Hi! My Name’s Hammad. When I was in my 3rd year at university I met this girl. We started out as friends but then before I knew it we connected more and more…till finally we started dating. We were in a relationship for a year…both completely in love with each other (well atleast I was and still am). I proposed marriage to her right after graduating and she said yes…..The issue was that Im a muslim and shes a buddhist…something which my mom had serious issues about. But I loved this girl and in no way was I gonna back down. I fought with my […]

i cant remer very much of my child hood wat i can rember is when i was about 5 years old my mom married her 4th husband things wernt going good although notin in my life has she threatened to send me to my dad which at this time i have no memories of or anything just the words of her always elling me how bad of a person he was later that night i tried to beat my head in with a pipe wrench to this day i still have cracks i can feel in my skull from it later we moved to a […]

hello im 30 yr and i am rapidly lossing my mind .all i think about is death ,i have tried 3 times to kill myself ,100 plus narcotic pills and pills again ,carbon monoxcide from car and each time some one has found me before i have died .why i do this im severely depressed ,i have been a drug addict for 23 years ,my family hates me , all my friends have despised what i have become . in the last 3 yrs i have lost my house ,my car , my mom ,2 dogs i loved so much,girl i was with for […]

So. Its my 20th birthday, yet life isn’t anymore exciting. I tried everything; moving away, moving back, sex, drugs, its all not working. I took the nursing program so my mom would just get off my back. Drew, my boyfriend and I moved into the basment at dads. Its been great for the first few months, but everything is getting so boring and life is becoming so repetetive. Yesturday is clashing with today, and no doubt tomorrow. Well I guess its time to go out, I’m almost 20.

I meet up with Sam and Sie, and I try my most authetic smile, because though they’re […]

i couldn’t take it anymore i fell apart in my room. i was screaming at a butterfly windchime to stop staring at me, then i hurled it across the room. my mom had heard it breal into tiny shards of plastic and came running up. then i cracked.
i blubbed everything i was holding inside. how i wanted to die, how i burned myself, heard voices and had horrible modd swings. then proceeded to cry for two hours while hyperventilating. she told my dad then dragged me to the ER the next day. that was one of the wierdest days of my […]

All my life I was in control of a super fugly man known as myself. All i ever wanted to do in life was talk to girls but unfortunetely this fugly red face and unconfidence prevents me from doing so. I have been so shy in my life that in elementary school I was a loner when it came to girls. At the end of elementary school when everyone was hugging and saying goodbyes, me and my friend were the only guys to not get hugged on that day, that happened two and a half years ago and still haunts me this day. highschool has also been […]

You. not anyone else. just you. you’re the only person I can talk to, the only person who hasn’t walked away, who hasn’t ignored me.

Please…come back. I’m desperate for you’re comfort. I need to hear those words, to let me know it’ll all be okay.

Kitty can’t live without her iguana…

it looks like is a wonderful day. considering the sun is shining through my curtains & keeping me awake. all i want to do is sleep. i dont have the energy to do much else. i just want so much of this to end.

It’s the weight of bottled emotions and burdens in my chest. Every night I absorb more through my eyes and ears.  Some, I take from my experiences and some I take from others. Our past, present, and future pulsates and drains into my body. This feeling (despair, misery, hopelessness?) is insatiable and drives me through the night.  It is my undoing and my strength. I try to free myself from it, but it’s always there tapping my window at every smile, every friendship, every desire.  How can one move forward in a sea of quicksand? My flame dwindles. I wait, to serve as timber or […]

I am aware of the low lethality of overdoses and the risks to fail and get some organ damages. But I seriously have been considering this, because the statistics are about overdoses and I’ve been thinking overdose with many different meds and alcohol with them. So what I’m asking is, do these statistics mean only overdoses with one or two meds like sleeping pills, or is it as unsure with alcohol as with only a couple of sleepy pills?

I have tried overdose with my both morning- and eveningmeds and mums also, and alcohol. I was fifteen years old and the ambulance guys and the guys […]

Funny how even in our blackest moments we can still laugh. A few years ago I was feeling desperate and lonely and sad. I felt like I couldn’t talk with anyone I knew, and so I decided to ring the Samaritans – the first time I had ever done this. It was about 2am, and I got this oldish lady on the other end of the phone, and I started to tell her all about my difficulties, and why I hate my life, etc etc. At first she made the occasional remark, but then became strangely silent. Eventually I heard a weird noise on the […]

UK girl needs expert help and someone to see me go. UK ONLY!!!

I look around, all i see are smiling faces, the faces of people who know who i used to be .. not who i am today .. they all think of me as a happy smiling girl.. i’m not like that anymore. When i see those smiling faces i fake a smile, when i realize i have to fake the smile i get disgusted and want to die.. I want to go back to the days when i didn’t have to fake a smile it was just real. Now everything feels like a lie.. Why cant i just be happy ?

You drift out of silent slumber and for a split second think everything is alright, but just as soon as a smile creeps to your lips, its gone again and the reality hits you, its not alright. You don’t know why but you’ve been slipping lower and lower until suddenly the enormity hits you and you have no motivation for anything. You eventually get up and leave the security of the smothering bed, but only because you’re made to.

You try to eat but have no interest in front of you, you’re beyond caring about hunger. Someone begins to notice and enquires as to whets wrong […]

I cant stand on my own… but I’m alone anyway. Everyone seems to think that I will make it past all of this.
“Its no big deal” I cant take all of this, I need air. Air to breathe. Air to live. I’ve tried not cutting but I can’t stop. The need to release all the built up pressure is so overwhelming.
“You need to relax” how can I relax when everything is so wrong? I cant.
I’m tired of crying myself to sleep at night. I’m tired of not having the energy to do anything. I’m so tired of trying to make everyone happy.

I went to the psychiatric emergency room this afternoon because I have the brutal combination of being wicked anxious and at the same time doing a nosedive into the deepest, darkest of voids one can imagine. I want so badly to drive a knife through my heart.  Not because I want to die, but because I want to live. Ever feel like your entire chest cavity, especially your heart, is being cinched tighter and tighter, bringing more pain with each breath? I need to stab my chest to let some of that out.

It’s so hard, living in order to spare others the pain. It sucks […]

im an 15 year old Bisexual boy. Who suffers from depression.. i think.
Have had suicide thoughts and i dont know what to do.

Help me D:

never have. but. I’ve cut 12 times in the past two days…before now I’ve only self harmed 5 times before in the past year.

this isn’t good. the amount of marks on my shoulder…no-one would believe they were ‘from my cat’.

Also. I’ve been paranoid about my wrists my entire life, I hate people touching them, or people drawing on them, or anything; but how come I just etched two red lines into my flesh?

I’ve never admitted it before, Ive always said to myself ‘yes you have agoraphobia, yes you have panic disorder, yes you’re probably bipolar, yes you’ve been sexually assaulted. but you’re NOT depressed’.

But I […]

im 17.im a girl. i just dont care anymore. i smoke too much weed.i was molested by an immediate family member when i was little. i hate myself. i go to an all girls school. i hate it. all my friends ever want to do is party. i want a boyfriend but i know im too crazy to have one. no one could take me. i have no real friends. i was gang raped by drug dealers a little more than a month ago. i cut myself. my moms an alcoholic and sometimes stays out for nights.. i know ive gone mad. i know it. […]