There is this man who once abused my sister at age 13. This man had never laid a hand on me. Then one day, my sister did something that got her sent off. This man had no one to take his anger out on… he wouldn’t touch two innocent young boys, or a fragile schizophrenic mother, no he went for me, the broken, depressed child. This man has called me many things, *****, dumb ass, liar, mother fucker, slut… This man one day got mad and took me and slapped my face, then slammed me up against the wall, which was with such force […]
Tag:
Bitch
Hello there, The angel from my nightmare, The shadow in the background of the morgue….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
I have breakdowns. Because I have mental health problems. And these breakdowns are quite possibly some of the scariest things I have to endure. I don’t get a choice, They can happen at random. And yeah, Sometimes I want support.. So I attention seek. But considering at all other times all I am trying to do is make others happy, I thought people would be able to let that go.. But no.
I’m fucking sick of this. The world is a cruel selfish *****, Just like me probably. I know most of you have thought that before.. I wanted to stick around for the good things […]
I am so depressed right now that it almost hurts to breathe. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. I want somebody to hold me so I can cry o. Their shoulder like a baby. But I can’t cry. I have a dam built up inside me to keep my emotions from showing. It has held up well so far, but dams break, and I’m scared of what will happen when my dam breaks.
Nobody understands me. Nobody knows how I really feel. No one knows how depressed I am or that I am constantly having to deal […]
is full of people. but many i met have all turned against me. there is something wrong with me…BUT IDK WHAT IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i always had these thoughts of how i know this is not me everything happens for a reason right? well my thought now is if i never moved from california to idaho i would be sweet and innocent but im not….im actually a ***** but people dont see that…especially people here on SP. for example someone was joking around with me in class yesterday and i didnt think of that til i came unglued that he talked to me…SEE WHAT I MEAN???????? […]
I’m just going to write and I’m not going to bother writing well. I know I will die of suicide, I just know it, since i was 12 i had a bet on with myself that i wouldn’t make it past nineteen, so just two years to go and it should be over. I’m not even going to bother going through all the shit I have been through, starting when i was four years old, and yet i tell people it all the time for the joy of seeing their faces. I’ve been raped and abused both sexually and emotionally (suprisingly the emotional abuse is […]
So, I’ve got six more days till my suicide.. part of me can’t wait, and part of me is just.. like.. wow.. I don’t know what to do.. I’m still trying to find my ideal way.. but I kind of want it to be spur of the moment. I’ve debated many things. so.. yeah. But.. anyway.. I.. I feel really bad.. I’m being so mean to everyone.. so terribly mean.. because I want them to be able to let go of me easier.. to just think.. oh, she was a *****, and deserved it anyway. Maybe it will help.. I hope so.. anyways.. I […]
I lost myself in his eyes, I even told him I would marry him and have his baby. It wasnt good enough for him. He found love somewhere else, yet im the *****, im the WHORE, crying alone in the corner. Ive been a shattered jar for years and its never enough to have me apparently, I agree with his malice. Ive taken 27 pills and im really hoping that it works this time, I want to make him happy by saying goodbye. Im no longer a barbie doll, im no longer the apple of his eye. I love you Dean, see you again someday […]
I was the only child,who wasnt a only child who felt lonely wow youtube-JOELL ORTIZ “125 PART (FINALE)”
So basically, right now, I really do not see the point in me living any more, trying any more, even breathing anymore.
It all started to happen, when on day, my so called ‘bestfriend’ (Let’s call her beth) pretty much decided to stop liking me. But, i NEVER did anything to her.  I never bitched about her, never betrayed  her, I was a true best friend. She started telling a few people she don’t like me. Those people are my close friends, so they told me obviously. Now, I don’t have twitter, but she does. My other best friend (let’s call her Amy) does have twitter, […]
so the ***** is at a friends house..YIPPEE!(: had the night to myself. the first night in weeks i gotta walk around the house not worying what my sister would do to me. normaly, i leave a room and she screams. the other day she beat me with a hanger for stepping out of her room to change a song on utube im supposed to watch her clean her room not focus on music…anyways she comes home in a few hours…DAMN but a plus side: mom outa the house today (***** is nicer when its just dad home). i wish my morning can last forever […]
Why would she.as in i ve got noting to offer so why would anyone want to come to me jst to hurt me..i loved her yes i did.bt she was so filled with lies and she does a very bad job of making her lies sound real..i just dont know why everybody is leaving me for somebody else..she was the only thing that kept me going.but tanx to mr kharled.i wont be needing this life of mine anymore.she left me long before i even knew.bt i dnt care.and i aint taking my lyf bcus of any *****!.st.lesswill lives on
My depression started when I was around 6 years old. Â It started when I was sexually abused by my cousin and his dad. At the time I didnt know what was wrong and what was right, how could I? I was just a little kid. All that ended when I was 13 years old. The sad part of my story with them is that their family is seen as the perfect family. All the kids in that family were well mannered, smart, went to good schools etc. I never told anyone what happened, because….. I didnt want to hurt my family, and I didnt know […]
omg, so the ***** and i r home alone, she tells me to do HER chores. well i did them for her the past 3weeks im tired of it. so i said no then she threatened to beat me with the belt,so i tore it out of her hands and pushed her to the ground. she screamed “ABUSER ABUSER!”and called 911!!! omfg! ***** r u fucking stupid. luckily nothing happened but still she is so stupid. well yeah i hate her. think shes an angel? hang around her. she is a *****. SHE IS SATANS ***** DAUGHTER. she can go to hell. its her home.
why why why why why why why WHY FUCKING WHY!? are you so mean. i asked u for my mascara back..so u chuck out your door and it hits me right in the eye. it hurt seriously like fuck. u look at me and say “aww is poor baby ganna cry? what a loser” then u grab a belt and beat me with it. “hahahaha now u can cry over that” which i was. “yay yay! your in pain. this is my favorite day ever!” my mom: yeah she’s just watching all this and laughing. oh oh oh..and u pushed me into the wall and […]
Stupid memories leave me alone
No one cares
So stop
Angel doesn’t care as well
It’s too late
If he cared he would have answered he’s phone already
He would have texted Shadow back
He would have replied to his email
He already told Shadow to stop worrying about it
Shadow already know it is too late
Only thing to do is give up the fight
Shadow has to surrender this friendship.
Shadow understands
Angel doesn’t want to be friends anymore
Shadow knows her faults
Always be her fault
She should leave now
Angel doesn’t care
Reality is a *****
But Shadow really does understand
She hope to understand
She tried
But its too late
I’m sorry
I have failed you
You were a great friend
Actually might have been a great; best friend
My lack of tenacity to anything and everything applies I guess just as well to my suicidal thoughts. They come and go but they are never enough to make me actually do anything. Its more a coping thing. It has been a few months since I have felt this low and un-like reality, when I ***** about my petty white kid problems you all kind of listen. Which is cool so I can keep my crazy priviate and un-identified. Since I am obviously to ***** to do it I have decided begrudgingly take on reality head on for thirty days. Thirty days just giving it […]
When I was a happy girl with no trouble everyone said they loved me, everyone wanted my company, but I started falling down, I didn’t do anything wrong it was just “life being a *****”… now I’m so alone… When I said to my friends “I’m sad” I cannot do this anymore” they freaked out and their only answer was: “Stop being so negative” “Don’t ever talk like this again”
So I come here… Lovely poem @sleepykarie91, nothing worst that the feeling of your friends  throwing you to oblivion
Well this is it the end of the line for me at only 15 year old and I can’t naturally smile or laff I’m now an alcoholic and a drug abuser messed up and I hear voices in my head so I am going to end it before I turn into a phsycho ***** and kill someone if I kill me then it won’t be a big deal I have no family or friends will anyone realise I’m dead I don’t know and don’t care I have got to the point where I don’t care if I live or die it will feel the same […]
i hate my life!! i don’t see the point in this world. maybe this is hell… seem like it is bc most people have to understand that they have to shut their fucking mouths bc it hurts other people way to much. people need to know what it is like to live lives like us. we need to teach them all the hell they are putting us threw. all i want to do is die the only thing that keeps me hear is my mother. my ex best friend just has to be a ***** to me and that makes me depressed even more. if she hates me so much why doesn’t […]
wells, idk what to call today, good or bad? its a cross. yeah but more lows then highs unfortunately. i have a weird feeling to cut, i cant, gotta be strong. its been 3 weeks why break? idk i thought i was doing so well. i was wrong. i fake it too well. now here i am falling apart. im becoming me. and its showing. my wall is tearing down. im becoming uncovered. idk what i want, god im crazy. im so messed up. im losin it. ugh why? me? ugh. sad? lonely? happy? together? mad? slow? fast? nice? a *****? idk what i am. […]