feel nothing. The only pain i feel […]

and though I may not always be able to offer solutions to your problems, I will listen to them and I will care. Please email me at snjelly@hotmail.co.uk.

i am still not sure if people care im new here and was wondering how i could survive life not knowing what i’m supposed to do. is iot normal for some people to be strong and others crumble when they get hurt. i need some answers and i need it know i am constantly wondering about life and why i have the one i have. anybody??? no of course but still i need help. i want to know if its worth it to live past 14 years…………………….

Should I die? Or live? I think ill be way better off when Im dead…SErioulsy…I dont deserve to live because I just do shit and other fuckin shit…Im just a worthless piece of shit…and I dont want to live anymore For ReAL….

Well i HATE my life!! So many reasons! 1st Nobody likes me at school…and i get TREATED like CRAP! i Have like no friends and people just talk shit to me and my face!! Im so tired of it! Then at home its another thing i argue with my parents alot and with everyone… theres noone i can talk to about my problems because it just doesn work out! I HATE MY LIFE!! i already tried to commit suicide soo many times and i’ve cut my selft a lot and i just got my arms coverd with cuts. and No one know I do this […]

Im pulled this way and that way.

Im pulled up and down.

My emotions are pulled daily.

My thoughts are every day.

Wishing I would be able to relax.

Wishing I would have some peace.

People thought me and my gf wouldnt last, people alwayz hated on our relationship that we have because we are so happy together ya we do have our ups and downs but all relationshipz are guna have that no matter what.People thought she was guna break up with me and she has but she wasnt serious serious because it was just an argument we have and my family hates her because of me 🙁 and wat Im afraid is 1 day she guna end it forreal this time and idk what im do but maybe itll be best if i go away..I never thought […]