Well I’m planning to end my life in the next day or so because I just can’t take it any more. I’m not really sure why I’m even posting this but I feel someone should know how I feel at least. Things have been terrible for me since my mother’s death last March.
I’m 28 but because of severe anxiety and other issues have never had a job and thus have no money of my own so I’m stuck living with my father who I hat for many reasons and have hated for about 20 years. Not the least of these reasons is that he […]
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Tonight at symphony rehearsal, the director had a sad announcement to make.
One of our trumpet players was found dead in his car.
He was maybe late 20’s or early 30’s, and I’ve known him for over 10 years. For as long as I’ve known him, he has had a lot of problems with drugs.
I remember sometimes after rehearsal, a small group of us used to go out for dinner, then we would sit around outside and chat for a few hours. I remember he would freely admit that he was willing to try any drug he could afford, legal or not. It helped him mentally escape […]
Hello, I can’t keep taking life from no success and all failures. They say you should try and keep trying but all i have been doing is stopping and stopping. I keep telling myself will i get better if i keep my vision on the right track. But when i think about it.. What do i really envision about myself? I’m 24 and male. my life has been a huge lack on interaction with people. it’s so hard to be myself with new people because the real me is a trans-gender. I always had more guy friends then girls.. I wanted to have more friends […]
It’s just passed noon here and I’m already drunk. I need to write because I’m struggling alone here. I quit all my psych meds and I’m going through some bad shit. I have to stay strong though. Being on meds made me fat and stupid and lazy. I’m tired of living in a fog. I recently read Anatomy of an Epidemic and it’s about how mental illness has gone out of control since the advent of modern psychotropic medication. Big pharmacy companies are full of shit and for most people these drugs do much more harm than good. I recommend anyone suffering on meds read […]
This is by far the best song that I listen too through my daily struggle in this world I listen to it when I’m speeding in the highway. At work everywhere you guys will love it especially the drop at 2:09, 2:52, 4:20 & 5:05 that beat is ridiculous this is the song I’ll never be able to post a better one than this DRAGONFLY that’s exactly what I see especially when I drive. Fastest I ever went with this song was 198mph on a 2am night of Christmas 2015 yes 198mph is the fastest I ever went in my life I won’t say where […]
Idk why, I lived for 20 years and always did what I wanted . The thing is, if after death is nothing,why not go into that nothing?
What could be more awesome than to return into the nothingness we came from.
So.. My body has been building up an anxiety attack for about 20 minutes now. I can’t breathe. It doesn’t even feel like my heart is beating, but obviously it is because I’m alive I think. I feel light-headed. I want to vomit. I’m shaking. All the heat has left my body. I can barely move my muscles. And this is only a build-up..
Just curious- how many of you guys have hope that your life will be better and that you’ll be happy / find happiness at some point in your life? And how many people believe that they’ll be depressed forever or that their life isn’t likely to get better?
Also, if you could include your age, or approximately how old you are (like 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 65+, under 21, teenager, tween, etc).
Just wondering what the state of mind is of the people on here. And if age matters on outlook. Thanks.
What is it in people that keep them around? I see so much suffering, grief. Awful things- and I think- why do they keep on going? Why don’t they just end the misery?
Why haven’t I ended the misery. I’ve tried to be optimistic. These feelings will pass, the vice will loosen it’s grip upon my neck. And it does, for short while. But, for the past 2 years, the pain has been ever present. The desire to disappear grows with each hour. I look for a cure, for a reason to stay, but cannot find one.
I’m here not for any confessions just to tell about me to this world and if even one person agrees who I am that’s enough for me
I’m a 20 year middle class boy who has faced many troubles infamily…from childhood days I have never seen my fathers love towards me he keeps on shouting and pin points a very small mistake to a large one.. I will be beaten up when I dont obey my fathers words for even a silly thing and my mom doesn’t even raise her voice against my father she reacts like “whatever my husband does is correct bcoz he is […]
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I went to the Buddhist center with my roommate and he was volunteering there and I was with a woman who is some regional leader that he’s close to and people were chanting for 2 hours. So I did the 2 hours of chanting then most everyone moved to the auditorium and even though we were just listening to people speak and not chanting, I had a vision that I’d live somewhere past 85 and I would always be alone, never marry, never have anyone, and never have sex again from this time forward. I didn’t think I’d be homeless and I don’t know how […]
For everyone who tried to say that the 20 year old at least liked me. I had a feeling I couldn’t hold my breath on him because it’s a lie. So there you go. No one can like me just like I said. He lied.
Hey guys. I realised something. I am young, so young. I am going to turn 20 on the 26th december. I have decided to let go all of my theories of atheism/creation and blah blah and do what makes me feel alive- Boxing and gym. I am also good looking an have nice muscles lel. I hope you find peace in this life, I am going to find it by boxing and gym and high protein diet like I use to do, I also recommend sport for you too. By making sport and having a well based diet you can overcome any problem . I […]
Hello guys. I think I will go next month when I will turn 20. Atheism is right. I ‘ve been through a lot of shit and I think everything is meaningless. Now some of you will say stay alive, some will shut up and some will say go through it. And I think I will go through it. What can be better than eternal silence?
We are just made/evolved so we can reproduce and carry on the species.Everything that happens are just chemicals in our brain. I am really tired. And I hate the most those people that say that life is worth living however it […]
There is a moment when you look into the eyes of the people you love and see how much pain you are putting them through. There is a moment when you see the worry and the suffering and the fear- and the exhaustion you are putting them through. How their movements become slower, as if the world is weighing on their shoulders. There is a moment when you remember just how worthless you are- just how much you aren’t worth it.
I looked into my mom’s eyes tonight and saw the fear in them. I saw the worry, and the pain of 20 years of having […]
As a follow up to my last post…
I feel so alone. He’s out with some other friends and earlier today I had to tell him about 20 times I don’t want to hear it and he actually said he thinks it would be good for me to get over him if I knew he went and fucked a random girl. No I just feel like my heart and soul got ripped out and stomped all over. It’s like he thinks my feelings can just be shut off and end on command. It’s like I’m not human at all. I feel so alone and like I […]
Does anyone else feel this way? I personally don’t want to live as absolute long as possible. I read about how some people live 100+ years, crediting their longevity to silly things such as “eating bacon everyday” or “eating a grapefruit daily” and so on. I’m glad to hear that these people are glad to be alive and further happy to hear that they’re content with going on living for as long as possible. And then there’s people who have searched for ‘the fountain of youth’, wanting eternal youth and never aging. Me? I definately don’t want to stay on this earth for as long […]
I heard from an old friend again yesterday. He’s this 20 year old kid who has a hard time dealing with life and figuring out what he wants and who he is. I’ve known him since he was 16 but never met in person because he lives way too far away. He looks up to me for advice and such but he will talk to me for a few days then disappear for months on end, leaving me to feel like I can’t rely on him coz he’s just a kid. He waited until he was 18 to tell me that he liked me and […]