so my family is suppose to be going to a christmas concert today. yesterday when i was driving home some asshole swerved into my lane which made me swerve and lost control of the car and i ended up spinning out the car. i landed in the bushes and the most i have is like whiplash. then my aunt called my dad today and told him that my cousin committed suicide. i was never close to this cousin. the last time i saw him was like 2 years or so ago. he was in the military and was in iraq so everyone is just saying […]
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If i could erase all my flaws i would…not to be perfect but to be whatever they wanted me to be. I would fix my shattered heart. And i would erase my memory forget all the pain that been stomped into it.
I would let go all the hatred
I would smile just to make someone smile
It’s me i haven’t killed myself yet still thinking of January or just before. My father may have something wrong with his kidneys and i don’t want to watch him die my god mother has something wrong with her heart and i know death is approaching fast so my death must approach i am only worried about leaving my mom without money especially if dad dies im a big part of what keeps money coming in.i don’t know how to change that in fact it breaks my heart.i know they’ll be looked after by god even after im gone i just worry about them.im not […]
Hi there. I just want to share my story. I’m kind new around, i’m from Portugal.
Well all my life i have been very negative, in my concept, i call it, realistic. Why do people think positive? do they want to get hitted hard in face when things fall? Anways its just my thing i guess, and im very hard person to motivate, i watch everyone, and they all got a dream, they want to be someone, and have some carrer. The thing is that i never dreamed or wanted to be something, all i asked at my teenager age was someone to connect, guess what, i […]
i wanna die and i’m peeved cause i can’t get myself to kill myself and also i’m peeved cause if i’m dead i won’t be able to appreciate how nice it is to not have to be alive anymore. i just don’t know what’s happening because now dying sounds sketchy but i don’t want to be alive either. IM ANGRY AT EVERYTHING
Hello again i am very new here shy also i wanted a change my name i only posted recently didnt say much but i have been reading posts for few months now i am depressed i went to see a pyicitrist but he really didnt help me i will try again and hope to get some meds i have not been diagnosed with the two i kno i do have anxity and depeession i really hoped when i took that step and shared things with him hed give me some meds and i got nothing ill try again someone else all i can do hello […]
i feel completely empty like i have gave up on bothering to even stay alive anymore because i just cannot find a purpose to try anymore on getting better, i just want to be dead i want the pain to suddenly stop and for all the problems to suddenly disappear and then people will realize how desperate i was and that i just couldn’t fight anymore. i am fifteen years old and clinically diagnosed with depression and social anxiety, and every single day i am made to get on with all my problems and try and constantly fight my own battles by myself.
when i was five […]
i have always had an issue with following through on things…i dont know if it is me or if i developed it as a bad habit from growing up in a different place every year for 10+ years. either way, i am finally going to commit to taking my own life.
the thought of suicide has brought me comfort and relief over the past few years, but this year i have been researching and planning it whenever the classic bullsh*t in my life resurfaces.
i.e bipolar alcoholic self absorbed mum and her abusive peado husband. and all they have tortured me […]
so i thought my roommate would be gone the whole weekend but she came back today. and she was on speakerphone with her mom in the other room. and i heard them talking about the rent so i started listening. and then they were talking about the dishes of my mine that she stuck in a garbage bag in front of my door.and her mom was telling her to be nice and to do them for me but my roommate kept telling her she was just going to throw them in the dumpster.then she was telling her mom how shed be really happy if she […]
I was born august 17 1997. Im 18 now and i have been brutuly depressed since i was 9. I was in the group home since i was 9 and got out 4 years ago cuz i couldnt stand being so depressed. I was left alone and have been alone for a very long time. My family has abandoned me and i cant stand this feeling of beeing lonely. I have hallusonations and visions and sleep paralysis. I have been homeless for 3 years. Im dead broke and i only smoke weed and drink not often. Im so stuck. I want to die but i […]
hello. i’m a 19 yr. old female, just joined. i have depression, social anxiety, and self-esteem issues. i’ve never actually attempted suicide, but i’ve wanted to die many times, and especially this past year. my life is crud and i don’t really do anything. i dropped out of school early last year because of bullying, and i haven’t finished. i don’t work, i live with my parents who are alcoholics. i don’t have any friends. i’ve never had a boyfriend. i’m obese and ugly. i don’t feel like my life is worth living anymore. the only thing i do remotely well is write poetry. well, […]
Dreams better than reality? Why Dream is better than reality? Why is Dreams better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]
I grown into a young man, full of youth, enjoyment and had such a persona that I had the ability of standing out among a bunch of people, yes i was eccentric.
During my time of studies something happened to me that would last its mark to the rest of my life. I spent months in fear, months; in asking the question that why it happened to me the way i did, but there was no answer. My brain activated a survival response and i fell in love with fear, itself.
She was in my class. She was as fine and lovable as an Angel, i wanted […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
but .. she betrayed me … ! who is she … it’s life !! yup … it’s life …
i sow it .. a beautiful and loved it .. i wanted to live it .. i wanted to stay in it .. i didn’t ever wanna leave .. but it’s forcing me to !! i didn’t ever wanted .. it’s kicking me out .. like i am a ball ! why .. know i made many mistakes ! if god is watching he will know i’m not the only one .. alot of people had made many mistakes and many of them got the bless of […]
I really wanna go back to the psych unit because I fucking hate being in the real world because people expect things of me and when im there no one expects anything but for me to be sad and thats really all i can do and i hate people in my school because they dont understand how sensitive i am and i really wanna kill myself just to prove them a fucking point and no one understands me and just kinda laughs at the weird things i do when im trying to be serious and im just done being the only person in the whole […]
it could always get worse, and it did…my bf broke up with me because im a piece of shit and i need help, and im just bringing him down.
i deserve every inch of pain i’m getting, i’m a worthless peace of fuck and i’m too much work, i just bring the ones i love down, i make them hate me. but i deserve it. they need better than me. how could anyone love someone who doesn’t love themselves.
The time when I want to die the most is when I think about my friend MC. He kissed me twice, over a year ago, and I’m still so silently, painfully, in love with him over those unexpected kisses. They were unlike any experience I’ve ever had; I felt totally connected to him and complete within myself.
Now he’s getting married to someone else and we barely speak, and my marriage is falling apart for reasons other than MC.
The resulting depression is overwhelming and unbearable.
I keep searching from tarot cards to God to understand why I can’t get over MC, and every time the answer is simply ‘MC is not for you’. […]
when i say that i’m tired, i don’t just mean that i’m sleepy or strained; i mean i’m overwhelmed and at serious risk of going off the deep end.
i’ve done a bunch of stuff i’m not proud of, and i guess i don’t really wanna focus on that, but needless to say i’ve been in code red for the last two or three days; i’ve called the lifeline, mostly because i don’t know if i have friends who can stay up with me while i feel this way. but i reached out to a few close friends to see if they’ll help out.
…
update, they are […]