I see my thoughts conquering your head

I see my emotions on your face

It hurts to know you understand

Of who you are, of what I am

I see you as a caged bird

I see you yell things that cannot be heard

I feel your pain as I feel my own

I feel shut out, I see you alone

I hear you crying to yourself at night

I listen to you as my tears take flight

If you look at me you’ll understand

Of what you are, of who I […]

Hi
I would really like to share my story with you all.
I first took my first od at fourteen, 40 parecetomol. Was very sick as you can imagine.
my story goes. my mother abondoned me at 18 mths old, yet went on to have more children. I became so insecure as then my dad remarried to a hag, who constantly abused me, physically with mostly a potatoe masher and throwing me down stairs, I

seems like ive tried everything to let go. I have this boyfriend and well its not all the good. My life has been bad ever since i was in 6th grade. Right now it summer and well im going to tenth grade soon. Ive been cutting myself ever since i was in 6th grade. No one ever knew i did that until i reached 8th grade. I started going out with my boyfriend at that grade. Since then my life has gotten worse. I cut myself ones so deep that i had to get stiches. People stare at  my arms everytime they get to see […]

Broken hearts hurt but they make us strong.

Hello. It’s a pleasure to speak to/with all of you.

Well, what I’d like to say first off is that I am a devout Harry Potter fan. I have been for as long as I can remember. I’d gotten up to the sixth book before I’d even finished fifth grade, and Deathly Hallows came out on my eleventh birthday.

Which makes me a fresh-faced fourteen-year-old girl.

I must be obnoxious to the core, you groan. Bratty. Spending all my time at the mall. Despising my mother. Listening to horrible music. And, most of all, I must bully everyone I lay eyes on in some way.

Or perhaps I “realize […]

I’ve been waiting for hours for someone to talk to. I’ve been going back and forth between rooms, about to ask my mother to help me. But then, I turn around and walk away. She’s not going to understand anyhow… I e-mailed the help group i found online, the Samaritans. But they’ve taken hours upon hours to reply. I’ve only received two replies in about three days.

I know it sounds dumb, but I’m so afraid of death that I want to die. I don’t see a future ahead of me. I see me dying somehow, whether its by my own hand or not, and every […]

What the hell am I supposed to do? I don’t know if you’ve read any of my previous posts, but if you have, you’d have noticed a consistency in them as far as the problem I have with society’s subjective morality. I have several notes I’ve written on facebook that I welcome you to read. www.facebook.com/theycallmemanhattan I am just so sick of the subjective morality that has been instilled. I have had it! I just can’t handle it anymore. People are SO SURE that this construct is flawless and absolute and they’re just so wrong. Anytime I try telling these “monkeys” this truth, they […]

I’m 13 years old, almost 14. Since 5th grade, there hasn’t been a single thing that can stray me from thoughts of pure nothingness. Not for over three days. My entire life so far has been crap. Starting out with me as a young kid. I was always that kid in the back of the class no one really talked to. Everyone laughed at me, pushed me around, all of that. Typical kid stuff. I go on with my life and make people I guess…you would call them friends. But, they soon began taunting me and saying I just wanted attention. During classes I’d feel […]

I’m 55 yrs old and male…that makes me somewhat unique on this site.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a full, complete  understanding and empathy for the younger people who post here.

Last August I suffered congestive heart failure brought on by the extreme stress of my job…yes the very job people kept saying I was lucky to have.  While in the hospital for the heart failure it was determined I needed a quadruple bypass.   The surgery was done on Veterans Day last November.  In spite of all of the reassurances that this was going to make me better and that I would feel better than […]

I am have not given up but i think my dad might. he is the only thing that has been keeping me ok and with him at the end of his rope. Truthfuly i am scared that he won’t pull through this bad time. I know that now that he is giving up i will have to take on another load of work and i must be the strength in this family. i am willing and i will do anything i can and must to keep this family together. even if it mean pulling and pushing me to the end of my rode. I […]

Hi everyone, i’ve posted here a numerous times before when i felt both suicidal and down and i’ve actually been able to see some kind of “light” in life, or well… to tell you all the truth it sometimes feels as i am lying to myself because i keep telling myself that there is something out there for me, could be whatever, a well payed job to a new place to live in and so on.

Even though im somewhat lying to myself it feels abit better and i feel almost “healed” i mean.. as i look back i didnt really know why i was even […]

So I think about death,
I want to know what its like,
What it feels like,
My lifes a real mess,
At least my name wasn’t Tess;

Death isn’t a place,
Death isn’t a where,
Death isn’t a feeling,
Death is what I want,
Its where I’m going;

How to get there is a choice,
Will it be hanging,
Will it be cutting,
Will it be pills,
I don’t know…;

What ever the way may be,
I hope noone sees,
Noone to stop me,
Noone to hold me;

Goodbye;

I love you, cause you all are persons like me.

We all want to die.

And it’s so fair, in my point of view. Most of the times.

Let’s die happy guys.

You can die sad, but knowing or  believing you will be happy. In God’s glory.

Let death come!

Best wishes,

Lee

Today I went to church and I felt so guilty. I haven’t thought about killing myself in two weeks I was on a roll I considered myself sober because I had my music on full blast so I won’t think just hmmm to the music. But it ended today because suicide is a sin and being in church seeing everyone going on about how they love god made me sad. All I do is sin every time I think about killing myself and cutting myself. At that moment I felt like killing myself. Yea how sick I’m sinning in church. On top of it […]

My familys gone off to see the pariade down town and I still here becouse i slept after worling an extra late shift.As I sit here I see a pizza cutter and other knifes.I wonder why I am even alive.All I do is work and live on my broken dreams.I don’t date.No friends.An untrusting family.no LIFE.I could it it right now however,i coulden’t die now.My boss wants and is expecting my to be at work.I might cut myself.At least I could do that right.All I have to do is say.”I got it at work””I hit my arm on a nail,blackberry bush,”ect.”My cat scrached me when […]

Why is it that love suck? The thing that gets me is that even if u don’t want them if they start loving someone and if u keep talkin to them u are still heart broken. I want to cry and yell to the heavens but I know it is my fault that we are not US but it hurts again. What can I do?

The heart bleeds and crys
What can I do
The tears of blood go down and I still stand
If I fall will I be caught
I scream and plead to be helped
HELP PLZ HELP
What can I do
I […]

to often i see ppl run from there past and hidefrom there future. the biggest mistake is to run and never look back. if u dont look back u cant see where u have been and how much u have done. the think is they dont want to b/c they have fallen so low that life seem umbaruble. but if u fall the only way to go is up. i love that ppl fall but if can be amazing to watch them climb up.
thing is life is not what ppl make of it. ppl seem to think that if u wait and let life […]

For five years now i have been made fun of and mocked everyday, people have called me any rude or crude word possible. Its now summer and i have done absoultley nothing, my sister gets to do anything i have been waiting to get new clothes for 3 months. i am down to 2 shirts and 2 shorts. I was suppose to go shopping today for some new ones. my parents blew me off. Is there a point anymore, i try and try to stay happy. all i do is cry, i made threats to my parents about killing myself and they never listened. well […]

I’m become sick of all this. I can’t go on living this way. My brother has started to hit me. It’s not that bad at the moment, the occasional punches and kicks. My parents do nothing about it except laugh. I get made to do everything around the house and it’s becoming all to much for me. I don’t feel like their my parents, more like I work for them.
I don’t have a social life anymore. I’m wondering is I still have friends. The friend I think I still have doesn’t even talk to me anymore. When we do talk it’s a few words and […]