I’m here but, not all the way. I feel as if I am dying alive. Thye world is picking at my wounds. My cuts are being doused with ALCOHOL! I no longer feel as if, I am a human. I am hurting inside more than words will allow me to explain. I mutiliated my body again, I slash for each person who has hurt me. I Cant deal with this horrible pain. Shattered glass stabs me from within, I bleed an invisible blood. I drip sorrow from my eyes. Where has all of this anger come from, why are my dreams terrorizing my reality? Why […]
If I told you would you understand? If I told you what I’ve done, would you love who I am? I chose the wrong things in everything, choosing nothing in the end. Run, run, running away. Sleep, dream, waiting for the good just to fall into my hands. Love left me in its dust, lust drove by and picked me up. It forced me back to my feet by cutting out my heart and leaving my soul to die. I tried to find the answers in half truths, but they only told me lies. I tried to kill my pain but each cut brought it […]
I’ve felt the same way my whole life. When I see anything, hear anything, or think about anything in the world, it makes me feel pain and anger. I have no idea why.
I’m also angry at my parents for things they did that they no longer do. I hate my mom still for having always implied things, and for hitting me and telling me to kill myself and blaming me for my dad’s sickness and whatever. She doesn’t do it anymore, but when she tries to talk to me, I feel enraged. It’s uncontrollable. I just think about random things she’s done: and the […]
I did it, i got bullied and let my anger out but i didn’t cut, as everyone gets bullies but Everytime i usually do and cut, i faced it, i talk to more people and tell them my story :), i feel so open for once thankyou everyone on here for all your wonderful advise ! <3 xo
My name is Kyla. I am 15 years old. I think I will start this with a timeline.
June 11, 1997- Born
I was born in Calgary, Alberta. That’s in Canada for those of you who don’t know.
The first two years of my life were spent in my grandfathers house, located in a quiet and respectable community, as my parents were poor and couldn’t support themselves.
I was raised in a neighborhood that was known for its criminals. We lived in a run down townhouse. Â Our neighbors were drug addicts and whores. We even lived next to a crackhouse.
Police sirens were always wailing in the background, and it […]
I noted a reply to one of my earlier posts that stated I was not actually talking about committing suicide immediately or maybe that was never my intent at all. To this I reply, if you were around on the Suicide Project six to twelve months ago you would not think that. The only reason I did not finish the job was because I was evicted from my home of 20 years because I had lost my job and became broke very fast.
Prior to becoming homeless last April, I had my Final Exit all planned out and was only waiting for the best time…for me.
The […]
I’m about to fucking snap. I’ve been getting so angry lately, like to the point I want to fucking literally killy some one. Usually I can control myu anger but this dumb ***** has pushed me to the fucking point… My Mom wouldn’t help me and go over to her house and talk to that cun’ts mother and that ***** still wants to talk about me. Right Now it hurts to breathe, I’m so fucking angry. I’ve broken everything in my room. My knuckles are bleeding and I can’t take it. I have a whole bottle of benadril right next to me and I’m about […]
I don’t understand the person i have become anymore. I used to be so nice and so full of nothing but happiness. Now i just cry myself to sleep. Maybe it’s because my father died this September of a tragic accident. But i don’t think that’s it completely. I feel so pushed away i have 2 sisters and they’re so perfect they all always have straight A’s…and then there is me… with F’s and D’s. I have so much anger and hurt on the inside i just want to scream HELP ME. but of course no one is there… I’m trying so hard not to break. I […]
My life has always been messed up. The earliest memory I can remember was of my mum holding one of my arms and dragging my out the front door of my first home and my other hand reaching out for my dad who stood and watched. I was screaming and crying. I didn’t want to go.
I’ve lived in many homes since my mum and dad got divorced. And mum has had many boyfriends. One was Gavin who had a son. They were really nice at first but I got scared of Gavin. One day during one of Their arguments I was hungry so I […]
Not sure if thats necessarily a good thing.. I used to live on this forum a few months ago.. I don’t know what changed even. One day I just got confident. I thought I could finally live without these thoughts everyday. I don’t need this forum, I said to myself.
Well here I am again. Lower than I was months ago. I can’t handle this anymore. I have access to a gun now. That’s probably the one good thing about right now. Otherwise I’m completely broken. I just need him. why does god do this? ugh not even god why does MY HEART want him […]
Long story short, i am a 21 yr old lost nigga. Worthless, Raised and grew up Merely-fair .. did not suffer with any other crazy shit in my life. but it seems as if life is always a figurative climax. u bust your ass only to get a 2 second orgasm and even that itself is shit… Today me and my dad surprisingly had some argument, he gets my mom involved and they start talking shit.. i was always a low down depressed suicidal nigga and i always wanted and needed to off myself… i have history with drugs recreationally. but had i knew shit […]
I know I’m only 14, but the thing is that all this stress and anger I have is too much, and I can’t cope with it. I’m only on the first year of my GCSEs, and I still have so much more to go through, but the thing is…
…It’s not going to get easier than this.
When people ask me about my future, I smile and say I’ll go to university, get a home and start a family. But really, I can’t see myself having a future. I’m trying to tell people that I will have a future, when I’m not even planning to have one. […]
Hello! They say writing and sharing your experiences can be therapeutic, and in my case that is especially true. So, today I thought I’d take a moment to sit down and have a little chat with all of you.
My story really begins about 8-9 months ago. I was going through a rough time, I had just found out I have a lump in my spine. In the past years I have been diagnosed with:
Reynauds Disease
Fibromyalgia
Osteoporosis (in my neck)
Osteoarthritis (neck, again)
Heart Arrhythmia
Severe Insomnia […]
When I was in my younger teens… I was inappropriately touched. Lately, I’ve started to feel I guess, sexual urges. Every time I ever think about it I yell at myself, I feel so much pain in my chest, it feels horrible. I get angry sometimes and feel disgusting for even thinking of “it”. I’m unsure if it is normal. To feel so much hurt,disgust,anger, and pain. Just over something like thinking about.
I locked myself in my room for tree days now without food and water. I’ve been crying and thinking for these past 3 days. I locked myself because I got into a fight and mostly because I’m done. I’m done with everyone. Nobody understands me, I ask for help nobody gives me help. Everybody tells me the same thing everyday. My parents thinks i’m going through that teenage stage but actually its more then that. I’m sick of everyone.
I wish i wasn’t caught from those 3 times a tried to kill myself. I wish I was the one who died instead of my best friend […]
Whatever it might cost, a look into the future,
Forsaken but not lost,
Nor given in to torture,
Like noises in the wall, no one will notice,
You know you will fall
And drown in misfortune.
Crowned by the doom, you almost see it coming,
To stand or to give up,
You can figure nothing.
Then you retrace your steps, and when the world rejoices
You stumble back and forth,
You’re torn between the choices…
And the disaster gleams, beckoning the reverie
You’re dwelling into dreams
You know astral travelling,
Far away from scorns and senseless agitations
You’re breaking into thorns
Of […]
I’m a gun owner and literally every day I spend the day convincing myself not to pull the trigger. I’m a single mom that had a pretty crappy life. I’m adopted but the family who adopted me is crazy. My mother is the worst. I’m not sure exactly what is wrong with her mentally but something is definitely wrong. Not only have I wished myself dead a few times but she has too. I’ve always thought she hated me by things she would say and fights she would get in with my dad when he would defend me. She’s always been jealous of me because […]
Hey
This is my first time doing something like this. Not sure why I’m doing it, but yeah.
I’m 20 and live in England. Ever since I was young I’ve been different. I’ve always had a different outlook on life, and people, and so on. I try to be a nice guy, just like everybody else, but people never seem to do the same. I’m quite an anti-social person, so there’s that, but I always have time for people if they need me and never close the door on anyone – until they walk all over or something equally depressing.
Like most people on here (I imagine), I’ve […]
Yep. I do not know how much more I can take of life. I’ve about had it.
I feel like my problems are so minuscule compared to others and that it’s selfish for me to feel this way. It only makes it worse. I don’t try to be this way.
I’m a senior in high school this year. Supposed to be the “best year of your life”. Bullshit. Everyone sees me as a good kid that has everything figured out. Maybe because when I wake up every morning I put on a fake smile and act like I give a shit about life when honestly I could […]
Depression: don’t want to deal, don’t want to feel. Nothing. Just want it to go away. Feeling. Emotion. Love. I want to push it out of me. Down some rocky shore. Out into an ocean, an abyss anything to swallow this pain, make it gone, disappear. Be dead.
Not living. Not trying to. Just breathing, just beating, just thinking. Hate and anger. At me. I despise myself. I despise this life, this nothing. This pain. Accepted by no one, loved by no one, am no one. Empty. Shallow. Weak. Where is the purpose to live in that?