So this is my first post and I don’t really know what to get out of this. I am young and some would say attractive. I have a husband, a son, and one on the way….so what is my problem? I feel selfish that I have these thoughts, these feelings. I AM AT A LOSS. I am in this losing battle. I live with my in-laws and many would say that that is my problem. They definitely play an important role in my misery. I have lived here for a year now and I can say that I actually hate them…I hate their voices and when I […]
Tag:
10 Years
I joined this community because I was at a loss. I have not been able to find support groups in my area or surrounding area. Since finding this site, I have felt some form of connection with individuals who understand and are struggling too. My story started the day I cut a bit too much and had the gun up to my head.  Then next day, I had been admitted to the hospital for 7 days, and treated for cutting and attempting suicide. The amazing thing since I have been out which has been approximately a month, I wish to God that I would have […]
I was so depressed last night. Poor me, poor you. Poor fool who thinks your life sucks. Shit, I’m sick of pity. I’m buzzed. I drank a cup of Jack, now I feel good. I can’t help but wonder how long this will last. 10 more shots and I’ll want to die. I have an extra big bottle tonight. Manipulation has always done me so much good. I know my habits, drink and feel good, drink more feel okay, drink too much want to die. I have too much alcohol in the fridge. Way too much alcohol for one man to handle. Blah blah blah. […]
One of my core problems is that I am extremely vengeful. When sombody does somthing major to hurt me I cannot let go of it until I get revenge for it. I feel like forgiving is weak and defeat, sorry if that is offensive. Anything major that happened even 10 years ago I am still mad about. I really should have gotten my revenge along time ago instead of holding the anger for years. I don’t believe in karma so to me If I don’t get them back they got away with it. And reveng is the onlything I can do now that could possibly […]
I cried for the first time in almost 10 years. It was only like 2 or 3 drops, but for someone like me who thought his tear ducts dried out years ago, it was a real relief. I have been contemplating suicide for years now. But only recently have i reached my breaking point. I have no real friends, only acquaintances. Im a 20 year old virgin, who only had one girlfriend, but i never met her in person. Had my heart broken more times then i can count. I learn the hard way that nice guys finish last, because im hopelessly to nice for […]
My mom just gave birth to a baby girl which means i now have 4 sisters. I’m afraid that she’ll end up to hate the world,to feel unwanted and to feel like she needs to be perfect like the other 3. I want this baby to be positive about everything,to believe,to hope,to think that everything isn’t based on appearance and that everyone should be excepted. I want her to be open minded and open hearted like i am. Me as the first born watched as my mother attempted to raise us all in hate but i was the only one able to wake up and […]
I don’t know what to do, I can’t seem to keep going like this, it has been 10 years in a slow descent into oblivion, it hurts so much now just to wake up, but I can’t do it, it would hurt others, and that would be selfish of me. My best friend A, has a boyfriend, but she is the only person who makes me better, but I cant hurt her, and I am leaving soon by asking her to do things with me because people are judgmental assholes. I think of better and better ways to kill myself, and with more than 30 episodes of […]
Im crying out to my familly to listen.
No one understands i cant take it. Ive been through so much in my life and no one is here to help me breack free from it.My mum is a foster carer and treats the foster kids better then her own, she spends more time with them, listens and talks but whenever i need help and support she dosnt have time or she acts like she understands so i dont keep talking and gets offensive. My mum helps everyone but forgets about her own. I lend everyone money and im sick of it my brother lost his job […]
Today was one of the weirdest days of my life. I have been depressed since I was 10 years old. I’m 14 right now. I have attempted suicide 4 times. I have tried to drown myself, I have thrown myself down stairs trying to break my neck, I have tried strangling myself, and I have taken 15 pills. Today, I was bickering with my boyfriend John all day. We argued over him eating, me eating, and me cutting myself. First time we argued it wasn’t that bad. Then I told him that I was craving blood. He didn’t quite understand. So then I went upstairs to […]
I just had one, simply because someone else posted something moronic on their facebook. Some bible quote:
Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men
My thoughts were like this; that is right, I am trash, I am going to be trodden upon, because I have no savour, and I can’t fight for myself, I’m horrible and pathetic and damaged, with no morals, no motivation, no drive.
Its like pearls before swine, and I am swine. A […]
I am trying to hold on but don’t know why. My mom died when I was 9, my dad has never really been in my life & raised by my grandma & grandpa, they both passed a long time ago. I literally have no family & 4 years ago my life changed forever. It had been 11 years together and was so in love when I found my ex-husband. I was married once before and had one son, but we were too young and I thought thats was love was until I met my ex. He raised my son as his own and really gave […]
It seems on this web site I am in good company as the comments I have read here I can relate to and it’s been so long since I could relate to anything. Â I have been on anti depressants for 10 years. The last few weeks I have hit the end of my rope. Â I cannot cope. Â I am now planning my suicide which will most likely be an overdose and it is the only thought I can gleam comfort from, the knowledge that my destiny is in my control and that all the fighting will soon be over. Â I have 3 children and they […]
I thought I knew my husband, but it’s clear I don’t have a freaking clue who he is. We’ve been together 10 years, married 9 and I don’t know this man. He’s been keeping secrets, and I think probably has from the beginning.
A bit of background, mainly for me…I’m trying to makes sense of nonsense. He’s from Nigeria, a doctor, I’m white from the US and a nurse. We got set up on a blind date. Married 5 months later. Me stupidly thinking he loved me. Almost immediately he takes a trip to Nigeria, for over a month, over the next 4 years he probably […]
So my wife left me about one month ago. She was constantly lying to me. We would agree on something and she would do the total opposite. I would ask her question and know she was lying.
She is 10 years younger than me….and I had more wealth when we got married. She now makes more money than me. She also sign pre-nup before we got married. I brought a house with the money i sold from my apartment and the house is under my name.
Well fast forward a year later…she tells me that she want the house under her name and she won’t help with […]
way i want to end my life i have lived all my life with learning and
spelling disability all have for the rast of my life been suffering
from depression im on a diabily pencehn all its had for be to do
things like making my meals keeping my self clean any many more things
been like this all my life and i am so tired of going on like this so
my only way out of it is to end my life I have been wanting to end my
life for over 10 years and fell its time to and it all all be […]
As with most things lately a lot of shit is spoiling my plans for self deliverance but something happened a couple of hours ago that was more shit, but kind of funny.
I was in my basement cleaning an old M1 Garand Rifle that I need to sell to get some money, when I heard a loud banging on my door; no one calling just banging on the front and back door. I figured it was either my landlord or some other bill collector so I did not answer the door and just hid…as usual.
After a few minutes, it stopped and I went upstairs to the […]
what should i post about? this is my first post. i’ve got a couple of saved drafts where i started writing about myself and my situation and things i have been going through but i’ve put them aside for now, probably won’t go back to them. Â i feel ok, almost good at the moment. whenever i read a post from people on this website where they talk about their immediate feelings without talking about whats going on with themselves in the big picture, without talking about the whys and whats and hows, i sometimes dont like it because i want to know about those very […]
I don’t understand why people always get so upset about this subject or why there is such a social stigma about suicide. If I can choose to take the life of my unborn child, legally, why can’t I choose to take my own life? I honestly don’t understand why that is wrong. The most ardent pro-choice people I know are totally against suicide. People don’t like suicide because of how it will affect them, personally. They are not thinking about the pain the person who wants to die is going through; they are thinking of their own pain of losing someone.
When I say, “suicide is a […]
I have spent the entire day in a fight. A fight with myself, with my boyfriend, with my life. I don’t want to do this anymore. I am so filled with anger and hate that I can’t stand to be around myself. This has been going on for a long time. I am a college graduate and looking at med school, but right now I don’t feel like I am good enough to even get in. I am taking science prereq’s and I just got a C on my last A & P exam. I feel so stupid. It doesn’t help that I have an […]
1/ I have nothing to look forward to anymore in my life as over my life time I have been fisically motioal vrebally abused sexually because of all this abuse that I have been through i can’t sllep well without having nightmares of the abuse i have also spent time in prison where I was sexually abused there by older males I have tried to commit susicide a lotal of 93 times since my first sexual abuse at me when I was 9 yeras old when I was in a state home for boys the first time was done by a boy aged 16 years […]