I’ve visted this site almost every day for the past few months,  I’ve posted maybe once or twice, I just prefer to read and keep quiet I guess, anyway. I couldn’t help but notice the recent posts on capitalism and how it is robbing people of life, often without them even realising it. I’ve thought this all my adult life, and to see things for what they really are, and then not be able to do anything about it is killing me, I’m cetain this is a big reason why so many people in the western world are depressed or suicidal.. Greed and selfishness are encouraged, […]

You wont allow my comment onto your post so I will say what I have to say here;

Tom: you are an egotistical prick. I read over your older posts and everything you say is what I hate about people, and you are everything I hate in men.

I removed it. Although I and seemingly many others agree on the subject, I was rude about americans. I also now see that I am angry towards individuals who accept the system and I shouldn’t do that. Yes, we are suicidal here, but that doesn’t (and shouldn’t have) to mean that we are all going to get along any better than in the ‘normal’ world. I am ashamed at my rambling if it’s any consolation. 

I still think this site is a very good thing, we may not all see eye to eye but at least there is honesty here and free space to air our […]

I was ten years old when I first time was about to jump down from our balcony. I could just imagine myself lying there and see my bones overall myself. Unfortunately the building we lived was only three floors high so I knew it wouldn’t do the job. Now I’m 17 and nothing’s changed. I still can’t find anything worth for all I’ve got to stand and I am so ready to die.
It’s the only thing I really want.

I have once been 30 seconds away from succeeding by using my medical pills and alcohol, but mum came home when I was trying to walk. […]

“Each day as people make new choices we create the possible futures, so nothing right now is fixed.”

“‘Nothing we can do can change the past, but everything we do changes the future.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” – Maria Robinson

“Those who have changed the universe have never done it by changing officials, but always by inspiring the people”
– Napoleon Boneparte

“It is always the minorities that hold the key of progess; it is always through those who are unafraid to be different that advance comes to human […]

For 2 years I’ve been depressed, on and off medication, an alcoholic and a drug user, and yet I’m still alive, through stupidity or the sheer will to just live, I don’t know.

I’m tired of all this bullshit, no one will listen, no one will understand, not even the ones closest to us. I don’t want any more antidepressants, I don’t want to hurt anymore, I’m only 18 and have nothing going for me, I suck at school because I’m unmotivated and sleep deprived and I hate my job. The only thing good about me is that I’m pretty. Being good looking gets you know […]

that when I say to my husband that I’m depressed, I feel numb, that the only thing I need is to be left alone in peace and to rest a little, it is EXACTLY when he becomes more and more nitpicking, trying to force chores on me and raising his voice while it makes me feel more and more numb? I barely can feel the points of my fingers now. I feel so inutile, so irresponsible, so overwhelmed… I’m pregnant and I’m not even sure if I should be putting another kid in this world. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a coward… If I […]

I don’t know. I’m 48 and have two daughters. Been married for 26 years. Everything I do turns to crap. I keep trying and trying and I get walked all over and lied to. Life is just a pretense. I haven’t felt real happiness or excitment in years. I don’t know what to do about my 17 year old daughters drug addiction. We’ve tried counseling and it’ just terrible when you ask for help and it turns out to be a joke and adds bills to the situation. Those commercials on tv should be banned. No […]

I just got back from dinner with my family.
And I’ve witnessed & observed an ‘event’, that might seem just ordinary perhaps to many people there, and even to my family members,..but certainly NOT to me:

We just got back from quite a ‘cozy’ new restaurant/semi-lounge that my brother’s friend just opened up.
And there I saw many people, mostly young, around my age or so (I’m 28 btw),..and lo & behold, they’re all seem so happy, socializing with their friends, tucked in their office uniforms, with beers at hand, and I’ve catched the conversations mostly are revolving around jobs, making money, how to make more […]

Being crazy I mean. I am seriously crazy. I don’t blame anyone else but I think the easiest way to understand me is to tell you why I am crazy. I have early childhood memories of my mother selling herself to strangers. We lived in a house with no carpet, nails sticking up out of the floor. I saw her boyfriends beat her, I heard much worse things. I was very young maybe not even two years old… I can remember vividly though. At some point, I can’t remember what happened, my mom dissapeared. I remember being alone in the house with my sisters wondering […]

Are you blind
Blind to me trying to be kind
Volunteering for your firing line
Waiting for one precious sign
The flicker of a smile
You should try it just once in a while
Maybe it’s not quite your style
It’s simply too easy to do
And you might not see it through

Are you proud
To have founded a brand new behaviour
With hatred and hurt as your saviour
But nobody’s choosing to follow
So you choke back the tears and you swallow
Men who have ruined your life
You consume them with minimum strife
But now you have got indigestion
The antacid comes as […]

[Why do people reappear in your life, making you think they care about you, but they only end up reminding you why you’re alone?]

Well, decided I’ll hang myself [if it comes to that] instead of doing the helium bag thing. Used to be scared of hanging myself, thought about pain and how long it would take to die. I’m not afraid of that anymore.

Not sure where to find that perfect balance between being optimistic & not setting expectations too high. So instead I decided not to be optimistic at all. There’s no such thing as fair, or earned, or merit. Just a lie they tell […]

I’m thinking cyanide. I could put it in something, and I’m not afraid to eat. Quite the contrary.
Does anyone know where I could get some? Will it be expensive?
Not that it matters…

Struggling. Lonely.

Majority of the posts on here are from retarded fucked up assholes, desperate to spout their sad pathetic shit at anyone that will listen. I wouldn’t mind if these posts were actually from suicidal people but they’re not! Just fucking bored and STUPID fucks. Now all the other stupid fucks have something to do in spouting more generic shit in response to it, you’re all fucking idiots. Except maybe 3/4 names on here that actually have something to say.

My needs and desires cannot be fulfilled. What is so normal to everyone else is like winning the lottery to me. I want Britney so bad but nothing can be done about this for many reasons. I cannot satisfy a woman, I cannot get love, so all that is left for me to do is die. Don’t expect me to stick around while you all wave your love in my face.

To girls: I’m sorry that my ‘bad attitude’ turns you off so much. I’m sorry I have no reason to have a good attitude. Sorry that you almost seem […]

I just finished writing a letter to my friends, family and my fiance. I cant believe my life has come to this. I read over the note and put it in away for now. Im not sure whether I want to go through with it or not. I dont even have a concrete plan yet. I would want it to be something painless, something quick.

I honestly think I would have already done it by now if I wasnt such a wimp. Then there are all the religious repercussions for this decision. I dont want to go to hell but I dont want to live like […]

Fuck the panhandlers grubbing for money and smiling at me behind my back
Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car, get a fucking job
Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores stinkin up my day, terrorist in fucking training, slow the fuck DOWN!
Fuck the Chelsea Boys with their waxed chests and pumped-up biceps, going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jiggling their dicks on my CHANNEL 35!
Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped […]

I asked him to lick my back passage and he refused, yet he does this with whores all the time!  I don’t actually want him to do it but him refusing just proves that I am less than a whore to him, always have been. It was just a test, and now I know. I want to find the messiest death possible so that the bastard has to clean it up.

What others found it rubbish to have it deleted, I found it true to keep.

surrealist Says:

September 5th, 2010 at 10:08 pm
With regard to comments around marriage, let me say from experience, that it can actually bring more depression than not! It takes two unselfish, committed people to make a marriage work. It is not the Hollywood fall-in-love and everything feels so peachy as we live out the rest of our lives in bliss. I believe marriage can be great but only if it is approached by two qualifiable people – yep I use the word qualify. Marriage is not for the selfish, childish or […]