I feel like the reason I like the suicide project is because I can write my true feelings. Â Usually I keep them bottled up. Â I know my dad has advanced diabetes and my mom just lost her mom and then her little sister and she feels helpless so I cant really tell them “hey I have serious depression, I lay in the fetal position and cry and wish for it to be over” Â That doesnt help them. Â So I try to keep going and then what happens my sister starts a fight with me over shit that has nothing to do with me. Â So I […]
Tag:
Attempt
I just need to get it out. I’m 30 in July. I’ve never once had a job. I’m mentally disabled but can’t get on disability. Everyone treats me like I’m trash not worth helping. I’ve been bullied all through school, treated like I’m scum by the government, and my own family looks at me with contempt.
All I do anymore is sit and cry. When I try to talk to anyone it’s always “What do you have to be depressed about.” I can’t afford to get help, the government keeps denying me help because my parents aren’t complete assholes, and every place I apply to looks […]
So I guess I’ll live up to it.
I attempted the exit bag method. I had two cylinders of helium, and an airtight bag with a good seal around the neck.
After what felt like a very long time, maybe three minutes minutes (I didn’t think to set a timer to catch a failed attempt), I thought: Wait, isn’t this supposed to cause loss of consciousness in 15 seconds? At which point I abandoned the attempt.
I’m not sure what went wrong. Maybe oxygen in the cylinders? It doesn’t confess to such on the tank. Too slow a flow rate, perhaps? The bag was full, the first 3 […]
hi everyone, i am from India. i have decided to commit suicide, this is it for me, I canot take it anymore. this life is very hard. i dont know how to kill myself. please help me, any easy thing i can do at home would be a great idea. also i live with my husband and inlaws. so i  cant have a failed attempt. please suggest something
False praise kills. Â I am told often that I am talented blah, blah blah. Â I can’t believe this. Â To do so would be arrogant. Â My inner circle does tell the truth. Â Significant other does not touch me because I am too fat for his liking. Â I was a size 00 when we met. Â I now wear a 2. Â He says he can only love me if I am thin and blonde. Â He says I am stupid. Â I’m in a doctoral program because at one time I wanted to prove to him that I was not as stupid as he says I am. Â Â There are […]
No one has any idea how completely suicidal I am. I know everyone out there must think I should get help. But I do not want help. I want to kill myself before anyone realizes I should get help. And now again, I know what you must think, well why would you be posting on a public forum? Well, I have just bottled up everything for so long without being able to tell a soul. All of my true feelings about everything have just been trapped inside me. I have to lie to everyone about everything all the time. It’s horrible. I literally refuse to […]
I cannont handle this. I am numb and everything hurts. My best friends  mom just broke his laptop on him so now we cant skype. I love that kid so much. My 16th birthdays in 4 days and I think march 1st sounds like a good suicide date. lets see what happens huh? I dont know anymore. my mind screams ” attempt. attempt. attempt. ” and I never have. Theres a first for every thing right? Ill try to OD and see what happens. I cant take this.  why am i suicidal? everything fucking triggers me and I am done.
Hey everybody, I’ve been here off and on for a month or two. First off, I’ve met a lot of really good people on here. I think most of us SP users are really soft hearted and it’s easy to click with other people here. I don’t know why I’m writing this because I’ve made up my mind and I’m not looking for support or crying out for help. Hopefully someone out there that also feels like shit will read it and maybe get something out of it.
I’ve lost 3 people this year and my cat that I had for 7 years (I count that […]
Do you ever wonder whether every human being has only one soulmate? What happens if you meet that person at the wrong time, in the wrong mental state, and you hurt him so irrevocably there is no way you will be forgiven?
My boyfriend, who was the only positive aspect of the last few years of my life, has left me, and there is no chance of him returning. I understand why he is gone. I acknowledge that I am tiresome, and that it is nearly impossible to love someone who loathes herself and lives in a constant state of misery. I acknowledge that I did […]
hey guys. i’m new here. but i just wanted to post i guess idk. but anyways. not last night but the night before i tried taking my life for the 20th time this month. tried slicing my neck. didn’t work… wasn’t strong enough. i just idk whats wrong with me… i just can’t do anything right or be happy i just idk.. my ex saved me… MY EX…like how pathetic… wtf is wrong with me..
Ok… I have made an attempt to hang myself few weeks ago and I did not have the courage to step down the chair I was on…. If only I could do it, I would not be suffering today. Yesterday, I started a blog where I write all I feel about suicide and my depression. http://notgosuicide.blogspot.ca/
I am so disappointed that I do not have support from my family (wife especially). She (like most of the people) does not understand that I am not selfish neither I do it in purpose to be such depressed. All she says is that she’s fed up and tired (ok, […]
Being completely alone…it sucks. All of my friends have pretty much stopped talking to me, and they never want to spend time with me. In that time, i tried to get closer to my family…but they would rather watch tv than talk to me. I turn 18 next month, and i’m pushing myself to go on, see if anything gets better after i move out and start college. But i doubt things will change. I keep asking myself “What’s wrong with me?”. I’m pushing myself to keep going because i don’t want to be just another teen suicide story. There’s been too many of those. […]
Death. Must be completely peaceful with no worries just soft waves of pure nothingness, I’m contemplating it once again, 2nd attempt hopefully my last. I want to die so badly it’s like that feeling you have when you really want a new tattoo or a new pair of shoes it’s all you think about that’s how it is for me and dying I want it and I can’t seem to think straight because of how much I want and need death upon me. But as with everything there’s an exception I don’t want death being FAT, I suffer from anorexia, and schizotypal PD and I […]
I go on this site, but none of my stories compare with the majority of posts here. I made a poorly planned attempt, I wish I had gone through with it, et cetera, but it makes me wonder, because there’s also that feeling of guilt when I am on here: What if someone kills themselves and I didn’t reply in time? What if I didn’t even try? I guess that’s the extremely selfish reason why I try to convince people not to kill themselves: I would feel too bad. Does that make me a bad person, and shouldI just hold that feeling in?
For the record, though, I lurk […]
All I have ever wanted is to be stunningly beautiful. Like Rita Hayworth or Marilyn Monroe. I know that’s terribly shallow, but honestly, I don’t really care. The only reason I have yet to attempt suicide for a third time in two months is because I want to wait until I achieve this goal. And then, I will try again. Because then, at least in my pathetic life I will have achieved something.
Why cant I be gone already? Why am I still here hoping for change when more terrible stuff happen? Why when i beg God to be dead the more bad stuff happen to me. I guess it just my bad luck. My life is to complicated right now but i keep holding on but then again there will be no change. But i won’t let go. No. Not now. Not when there are those few people that care so much. Not when i start feeling a bit of love. But then I can’t stop that thought. That thought that makes me hurt myself and i […]
Let me start by saying I’ve always had strong thoughts about ending my life I never thought i was good at anything especially life. Around middle school I started to realize how much I liked girls(I’m a female). I live in a everybody knows everybody town and for obvious reason kept it to myself. 7th grade was my first attempt but a sibling walked in and I was rushed to the hospital. Okay fast foward about high school I still had that idk why I’m here feeling but then I met sky she was stayed in California and me Texas we talked for hours […]
I know it may be naive but please attempt to listen to what i have to say
written by searching for hope
I wrote an essay on how to be happy and remain in that state of mind no matter the situations in your life. It basically focuses in changing your mental process. i believe that if we learn how to control our thoughts, we can control our emotions and actions. For example, if you catch yourself having bad thoughts, learn how to replace them by good thoughts. Its a long process but it can help you if you put effort into it and continue to practice it with patience and belief. Some of us have gone through the worst things in life, in fact, depression and […]
but got caught. if i were given 10 more minutes I would not be typing this. i am seeing a psychologist in an hour and a half and dont want to go to a hospital. i dont want to ever attempt to do it again.
any suggestions?  please??
tick tock tick tock.. the clock made it seem like life was passing so slowly. I sat there looking at myself in the mirror as the tears rolled down my face. Pill after pill I began to feel sleepy. I had the rope and knife next to me. I got sick over and over. the blood dripping down my sides never felt any better. As I fell asleep I was hoping I would never wake up again. but I did.