Goodnight sweetie.
Are there any monsters?
Nope.
In the closet?
All clear.
Under my bed?
Empty.
In my head?
Of course.
They want me dead.
I know.
Am I bad?
Of course not.
Then why am I sad?
Because.
Because what?
I don’t have an answer hon.
Well I’m all done.
Done with what?
The battle is over, the monsters won.
What do you mean?
They’ve already killed who I was.
I want to commit the gravest of all crimes, I want to kill someone…. myself; my last act on earth will be to murder thy self, my own self-destruction.
Why? Well, when life gets to a point where there’s no real pleasure left, just struggle, then surely it’s time to go. I see those around me having such a good life and as I approach 50 I feel the time has finally arrived. I know that if I keep going I will always live in the shadows wishing I was dead, I don’t want that, better to get it over and done with. Knowing there will […]
Which one hurts more? Being rejected or them not answering and ignoring you?
For me it’s not answering. With rejection you at least have an answer. You know they are not interested. But when they don’t answer what the hell does that mean? Are they repulsed by you? Do they not know? Did you scare them away? You have no clue what happened and you are thinking the worst. What did you do wrong? Are you not worth an answer? It’s a simple yes or a no… I don’t know is even better then not answering…What the fuck did I do to deserve no answer..?
Hi. It’s just me complaining and rambling again.
Someone I love nearly died a week ago from today. I had a person that I developed a friendship with the past year and a half. They helped me out a lot, and quite honestly they surprised me. But when I was in the emergency room and I called them and texted them that I needed them I got no answer. They never bothered to see how I was doing or what had happened. But they had the time to get on social media but couldn’t bother to reply to me. I almost lost someone I loved and I was alone there was no one […]
death,
it calls to me
I want to answer
but I am afraid
i know answering will be so much easier
than letting it ring
hearing that call
day
after
day
but people say not to answer
say to let death find you
instead of looking for it
Thats not a typo. Its something my grandpa used to say and I would try to answer it for hours. Some things have no answer. Sometimes no matter how hard you try you will never get the desired results. Somethings make no sense. Im tired of trying to find an answer and am now content just letting things be. Im in a rough spot right now, worse off than ever. I havent given up yet. Gimme another week though and we’ll see if I still have the strength to carry on.
All who are thinking about suicide as an answer…. before you have your attempt at it please do yourself a favor and get the book “The Reason” by Lacey Sturm. It may help you find perspective.
You might have thought that this post would be a motivational speech with a dash of positive psychology because of the title but sorry to disappoint, this is actually a rant.
So – I saw a screenshot of a Tumblr post on facebook where an anonymous user asked ‘What happens after I committed suicide’ or sth close to that. Then the person that was asked said things like: ‘You wanna know what will happen […] your mother will be heartbroken […] your father will be devastated to the point of speechlessness […] your younger sister will lost the person she looked up to—‘ You get the […]
This woman at work reached out to me and I told her that I have no desire to live. We had a chat about it and she seemed pretty determined to see me get better. She’s had her own issues with depression and wants me to go for the same specialized therapy that she went in for. And she wants to be my friend, it seems, because she’s talking to me a lot more and wants to hang out after work.
I feel so guilty because she doesn’t know how much of a lost cause I am. There’s no helping someone like me because I want […]
Hello guys 🙂 I just want to say that I am over with depression and that I believe that is something out there.I recovered my faith again. It’s impossible that a hardcore suicidal guy like I was to recover so quickly. God exists and it’s never too late. And I am not keeping this only for myself.
God dosen’t encourage laziness and dissapointment, you need to get up there and fight whatever the conditions are. God encourages work and being helpful with eachother.
So, go out there, get a job, pray, find a gf or a bf and you’ll see that everything will be allright. I am […]
Hi yesterday my husband came home late again when I called him he didn’t answer my calls so when he came I had locked the door so when I opened he started making noise at me when confroted him he told I had no right to ask him and their is no where was written that he only had to be with me n that I was also free to go out with whoever I wanted I got angry and asked if he wanted me to look for someone to take care and love me and my 4 kids he said that he was wondering […]
Second post. Spent all day yesterday planning my death if my trip abroad didn’t work out. Realised it was really bad.
Realised I have to go on proper meds or I will do it. Am not afraid of death but don’t want to fail at it and think the process would be uncomfortable.
Cried and cried and realised only answer was to get proper help. Went in first thing to docs to book an appointment and said it was urgent. The receptionist asked me how long I’d had symptoms and I said depression a long time suicidal a few months now. I thought she would realise this […]
I feel I can’t take this anymore. I failed exams, relationship, health, social life and bla bla bla. I feel miserable. I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m hopeless,pointless. 🙁 These days I’m at my lowest point. Helpless. Maybe suicide is the only answer. Thanks for reading.
I’ve been thinking seriously about suicide for the past three months… seriously being, thinking of ways to kill myself, with finality, I’ve been considering suicide for the past… two years? Nothing has really changed, but there seems to be a general discontent with my being alive, from my family. I’ve attempted suicide, several times… I took a key from my key ring, and sawed through my wrist, for over an hour… in several spots… this was my first real attempt, and the pain pretty much set me off… for two years, this attempt, is when I started looking at suicide as an answer… as salvation. […]
So, I watching pretty little liars with my sister right now, I have to be quick. If there are typos im sorry. So, I have been taking sertraline(Zoloft) for the last year, and I just forgot to take it the last week. I haven’t thought about suicide at all, and I looked it up to see if the medication had any effect. I couldn’t get a clear answer, so I’m asking now If Zoloft could have any effect on me. Thanks.
This is just a general question mostly because i can not find an answer anywhere and I though I could get some incite here. Is there a term for or does anyone know what someone would be called or category they would fall into if they had depressive and suicidal thoughts but did not believe in taking their own life?
I’ve decided to give peace to my weary soul and shed the shell of human self. I have spent so much time going in and out of the reality of human existence, to realms far beyond the soul. Death and Rebirth without intention. My soul is eternal but this flesh is weak and poisoned. Is there salvation for aching bones and tethered flesh? A mind decayed by substance, a soul that cries for renewal. “Feed me to the bliss of abyss” pleads my soul. When i open my eyes and I realize I am myself again and I look at my skin and I […]
I don’t want to do this anymore. Feeling like this is worse than feeling nothing. I want out so badly, but I can’t because I don’t want other people to feel upset. But I still want to die. Does that make me selfish? I don’t know. I don’t really know anything anymore. In class, we played Jeopardy, but the questions were about fellow classmates. Y’know, end-of-year bullshit to waste what’s left of our time. I remember seeing the answer to the question about me; the board said, “Who is Aurelia?” That’s a great question, and if it’s ever on one of my finals I won’t […]
https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html
An attitude is your evaluation of some concept (person, place, thing, or idea). An explicit attitude is the kind of attitude […]
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