Are there any other ways to escape? Escape reality, and forget all this bullshit? I usually just sleep, but that’s not 100% enough, cause I wake up then can’t go back to sleep. I used to just watch videos but my phone is to slow, and if I keep going on my phone this much I’ll become legally blind. What other ways do you escape reality and forget about everything? I’m just trying to run away from my feelings. That’s all I can do at this point.
So…hey there. My name is Jayden…I’ve been on here a couple times, gotten help from some amazing people. Then I thought my depression and anxiety were gone so I selfishly felt I didn’t need to come on this site anymore. I’m sorry. That was selfish and rude and despicable in my opinion. But before I go on a 5 page rant on how much I hate myself, let me catch anyone who listened when I was originally here up to speed.
The girl who made my depression seem nonexistent dumped me.
I have effectively pushed all but 3 of my friends away
The last friend who helps me […]
It’s been a while but sadly i’m back here, anonymously telling the world my thoughts.
I made it a good two months through school without cutting. But i’m starting to act up again. Less than a month away till exams and as usual I can’t cope with the stress in my life. Everyday for the past 6 years I have thought about killing myself. Not once have i had a day of a peaceful mind. But it times like this, when i’m under to much stress that I can’t just push away these thoughts. Its times like this i sit on my bed starting at my […]
i am sick of loving people i will never have. it’s making me go insane. i need somebody that i like to like me back, for once. they never like me back. it’s always been like this, as long as i can remember.
I hate myself.
I think I’m falling in love with a very close friend, who doesn’t love me back, naturally. But she doesn’t know it.
At the same time, I’ve been sort of in love with my best friend, who, of course, doesn’t love me back in that way. But she doesn’t know it either. She is in love with a guy who also is in love with her. But he’s an idiot.
Still, he knows… I’ve never talked to him ever, but somehow he knew instantly that I’m in love with the 2 other girls I mentioned. I don’t know how. He just knew it […]
I was one of those book worm nerds who started college a virgin up untill then and during all my teenage years i had never had any girlfriends, flings, hook ups……. nothing……
Fast forward to my very first semester in college, most of my class was at the library working on research group assignment.
I was standing bent over the table my group grabbed , when a female classmate gently stroke my back, now there was absolutely nothing sexual, intimate flirty about it she was just grabbing my attention to hand me a book i had asked for.
But the moment she touched me i mean it was […]
There isn’t a day that passes that I don’t think of ending my life. I continue to live for my family, although latley that reason doesn’t hold as much weight as it used to. I feel like all I am is a burden for them. I’ve tried my whole life to succeed and be a positive person in this world but it just seems I can’t catch a break. I’m on my 4th hip surgery and I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I’m in such a dark place and have been here before. I’m tired of the fight. […]
I’ve been so drained . And it seems like sleep isn’t helping at all. When I got out of class at 3:00 i came home and went to bed and just now woke up.. It’s 10:27 pm. I feel like shit still. I think I should just go back to sleep. I waste my life away … I never do anything else because I mentally and physically have no energy . I don’t eat anymore beside I’m not hungry. I am just exhausted. Thanksgiving is in a couple of days and I don’t even think I wanna be around for it. I don’t want to […]
There’s no other way to say it. I’m just slipping. I’m slipping very fast into the void and I don’t know how to stop it. I can feel it happening. My emotions are starting to change. They’re growing. I can’t even explain it. I know what’s going to happen and I don’t know how to stop it. I want to cry. But I don’t do that. I’d rather just die. I’d rather die than go back to the way I used to be. I’d rather die than admit how I feel. I’d rather die than try and deal with this all over again […]
Before I get into all the crazy stuffs, that’s been happening in my life… I felt like I needed to vent a little about love problems.
For some reason I’ve always had girls who were too good for me interested in me. Like these are my dream type of girls and they like me for God knows what reason, I am a really secluded and shy guy though, and I am Korean American.
Yet because of all these crazy things happening in my life that has some to do with religion, I always bottled myself out from the outside world, since I changed starting at 17 or […]
I’m back again in SP, well, of course. Never actually left. I’m in a strange mood in a bad way so I think this will be a ranting post of how undecided/unsure I am about some important things. Just going to number them, I like structure, haha.
I’m sure I should exit. This is the correct and logical decision for me. And I have some arguments that are pro and against which totally confuses me.
I can fail. Although my method is quite sure, there is always a chance. Most likely I will back out because survival instinct is a ..tch. Then it will be a huge […]
My mother just tried to force me to come out. And now I feel like shit.
I was talking to her about the possibility of me running the LGBTQ+ society at my college next year and she jumped down my throat, saying that I thought she was a terrible person, and that’s why I wouldn’t tell her. She says that I’m breaking the bond between us by keeping this from her and I’m deeply upsetting her by not talking about it.
You know what the most important part in all of that was?
HER
She didn’t care about what it was doing to me, being […]
His mask- it looked as though smoke had curled around his eyes and his nose, daring to rest atop his cheek bones. Rosy lips broke into a blinding grin as he saw me waltz toward him. God he was handsome. A mope of curly black hair, suntanned skin and eyes so blue you could lose yourself in them. His dapper tuxedo emphasized his broad shoulders, long legs and toned arms… this man was mine. He rushed towards me and lifted me from the ground, twirling me round and round till we were breathless with laughter and life. I itched to peel his mask from his […]
if you saw my last picture and you see this you will notice a huge difference . This is what depression will do. I don’t do my hair anymore or take care of my self . Because I honestly just don’t have the energy. I’m not even the quite bit happy in this. That is a fake smile . You might not be able to see my skin and how drained it looks . The circles under my eyes .
When my friend showed me this I […]
I am 18 and got kicked out by my mum the other day so I am staying at my dad’s.
I am the joke of the family, I have no job, left college and just want it all to end. The day I got kicked out I went back to cutting and can’t stop and emptied my pills.
I couldn’t do it but I wanted to so downed a dozen pills, I’m still here.
I think I am depressed and definitely have some issues and have felt this way for some time and just want my pathetic life to end.
So ehm, this is my first time here but I thought it’d be a good idea using this instead of bottling it all up to myself like I have done for years. Growing up wasn’t the easiest, well I’m still growing up but when I was quite a bit younger, my mum met this guy, who wasn’t the best for her, my brother or I, we all thought he was so lovely at first, but then things started to get bad, he became abusive every once in a while but then I turned into everyday. He would never hit me or my brother but it […]
So I have posted I fell in love for the first time with my ex boyfriend. He went to work one night and never came home and he had another gf. He blocked me everywhere and said he never wanted to talk to me or see me again.
Tuesday night he sent me a txt that said “?” I did not respond because it’s been so long but I did check and I was blocked by him but could get on his gfs profile. And they were still together and happy according to her
this morning I woke up to a missed call from him. I didn’t […]
Last year I was so lost, depressed and broken that I decided it was my time to leave this world. I wrote my letter, cleaned my room, grabbed the rope, jumped out my window and ran. I went into a forrest, began to tie the rope around the tree and then around my neck. In front of me was a massive empty, dark field. Behind me was a giant fence with houses behind it. I saw flash lights in the corner of the field in front of me so decided I needed to jump right away but then I heard a bang from above me. […]
This week was total darkness for me. .. Strugling alone. Every body i ask for help just turn there back on me. Now if you know me you will know i ask a question like how are you? and if you react badly like not so good etc. In withdrawal totaly…
2 days ago I did another search on ( yes call it lame) how to die.. F*¢k its difficult to die…
When I saw the post on coping skills from dawg. If he can over come it so can I.. Still have no way out or no reason to see hope, but I do […]
22nd April 2015. I remember is like it was yesterday but it feels so long ago. I was talking to a friend in the morning about you, asking if she had heard from you, telling her I was worried about you but at the same time was so proud of you for continuing to pull through. I was sitting in a managers fire meeting, Level 6, we had just been made chief fire wardens (a job that we did not want) and my phone light pinged on […]