I love to run, cut, and hold my breath.

I love to do anything that makes me run out of breath.

And yes, cutting does make me run out of breath. Why? I don’t know.

But, the feeling of my pulse going fast and me worthless air leaving my body, and my heart running out.. Is just so thriving.

It make my crave for death even stronger.

I love it.

I feel like I’m going to end up alone for the rest of my life. No pets, no loved ones, just me, myself and I surrounded by mountains of unfeeling stuff.

I hope those mountains will bury me alive. or dead.

i’ve just been fucking up sooo much lately… me and my girlfriend just broke up not too long ago… now my fucking best friend since like 1st grade, who is also my cousin, decides that he wants to date her. and, what i feel is in an effort to hurt me, stops talking to me, and just completely cuts off all sort of communication. xbox live, facebook, even in school. i wanna strangle that weasly fucker, but if i do that, my ex won’t talk to me anymore. even though she flirted with him throughout our whole relationship, i still wanna talk to em both… […]

I really am.
Whenever I’m outside in the street i see people smiling so easily. So carefree and happy of living their lives. While i look at myself and feel like just hiding inside a dark place and never coming out.
The reason i feel this way is because ever since i was little I’ve lived almost all my life with roommates. Not having my own home. And alone with just my mom. No other family. We have ended up in the street and have ended up with people who take advantage of our kindness and steal from us. I wish i had my […]

Right now I don’t feel depressed, yet I am yearning for it.

Every time I start getting a little better I force myself right back into depression and thoughts of suicide by over-thinking life and reassuring my worthlessness.

I have set a date for suicide somewhere next month, on my 20th birthday, and even when I’m feeling cheerful and happy, like today, I look forward to the day. I have convinced myself I don’t want to live, even when I’m cheerful and full of life.

I am in constant war with myself, always putting down happiness and opportunities and successfully beating down any happy thoughts that may be […]

I have a foot fetish and I feel abnormal. I asked some of my close girl friends what they thought of it, but never was going to take it to the level of expressing it on them. Later on, I get messages and facebook IM’s from their guy friends saying how weird I am and stuff. I have lost contact with all my close friends. I feel lonely and depressed and I feel like I will always be abnormal. I would commit suicide, but my future is too bright, but what is the point if you aren’t socially acceptable?

My father bought my mother, for $50,000.

A mail order bride. A silver haired geek dating some exotic bombshell, who would have thought.

What happened to not putting a price on an individual’s life?

I have no emotional connection with either of my parents ; but my mother pretends that she loves me to death, in public.

I go to private school, I speak 4 languages, English being my third.

I have everything a girl could ever want, really.

I just text my father if I want anything, and he gets it for me.

I’m one spoiled brat.

Yet I feel empty. Cold and alone.

I’m the “go-to” girl.

I love smiling, it’s my mask.

A […]

Because death is inevitable. I will die 70 years from now or I could die tonight and in the grand scheme of things it would make no difference. Like my dad would give a fuck. My mom would be sad for awhile. But she would get over it. Cory would be sad for about a month. When he goes off to live in Idaho. Forget about me when Maria comes around. Seth would be fine. To Jesse it would be like loosing someone to mooch weed off. No girlfriend to give a fuck. Maybe I’ll make it look like a car accident. Then no one […]

I want the pain to go away.
Would 1400mg of setraline do it?
I have no motivation, I am a shit person. A shit friend. A terrible daughter. A fucked up sister. And a careless girlfriend. I want to drink until I cry. I haven’t cried for so long now. I hate myself.

Forever will I feel this way? Or will it get better? You don’t know. No one fucking knows.

I lost my best friend. She just slipped out of my life. I miss her so much. I’m glad I didn’t have the foresight to see her slipping away. It would have been too much to bear. God help me I miss her so. My life has been unbearable. The pain so deep, so intense, so never-ending. I pray every day to just die. To just make the pain stop. This life I chose myself is too hard. I made a mistake. It’s too much. Dear God please help. Please bring her back into my life. If nothing else that made everyday a bit closer […]

Life is a dream and growing up we are all influenced to chase our dreams. I chased every dream I ever had and none of them ever manifested into anything but a realization that nothing good will ever come iN my life. I have never found any love because I am ugly and too smart to have any patience for the stupidity required to connect with most people. For this reason I invested all of my love into good friends. However, eventually I lost all of my so called “friends” and realized how selfish and unloyal they all were once anything better came along in […]

I thought i would post the address of another forum i am a member of. It’s fairley new with few members but we are a small caring group. It is a really good depression support site where you can post for advice, vent or distract yourself in the games section.

internalscreams . freeforums . org         no www. at the beginning

Please feel free to join, have a mooch around and get to know us all.

When it comes to death, life is a waiting game.

It’s something that will happen to everyone eventually, but sometimes people grow impatient. That’s why you’re reading this, right? You came to this site because you grew impatient. Death didn’t come to you when you wanted, so now you seek it. Or seek a way to prevent you from greeting death early.
Everyone has their own reasons.

For me, my situation keeps changing. It constantly switches back and forth from being good or bad.

Yes, life is a waiting game, and I’m just waiting for the next chess piece to move so I can see what my new […]

To die, to sleep—
No more—and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. ’tis a consummation(70)
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep—
To sleep—perchance to dream. Ay, there’s the rub!
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause—there’s the respect(75)

Hamlet

I don’t know but tonight seems good….
To end it

So I’ve post here before.. tis been a month .. I think? not sure… and so I have been thinking about ways on how to commit suicide. and through the help of other people, I finally made up my mind to kill myself by overdosing myself and cutting wrist also. If it does not work. I’ll hang myself. 🙂 That would be very fun~ And I’m looking forward to the reaction of the first person who can find my body. =D Anyways. Just wanna say thank you to all the people who have… stopped? And helped me? I guess.. 🙂

Goodbye cruel world!~ ^^ Kekeke

Wish […]

Hello, this is the first time i have ever reached out to anyone. I don’t know what to do. I’m 24 years old and I just feel like it’s not worth opening my eyes and getting up anymore. I feel like everyday get worse. Iv been so unhappy for so long. I look at everyone around me and they all just seem to get it. I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going. I just want to give up. I wish I could just fall asleep and never wake up. I have just coasted through the last decade of my life so worried […]

Hello again, fellow travelers. It’s been several months since we’ve posted on here. It was under Scars’ username and she doesn’t want me using it. I’ll leave some of my story here.

My name is Evin. I’m 17 years old, an atheist, and a monster. I’m one of three alters of our host who I’ll call Scars. She was diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder) when she was 16. I showed up soon after that. We have never been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder out of choice and probably never will because anything major we do is voted on. All of us have been coexisting for […]

You have no eye’s to see
You have no mouth to eat
You have on ear’s to hear
You have no hart to love
Your got no leg’s to walk
i could go on. Simple you just don’t exist

I’ve spent some time away from everyone on here, and I think that I can live. Perhaps not for very long, but life is too precious to throw away..isn’t that what you keep telling me?

The dawn’s fast approaching,

everyone tells me this, but

what about the sunset? Won’t

it’s time come soon? One day,

the night will follow the dawn,

and we’ll be back where we started,

so I guess it’s up to us, how we

spend the day…How we use

the light, take my hand, and I’ll

help you out of the murky depths

of depression, I’ll never let you down,

or go. Just trust me, I know how hard

it is to trust…but lovelies, it’s […]