Hello all my fellow truth-seers and truth-seekers.

I think it’s going to be soon.  I’m no troubled teen.  Not anymore, I once was.  I was abused as a child.  I have no family that I currently speak to.  No help at all in the middle of this great recession.  I have a shitty job that I’m trapped in.  After an entire childhood of feeling trapped I don’t want to feel trapped anymore.  No friends really.  People don’t want to connect with someone who’s been traumatized.   Too ‘scary’.  Too real.  All I’ve ever been is thrown away by anyone I ever cared about.

I want to make an […]

I know it seems hard sometimes, but remember one thing, for every dark night there’s a brighter day after that.

“Hatred does not cease through hatred.
Hatred ceases through love.”

It’s true only if in an Utopian environment, where people are reasonable.
However wrong in this material world of snatching.
Everything the girl is going to say in the following video is right, except that.

Hatred by people seeing you as a piece of shit.
Then you are always the shit.
Especially when you are to die silently in your own thought of love forfeiting a fight just could prove them right.

You have to show them the hatred like shit is ejecting from them.
Let them see their real self, prove to them, lay out to them […]

I am unfamiliar with this site & I would like to post a story about my friend who committed suicide on The Suicide Project in order to both find support in this difficult time as well as to inspire others, if anyone could please help me learn to use this site I would be very grateful, thank you

It seem that my parents are partially to blame for the black hole the resides inside me. They say they want to best for me, but that includes me not getting to do anything….ever like the time I asked to go to the mall I asked mom and she said ask dad. You know what dad said???? BULLSHIT! Why he said this??? I have no earthly idea. They think its ok for me to just sit here doing nothing while the world goes by. When mom is working, dad is hunting, and little brother is with his friend and being 16 I should have a […]

Let me start by stating that this is a long vent. I’m not here for sympathy or attention. If I wanted attention I wouldn’t be doing this anonymously. If I wanted sympathy it wouldn’t be from internet strangers I know nothing about. I just want to throw my feelings out in public anonymously. Something most of us can’t do in real life…

And so I vent…

I moved to college and my parents got a dog to replace me. My friends thought that was sad, but I always told them it was okay; my parents are happy now…but in truth it wasn’t okay. It hurt. I kept […]

This is my last thread hopefully I have came to a final choice that I no longer want to die but I need to I’m done I’m not giving details about why read my old post. I need a couple realistic ways to commit suicide not crap like jump off a building. Also I don’t want to leave a mess so that pretty much leaves poisioning and whatever you guys can come ip with. I was going to do the helium method, but that’s unrealistic. I don’t believe in any religion, but my parents are Christian so I want to make this less painful even […]

Yeah. That’s the poem I have writted down and wrapped around a 30.06 shell in my little private box. I wrapped it around that bullet to remind me that the fight is all have left. Well Dylan Thomas was wrong. I was wrong. I have disappointed everyone who was close to me too much and too many times. Tonight, I’ll shoot myself. This is not some pussified cry for help. I dont care what you think. I dont know why I’m even writing this.

Your last hug still lingers in my heart
Your voice is ever ringing in my head
Your smile never surrendering to the dark
my soul has now learned to dread…

Fear of the dreams I have dreamt,
impede of my peace in resting.
For the illusions and mirages they net,
are cruel, deceiving, unrelenting.

I still see you smiling at me with all the love in the world
I still see you happily glidding towards me in the air.
But that is not reality, now your glance is a stare
a face without sentiment, neither joy nor despair.

And that stiff countenance occupying your fair face
was my […]

I can almost taste death.

It’s calling me towards it, urging me to have the strength to just crawl a little ways further to the gates of hell, to fall a little ways further into the deep abyss of suicide, to jump into the lake of pure misery and let myself drowned.

It’s coming soon, I can feel it deep inside me. I am surprised it’s waited this long to grab me and whisk me away. I’ve been ready forever, silently waiting for my day to come when all the pain would be gone and I’d cease to be anything but a memory.

My body is getting weaker […]

How do you say goodbye to the parents that have raised you, loved you and cared for you all your life. To the brother that has been there for me through life’s ups and down’s. How do you put in to words that I must go now, that this was my only way out. How do you put into words how much I love you and how sorry i am? Two more weeks to figure it out…..

I want it all to end so badly. I’ve been living this perpetual lie. The entire family thinks I’m in grad school, even though I’m not. I’m fat and overweight. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’m in debt with collectors constantly calling. Got fired from my job. As of me writing this right now, things look bleak. Often times I sit and stare at this hunting knife imagining how it would be if I ended my life. Only reason I don’t is because I’m a *****, and I don’t want to burden my family. Also, I’m semi-religious, and suicide would be a mortal sin.

I’ve […]

I’m new to this site. I need help. Last year I became bulemic, I threw up constantly. It is the worst time I’ve ever had with depression, and its coming back, I can feel it. Everythings slipping away, college is coming up, I’m losing my friends, that mean the world to me. Everythings just coming back in like hyper speed and I don’t know how to deal. I wish I wasn’t here, that I was anywhere but here. I’m losing my boyfriend, and that scares me too. I just can’t find my way out of this, I want to sink into a pool of black […]

Sometimes I  think of suicide. I think of hurting myself and for some odd reason it comforts me. I’m probably “attetion seeking” as my mum thinks I am. I’ve cut my arms, bit myself and tried to suffocate myself. I wish I could talk to someone or have someone who can take these thoughts away from me. I think I’m worthless and a nobody. I’ve spoken to my boyfriend about this and he doesn’t want to lose me. He would probably be so sad without me. Anyway, I would just have to try to carry on with life as best I am even though I […]

I tried, I tried to socialise.

You see, it’s my moms birthday party, and she has around ten close friends over. All laughing and joking. But obviously being me, the akward angella. I’ve got to sit in the corner and panic at every look.

How did I get this way? I used to be the glue to every occasion, I would dive right into the deep end, and frollic like a little child. Now, I’m afraid to even dip my toe in the water.

I can here them, laughing their asses off downstairs. And, it breaks my heart. I wish that I could be like them, I really […]

my brother was in a car accident last february. i’m so angry all the time and my mom is using his death to get attention. i want to start cutting myself because maybe it’ll distract me from being so mad all the time. I’ve thought about taking pills to end it all, but I’m scared that they won’t work and I’ll just be stuck here anyway.

FML

it is 5:33 am and I have finally snapped I need help I cannot call anyone its too late I need help I know im not making much sense i am so out of it i give up and I have been looking for somewehere to turn all night! I just wish something would happen and someone would reply back instantly i’m only 17 I need help please help me

I don’t know what to do. But death, pills have all crossed my mind. I guess life was going ok, tell tonight. My sister found my facebook, and pictures of her best friend that Ilabeled “my sister”.. because when I made that album years ago, I hated my sister. SInce things improved, I love her I really do.. but. I do not know what to do. Maybe everyone will be better when i’m dead, if I just take two hand fuls of pills, maybe some whiskey. It’s obvious I’m a bad person, who doesn’t deserve to have a sister or to live. That I have […]

“Heaven smiles above me
What a gift here below
But no one knows”

I feel like bleeding from my soul tonight.  A rare and not so rare occurance.  Rare in the sense that I come here to speel.  So I hope no one minds the emotional ejaculation that I am about to spew forth…what the Queens of the Stone Age put forth in their album “Songs for the Deaf”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s88r_q7oufE

So appropriately so.

“We get these pills to swallow
How they stick
In your throat
Taste like gold”

I used to think so.  The pills helped contain my rage-impulses, somewhat. My/our “patented” emotional dysregulation (I share a diagnosis with […]