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0

To anyone…

  May 11th, 2009 by jtmajor

      I have been there. too many times. my best friend shot himself in July of ’08. I’ve even had a loaded gun to my head in the past few months. if you need to talk to someone, contact me:

paintballerspike777@yahoo.com

jacob.major@stu.oldham.kyschools.us (easiest)

MySpace.com

I can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel.

If you need someone, I am here!

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4

This thing called life

  May 11th, 2009 by massmale413

I am a 59 year old male who just wants to go to sleep for a very very very long time….forever would be nice.  I just want to die in my sleep, without experiencing any pain.

If I were to die right now, I could honestly say I have lived my life to the fullest given certain constraints.  You see, I was born with very bad asthma back in 1949.  Back in the 50s, doctors didn’t know what to do with us children with asthma.  So they made us stay in our beds, put a big piece of plastic over the bed, and pump in oxygen.  …

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2

lost…

  May 11th, 2009 by allalone

As I sit here trying to write what is so called my life, it is hard to not have suicidial thoughts…

It all started since I was 8 years old. I don’t know why then but I remember one night my brother and I were in the kitchen while my drunk dad and my mom went to the store because my dad demanded more beer. I went to the kitchen sink and grabbed a knife and put it towards my stomach I told him I wanted to die! He took it away from me. After that, it did not happen again.

Recently my ex-fiance from almost 3 …

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1

Breaking Down @ Every Corner

  May 11th, 2009 by joshuadpeterson

I imagine myself as the boy stumbling out of the bar at 3AM alone and walking home. I don’t know what “home” is anymore, but I’m going to walk there, drunk and abandoned. And at some point, I’ll start singing a few songs that remind me of him.

I wish I could say I’m so sorry. I wish I could say I love him to him. I wish he felt the slightest bit of remorse for every time he said I meant less than nothing to him. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and find his car parked outside my house, knocking on the door, …

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3

7,7,7,0

  May 10th, 2009 by AbsentFeeling

I forgot about everything. Just a total blank out and then I fell apart. Tears were pouring down my face. When my mom finally came back from work we decided to go for a car drive. She said, as she often does, that something wasn’t quite right about me. Then she asked if I was at all suicidal. I quickly told her no, hoping to hear what would happen if I had said yes. She did a small cough/laugh and said that if I said yes I would go straight to the Mental Hospital. I know for sure that I couldn’t talk to her about …

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5

Untitled

  May 10th, 2009 by painterofmusic

No one is going to read this. I don’t know why I came back here to this website. I figured I never would after I found it the first time, but here I go again… This is exactly like when I found out I was pregnant, to a T; I was going to end my life, but then, an opportunity presented itself. I saw what might be a reason to live. Judging by before, assuming that the past paints a pretty good portrait of the future, I’ll be worse off than before. If I had gone through with everything before, I wouldn’t be hurting this way …

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3

  May 10th, 2009 by lkg7315

Like many other people have said, I’m not sure why I’m writing this.  I guess just to get it out.  I’m 39 years old and my life is such a mess.  I’ve been married three times, and apparently no one can live with me.  I have three kids whose lives I’ve probably ruined.  They have a mom who loves them very much, but won’t have a dad.  And I know all to well how that can affect your self esteem.  I work and try to the best I can, but it just seems like I make things worse on everyone around me.  My poor mom …

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8

Pure and Simple

  May 10th, 2009 by fredknowman

I want to kill myself. Simple as. I hate myself so much and I know, in order to improve the lives of those around me I must die. There’s some fancy new bridge opening soon near my home. I’m planning on making the opening ceremony something to remember. Lol.

People always say there’s something out there to live for. But I’ve hung around enough times before. I tipped away a lethal conconction full of pills, bleach and other household cleaning products once to give myself another chance. Then I tried to jump out of a window, only I got stuck because I’m so fat. But this …

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2

Sometimes . . . .

  May 10th, 2009 by vardas

I just don’t understand people.  It’s like everyone else got some guidebook to human behavior and my copy got lost in the mail.  Maybe I’m a cynic, but god, it’s just easier to assume the worst of people than expect the best and end up disappointed.  My closest friend is moving in a few months, to a city four hours away.  I know I should spend the time with her now while she’s here, but I . . . can’t.  Every time I talk to her I just end up lost somewhere between crying and absolute detachment.  I’m treating her like she’s already gone; it’s …

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5

Untitled

  May 10th, 2009 by painterofmusic

I’m not entirely sure what I’m thinking by posting this. I’ve kept to myself for all this time, no one is going to read this, and no one on here cares anymore than anyone around here. I mean, people say the words, but they don’t really mean them. You can hear, “I DO care about you!” but as soon as they say that, they’re off doing something else. But I guess if I’ve come this far, if I typed the words on the search engine that led me to this website, if this really is some low blow at getting suicidal people reported, whatever the reason …

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2

thoughts

  May 10th, 2009 by helper

I am lost I’m helping other people cope, because I cannot do that for myself, that’s what I’ve always done for two reasons. One because it doesn’t seem fair for two people to like fail and second because I keep thinking that somehow just maybe helping them will fix the problems I avoid in my life. I need help and guidance but no one sees it, ever. Its proven over and over again every time I tell someone who I am and how I feel its always like sympathy and I don’t need that I need understanding sometimes there’s some of that to but

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3

Lost

  May 9th, 2009 by susanl

i’m like alot of people. sexually abused, drug addicted (but not using now), on meds, been in hospitals, tried to kill myself alot of times, cutter, can’t keep job very long, the usaul stuff the bi-polar people have and do. I’ve talked and talked, nothing helps. I always end up back at the same place. To die or try one more time. This time it’s different, i don’t have it in me to try any more. I live in a bad area and in the back of my head i wish one of the gun shots i hear would come at me. You see i’ve …

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3

Alone

  May 9th, 2009 by fallenknight

Its getting time to head Home. Why was i put on earth just to be abandoned by every one? I’ve never had a girlfriend never know any girl to like me. Never had a friend that i could trust with anything that was on my mind i am alone. No one cares about me so why should i stick around anymore its been 24 years of struggle for me and it will soon be over. Why was God abandoned me? Why did God create me? As a cruel joke? All I’ve ever wanted was girl to love be but i guess that’s to much to …

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6

Everything is falling apart.

  May 8th, 2009 by lixie

I’ve been suicidal for a while now, after my boyfriend cheated on me 4 times. I really don’t wanna explain, talking about it hurts me so bad. Although I’ve always wanted to write about my feelings for other to see, I was to scared that anyone I know would see it, and figure out it was me.

Well, from when I was 14, I started hurting myself. Cutting my arms and burning with cigarettes. At first, I admit it was for the attention, maybe a cry for help that someone would see me. But after a while I stopped that.. Showing it around. And now it’s …

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3

  May 8th, 2009 by dyingstar51

I’ve been hospitalized twice for trying to commit suicide. The times I’ve tried were because of me being sexually abused. The first time I was 10. The second 14. Now I am 17 and have yet again been sexually abused. It seems like I’m cursed. I haven’t reported it because the last two times I did, nothing happened. The case was thrown out both times. I’ve resorted back to cutting. I find it as my comfort. It soothes me. When no one understands I know that my razor does. It’s helped me through some pretty shitty times and I miss it when I try to …

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4

  May 8th, 2009 by erased_orion

I dont really understand why i feel this way…come to think of it, i dont really have as much problems as other people, i mean, I’ve never been raped or anything like that….so im sorry for taking your time. It’s just that…i have no other way i could let this out. My best friend doesnt like to let me talk to her about things like this, and i can’t tell my parents…They’re not here. It’s just that i feel so…empty and alone…always. Im also no good at anything…i cant do anything right, and i have average grades, but i know for a fact that that’s …

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3

Career Loss

  May 7th, 2009 by softexcel

Many people have lost everything through this recession…  I lost my job and career ‘two recessions ago’ and cannot obtain work to save my life.  Am well educated, an engineer.  But my family is poor, so no trust fund :)   The pain of being ostracized from society and having a career ripped from my hands is so painful that I want to die.  Age discrimination, racism, sexual harrassment, chauvinism, many nasty things go on in the field of engineering.  One must have a skin made of titanium to survive the games, especially if one is a woman.  The women in engineering do not always support

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5

I Almost Suceeded

  May 7th, 2009 by NoWayItsRick

It’s been almost three months since I almost suceeded killing myself. I had everything planned, right down to the bottom line. I had called to say goodbye to my mother and grandparents. They had no clue what was actually going on. They figured I was just saying goodnight like I do everynight. I was going to take the entire bottle of serious pain killers I had. I still had a small bit of doubt and I tried to cling to it. The pain became too real for me. And it grew steadily worse. I started cleaning my room up. Organizing everything. In my own sick …

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19

What a fucked up life I lead

  May 7th, 2009 by harmlessfun

I’m finding myself hitting the bottom again…or shall I say bottoming out. That “special” time in life where you feel like you live in the gutter and the world spits on you in contempt as it gently walks by. The world cannot hate me any more than I already hate myself. I would just take my life, but there are so many people that would be hurt that death is not an option. So here I sit in my misery. Committed to a life of solitude. Making the decision that I’ll just start taking prescription drugs to blank out …

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12

What the fuck?!

  May 6th, 2009 by Crazy C

This is the hand we’re dealt, live with it or get the fuck out of here. Survivors to the right, whiners to “get the fuck out of here!” Abandoned as a kid, mother – suicide, brother – homicide, father – sonofabitch! And to boot, I’m bipolar with no coping mechanisms whatsoever. Should I get out my terrible towel and cry a river?! It’s good to see that the females are still here to play the savior-nurturer to all the male “misunderstoods”. This isn’t a suicide blog. This is the fuckin’ lonely heart’s club.To most of you, suicide is some romantic notion. There is nothing romantic …

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