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Less than hope

by New Shoes 6/26/2014

written by New Shoes

I am at the point I have already done everything I wanted to. That is within my reach anyway. Hope? For what? I have no family and don’t want one, working is hardly a reason to stick around. That’s all I do.

I love the sand and sea, but not enough to stay and I hardly doubt they will miss me.

Even at the end of a dream vacation thoughts of suicide start coming back out of their hiding place.

I have tried shamelessly to connect and create a life for myself and it just isn’t enough. The only thing I am proud of is how […]

6/26/2014 3 comments

From Ashes

by RealTalk30 6/26/2014

written by RealTalk30

Yesterday is over..

Yet in the blink of my eye there is still rebirth from the bitterness. There is still hope beyond hopelessness. There is a light!
To late to drown far off the shores from where we’ve been..the tide has turned back to us, and will bring us home
Never to be blinded by the salt of promise, and never to be forgotten!
Wind, breath, earth and my strength rise up in times I need it so desperately.. In times others need it the most!
Turn fire to the darkness and take comfort in its glow. Bring reason to your will, and to mine. Never […]

6/26/2014 25 comments

From dizzying heights to deepest ditch

by Bloodboil 6/26/2014

written by Bloodboil

Life. This never ending charade of lows marred by a few high points. Here I am once again and no, I do not feel good. I put up one heck of a fight but it wasn’t enough. Rather it was against the wrong opponent. I slaved away, hacked every piece of work to tiny shreds and earned my vacation. Achievement? Yeah probably but it did nothing to make me feel better. Quite the opposite, my slaving away left me in an all too common spot in life. All the friends i had graduated and because i dedicated everything to work. I turned invisible, uninteresting again. […]

6/26/2014 1 comment

by Jay 6/26/2014

written by Jay

I’m walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind. Don’t get too close it’s dark inside, it’s where my demons hide: drink until they stop screaming your name. I’m down to my last drink, time to sell my things. Pack my bags and never look back. Run a parallel line with the railroad tracks. Make my getaway. How the hell did it end up like this? Why wasn’t I able to see the signs that I missed and try and turn the tables? I would stand in the wind, I was free like water flowing down under the warmth of the sun. […]

6/26/2014 1 comment

pr4y me

by Bisban 6/26/2014

written by Bisban

Sands of hell, here at the end. Pray for me, everybody.
I am the Ho-Oh, and nowhere to land. The faith, is dying.
My name is dead Ash C’atchem, here in the belly.
My totem pokemon is the muk. My cherry pick was a bulbasaur.
Here, in the world. The journey, there is only one.
A venomoth flew in my eye today, I think that was good luck.
I will catch you next time, venemoth, and butterfree.
Man, life could be so beautiful, if simply so. Heal me.

A journey toward celestial, my name is dead Ash C’atchem.
The entire lower hands, my fated. My totem, […]

6/26/2014 1 comment

Day 4

by kem67 6/26/2014

written by kem67

Still angry at myself for going back on my promise of no water. I’m going to probably what’s seemingly rambling but I need to get things off my chest. I got a message asking me about medications. I’ve been doing medications since I was in my early teens and NONE of them have helped they just leave me walking around like a zombie. Its amazing how many people can use the word “unstable” towards someone and not realize how much that word can hurt. Truthfully, YOU never knew of my bi-polar disorder, why? because I”M FUCKING ASHAMED of it. Then people use that word that […]

6/26/2014 2 comments

Quietly being overwhelmed.

by nias 6/25/2014

written by nias

I suffer from depression, paranoia and loneliness, I really hate this life I lead,
there just seems no point to it, why do others have lives that they enjoy while I
struggle to get my backside out of bed each day. I dislike confident people most,
those who push themselves forward at the expense of others, I’m being swamped by them,
my voice drowned out. This guy at work is like those people, he thinks he’s so great,
always talking about himself and his wonderful life, I’m sure he talks about me to his
mates behind my back. I wish, and I may be pushing […]

6/25/2014 1 comment

Try to understand…

by PainNlife 6/25/2014

written by PainNlife

I didn’t ask for any of this. I was born and my path was thrust upon me. I am not looking for your approval or sympathy because I simply no longer give a fuck. I hate people. I started out as a kid does; Innocent and gullible. I didn’t realize that I would be despised by family and friends for recieving gifts that I DID NOT ask for. I don’t believe in evolution but I am not religious in any manner. I was probably the MOST DEPRESSED PERSON on this site a few years ago. I have been here a while… I hate life and […]

6/25/2014 3 comments

Hi

by my time is up 6/25/2014

written by my time is up

Hi guys,

I’m a 30 y/o male from the uk. Been suffering with depression for many years, mainly stemming from my upbringing. I’ve treated those close to me badly in the past, always pushing everyone away. I know my problems on here are nothing compared to others, but I feel I’m at the end of the road. I met the most fantastic girl 2 years ago and lived my life to the fullest with her. We was both so happy. But yet again I manage to ruin it, just like I’ve done with everything else. I’ve tried everything and hung on for as long as I […]

6/25/2014 8 comments

there is no coming back from this

by hopeless and alone 6/24/2014

written by hopeless and alone

So the past few days have been hard anyway……I forgot to take my lithium….the bad thoughts were relentless. And then I find out that my husband cheated on me with this whore. ….again. and then he told me he wanted a divorce. Bad thoughts in overdrive. I took a couple klonopin and lay down but I can’t sleep…….I feel like such a failure. What did I do wrong this time? I have tried so many different meds, hoping one will work. I have been on the unit, in partial and aftercare…..trying to get better, trying to make it work. And now, there is no reason […]

6/24/2014 1 comment

My first post on my suicide attempt..

by Love1241 6/23/2014

written by Love1241

Well lets start with this. My first suicide attempt was when i was 12, its only gotten worse from there. I was so horrified from even the thought of ever wanting to hurt myself. Then my mind just got so damaged with my own horrible thoughts. I tried to hang myself with a belt in my bedroom when no one was home. Back then no one knew about my depression. Not my family, friends, no one. Yeah, life sucks, right?

6/23/2014 4 comments

Wednesday is The Day

by ClairDeLune 6/23/2014

written by ClairDeLune

So some of you may remember one of my earlier posts where I talked about my jogging group and this girl I talked to. Even though the first time it was pretty awkward, we had some nice conversations over the last few times. And she even smiles or laughs sometimes when I say something funny (at least when I say something, I don’t say a lot though). And sometimes she falls back or speeds up to run next to me even if we’re not saying anything. And she always smiles and says good bye after the jogging. I know I suck at interpreting those “signs” […]

6/23/2014 18 comments

Walking Dead 1

by Teaks 6/23/2014

written by Teaks

I first had thoughts of suicide when I was six years old. I don’t know why or what triggered it. I just remembered, that there were reports of people committing suicide by jumping off buildings in the newspaper, and I was, for some reason, unhappy, and wanted to hurt myself.

I remembered bashing my head on the tiled floor of my room, then climbing up on a high chair and jumping off, hoping I’d snap my necks when I land.

I remembered banging my head on hard walls, like I am trying to silence screams filling up my head.

I remembered being at school, unhappy. My classroom was […]

6/23/2014 0 comment

Lethe

by Iriega 6/23/2014

written by Iriega

Hello again. It’s been a long time, three or four years I think, since I was last here. I’m grateful for the rest at least.

I’ve fallen back into old thoughts, old habits. It’s scary how easy it is. Maybe ‘comfortable’ is the wrong word but it’s so … I don’t know it’s like shrugging on that threadbare jacket at the back of the closet the one you never wear in public but the one that makes you feel right. And the pressure is held back for a time because I know how to work within these boundaries, these battle lines are familiar. It’s me against […]

6/23/2014 3 comments

Arise, Calypso

by Bisban 6/23/2014

written by Bisban

Seeking the land, Ouroboros clan.
Planet going down, planet going down.
I am that I am, the one that I seek, am I the only.
Do you understand, in the hands of faith, Salvation.

All that I can say, is to repeat myself.
Vowed to celestial, a beast of hell.
My asphyxiating spirit, it hurts so much.
Forsaken, they call them the ‘Morlocks’.

From underground, one day, they escaped to the island of Genosha. A promised haven for the outcasts of the world, but it was a trap. There, they were captured and held prisoners as enslaved fugitives unable to reach back out to the world. It […]

6/23/2014 0 comment

Cutting again .Broken Promise .Need Advice

by Vengeance Sevenfold 6/23/2014

written by Vengeance Sevenfold

So this girl and I went out and we both have a hard life alcohol, I smoke weed, I have abusive parents always bullied we broke up but remained friends we both cut she saved my life because when I met her I was planning suicide we both started cutting again after the break up and we promised each other we wouldn’t cut again and I told her if she cuts then I will to. Two weeks ago she broke the promise she cut and so later that day I to did to all in this day she told me she loves me she told […]

6/23/2014 1 comment

I can’t get rid of psychological pain

by SGR 6/22/2014

written by SGR

I’ve recently moved to a new place, in a new state, away from all of my precious people. I can no longer afford my depression medication, and that, combined with the loneliness, anxiety, and feelings of unworthiness are pushing me to a point I’ve never experienced before.

It hurt so intensely earlier today that I cut my thighs to bloody ribbons, but not even that helped ease my pain. I can’t go back home, because to do so would only add a financial burden onto my family’s already burdened shoulders.

I know I can’t kill myself yet, but I’m afraid. I’m thinking of it more and more, […]

6/22/2014 2 comments

Ive Lost Everything

by nowhere2go 6/22/2014

written by nowhere2go

Its been a year now since my wife and I seperated. We have two beautiful children whom I adore very much. I moved here almost 10 years ago from another state after a string of failed relationships. I met my wife and married her almost eight years ago. It was great in the beginning, but first come children and then financial worries and somewhere along the way we began to grow apart. She left me for another man and when that didnt pan out she still felt she was better off without me. Now I have to work constantly to pay my bills and give […]

6/22/2014 5 comments

Life is beautiful but you don’t have a clue…

by alina_01 6/22/2014

written by alina_01

I love you truly do deep down I just try my best not to feel it anymore. I know that we messed up equally that neither of us is solely to blame for this disaster. But I feel like I could have been better, tried harder, supported you more. I didn’t mind hurting myself or loosing myself but loosing you the idea of hurting you it kills me. Because I can accept failure in any other aspect of life just not with you. So to be honest I’m not ok, I’m not happy, I lied about everything that I’ve said. I do want you still, […]

6/22/2014 1 comment

Music and me

by nias 6/21/2014

written by nias

I often wonder if listening to depressing music is good for me by giving me something to hold on to or just serves to increase my sadness. I remember, even as a teenager, preferring that kind of music to the more upbeat and cheerful tunes, I listened to both but the darker lyrics seem to speak to me much more than any other. I remember a tune that really got to me back then, the lyrics about loneliness and isolation touched me and hearing it twenty five years later, they still do. I’ll continue to listen even if it has, perhaps in a small way, […]

6/21/2014 4 comments

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