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Emotionally blank

by Romanticide 10/18/2015

written by Romanticide

This is getting really difficult now.

I had a meeting with the crisis team last Friday, the lady was so lovely I just wanted to say “you could be this amazing person to someone who isn’t visualising themself jumping off a building right now”.

She said she was concerned. That the only thing holding me back from killing myself is the impact of who finds me etc. I’ve read too many things of train drivers who are emotionally scarred by someone jumping in front of them etc.

But it is something I am thinking of less and less as the overwhelming feelings of nothingness take over me.

I feel […]

10/18/2015 2 comments

Back from the hospital

by whydoiwantto 10/18/2015

written by whydoiwantto

I’m back home from the hospital. I combined a lot of xanax with alcohol but it didn’t work. Now I just feel weak and tired all over again. They gave me some sedatives so I just feel tired now. Tired and angry, angry at myself that I was unsuccessful. I feel no need to go on, no hope at all. I just want to disappear. I feel worthless because I am worthless.

10/18/2015 5 comments

Daily thoughts of suicide

by igotnothing52 10/18/2015

written by igotnothing52

Several times throughout my daily routine I have thoughts of wanting to die. Life is nothing to me anymore.
Let me begin with a little bio. I’m a 57 yr. old male. I have several health issues, I have anger issues. Directed to any one certain person? Well maybe god, if there is such a thing.
I was brought up believing in god, going to church, living the godly lifestyle, accepting that the so called god is in control of everything and everybody. So who else do I blame for my crappy life, yes I’m using “nice” words. I curse god daily, telling him what […]

10/18/2015 15 comments

Love

by secretz180 10/17/2015

written by secretz180

Ever since middle school I’ve always wanted a bf. Almost every night I would cry because I thought no one would ever love me. When I was 18, my best friend introduce me to a guy. We started emailing each other a lot. I get really bad anxiety but that one day I decided to meet him. He picked me up, all he wanted was sex. He kept pressuring me to do it so I felt like I had to. So I lost my virginity to him. He totally left me after that. I was heart broken and sad again. I met this guy on […]

10/17/2015 10 comments

Protected: Taste

by Trix 10/16/2015

written by Trix

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

10/16/2015 0 comment

Its a full time job staying here.

by SecludedDilemna 10/16/2015

written by SecludedDilemna

Im new here, and already after reading some of these posts I feel like I have found my people . haha. I dont know where to begin. Isnt that ironic? Since I dont know how to end it either? Man, Im funny.

Im a lonely, cowardice, self loathing 22 year old mother and wife who lives in a repetitive world that she oh so badly wants out of. Im very exhausted from living a lie.. Living to make sure to not step on my husbands toes.. I long for connection. I wont get it from him. When he attepmts, which is rare, it is forced.. I […]

10/16/2015 7 comments

Why

by hoshi 10/15/2015

written by hoshi

Have u ever looked around and seen people laughing, smiling, talking…. An ever thought why? Now, it’s an everyday occurrence for me. Why are they laughing. What could possibly be so funny that they laugh without a care in the world. Why motivates them to maintain that tiring position of a gin on your face. For me, I wear a mask. I don’t even know why I do. I smirk when I’m suppose to, don’t talk out of place, and listen quietly. Now I’m in my bathroom, tearing up, questioning my will to live and move on. Why are we even here. Why do we have to […]

10/15/2015 2 comments

i kinda already knew

by No_one_care 10/15/2015

written by No_one_care

So i have or i guess had a best friend who i considered like a sister but i feel like she didn’t feel the same. We have been best friends for three years. I think that the worst part about losing your friend is not losing them but feeling like you are losing them. I feel less important when she talks to other people. I know that i can be easily replaced. She is sooooo pretty and smart. I just already hate myself and i thought since we were in similar sitiation we would have EACH other back. But i guess not. I can not […]

10/15/2015 4 comments

If you love me you’ll kill me

by MissDysphoria 10/15/2015

written by MissDysphoria

I find myself waiting for the crosswalk light to turn to go, watching all the speeding cars fly by. I like to stand as close to the edge as I can and just imagine the feeling of stepping out into traffic, and the feeling of the impact of the first car to hit me. the only thing holding me back is the possibility of some how surviving that…and all those people watching…me. I was told it only gets harder from here. Right now is harder than I can stand, just kill me now, I hate life.

10/15/2015 1 comment

Coming Clean

by InhalingAnxiety 10/15/2015

written by InhalingAnxiety

I had an account on here before, which I started a few months back. A little over a month ago, I had an extremely bad breakdown that lead me to attempt suicide (I had been thinking of it for awhile but many little things pushed me to it). I posted on here to say goodbye to everyone and apologize for wasting their time in reading my posts and trying to help me. I didn’t see any way in my life recovering, since the stack of shit just kept getting bigger and masked the few good things I had left. I was obviously unsuccessful in my […]

10/15/2015 4 comments

Its hard.

by Cro0kedYoung 10/15/2015

written by Cro0kedYoung

I live with my mum. I don’t speak to my dad much. He ruined my life, quite literally. I wont go in to detail, but he destroyed my childhood, which still seems to be effecting me now, at 15 years old.

He turned up at my house the other week, dragging so much of my past back up. I haven’t spoken to him properly for over a year now, and he had the cheek to tell me, his daughter that he doesn’t know and hasn’t known for over 6 years, that I’m depressed.

I mean, I personally think there’s something along the lines of that there, but he […]

10/15/2015 5 comments

Futility

by Eureka 10/15/2015

written by Eureka

Today I just watched and wondered why I had to wake up. Why get up? Good god, just another one of these days. I realized the normalcy in my life just kind of went away.

I just feel like hell, trying my best in all my work but I just can’t seem to get the grip or get that motivation back. Everything still just seems to kind of died out. things just seem so gray, I can’t find the color in my life like when I was a kid. I realized one of the sources of my problems though. Its that I’ve associated normal behavior and […]

10/15/2015 3 comments

I have two kids and I shouldn’t be depressed.

by angelofperception 10/15/2015

written by angelofperception

I have two kids. I had them young. I am in college. I live in a trailer. I don’t have contact with my parents. I have overdosed once in my life, years back. I was sent to the hospital and there was a series of events. I feel low, just as low as before. I feel like a bad mom for being so depressed. I feel overwhelmed, I hate my life, I hate being alive. I love my kids but I feel bad I don’t love them enough to want to stick around. I don’t want to live. I really don’t. I have almost no […]

10/15/2015 2 comments

recovery …

by jadedkeizy 10/13/2015

written by jadedkeizy

On fluoxetine. Loss of appetite and constant buzzing in my ears aside, my anxiety has subsided and breathing is bearable. I am supposed to take these meds for 2 weeks after which I’ll go back to see my therapist to assess my condition. What’s your experience with fluoxetine??…. That’s my sad depressed face.

10/13/2015 10 comments

by TheLoner2 10/12/2015

written by TheLoner2

i tried again today, but i still didnt cut deep enough. one day ill get it done i just have to keep working up the courage. i cant live like this anymore and no one will help me, people just want to make it worse. nothing else is really on my mind just plans to commit suicide. i have three, 2 i can work on while im here. one i have till the end of the month, then i wont have a choice (like i ever did). i cant go back to that place i have to die, because i know i cant stay here. i […]

10/12/2015 2 comments

You’re a good person. I want to communicate with you.

by freedomseeker 10/12/2015

written by freedomseeker

I feel awkard, because I’m drunk. I can’t cope with the love I feel for you. I just can’t. BEcause you’re a good person. The kind of person I’d like to meet. The kind of person I’d like to know. But the kind of person I won’t know. The kind of person I can’t know. And I’m just feeling… I can’t stand it anymore. Loving people that can’t and won’t love me back. Loving people I see so much beautiful things, but who won’t see it too. I just can’t. I know my grammar’s not perfect, sorry dudes, I’m drunk. Tomorrow, I’ll see you and […]

10/12/2015 13 comments

My head is in such a weird place right now

by ellarh 10/12/2015

written by ellarh

I thought I hit rock bottom this weekend. I could barely get out of bed, and I didn’t do ANYTHING I had to do, no work, just staying in bed and watching movies I really didn’t care about. I tried to reach out for friends, but literally none of them wanted to go out, and it made me feel worse. Rejected. I was on the edge, thoughts about suicide invading my mind and I couldn’t control my crying.

I woke up today feeling completely different. I’m not that sad anymore, just numb, as if everything I’ve been feeling for the past three days is something really distant. […]

10/12/2015 1 comment

Positivity Post!

by Take a Deep Breath 10/12/2015

written by Take a Deep Breath

Sorry my loves that I haven’t been posting a positive challenge daily, but I am back at it! Today’s question is: What is a character trait you love about yourself, and what is one character trait you would love to change? Good luck my loves 🙂

10/12/2015 11 comments

suicide

by anthropophobia 10/12/2015

written by anthropophobia

I am considering it with true intention this time, I really am. The things I am dealing with cause me endless stress, and truly weigh on my well being. I am not sure yet though, I just need to see what the next months ahead hold for me. The happiness I have been experiencing lately isn’t overriding the urge the way it was before. The urge has grown and become progressively more persuasive as I linger in fear and depression. Not to mention the idea of admitting failure. Moving in with a relative is something I simply refuse to do. I know that sounds pathetic, […]

10/12/2015 4 comments

We?l im fucked

by ismedyl 10/12/2015

written by ismedyl

Been a while since I posted here… I bought a gun I put it in my mouth and I wanted to pull the trigger but I couldn’t. Anyway at that point I started to see the lighter side of things and now I’m back to the dark and I’ve hit deep space black hole dark. I got a loan for 2500 a month and a half ago and my intention was to go see a woman in Canada that I used to mess around with… You know because we both still have feelings for each other. Well I blew that money at a strip club. […]

10/12/2015 3 comments

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