Tag:

Break

Say it with me now:

by tphg 6/22/2012

written by tphg

I am not my body’s reaction to the outside world.

Because I feel it does not make it real.

Pain is an indicator of injury much like an alarm sounds to alert of fire; pain is not personal.

I am stronger than the machine I operate; when it breaks down, I do not break down with it.

When it rumbles, slows, trundles, sputters, I conduct maintenance and nothing more.

My body is the machine, I am the operator. Its pain is not mine. Its biological desires are its own. Its limitations do not bind me.

I am something else.

6/22/2012 1 comment

i.miss.you

by loveless1189 6/21/2012

written by loveless1189

Amy, its been 3 years since your passing and I want to leave you a message but never knew where without being ridiculed and questioned whether or not I’m not ok. I was thinking of the day we me so young and carefree I was hopeless and depressed when you met me. That changed so quickly I suddenly had purpose for everything I had a reason to like myself and to like the world around me. I still have your glasses from freshman year safely perched next to the last picture of us, the last time I didn’t fake my smile, the last time […]

6/21/2012 1 comment

I am Nothing.

by JustWhyMe 6/20/2012

written by JustWhyMe

Tonight I sat in the mirror and told myself how worthless I was how nobody has never and will never love me, Something inside said to end it, I had a bottle or alcohol and a bottle of pills i picked them both up popped a pill in my mouth and thought for a second why do I have to feel like this why do I have to want to take my own life ? Because nobody understands ? Because the nights are sleepless ? because im alone ! Nobody cares i kept saying nobody ever dd just end it ***** , your […]

6/20/2012 8 comments

I Exploded Again

by alance 6/18/2012

written by alance

There’s no way to even really describe this. My god, all I wanted was to convey the terrifying EXPLOSIVE power of what happens within me, but I’ve no idea how.

I get angry. Or rather, perhaps I’m always angry, it just get buried nice and deep until I’m numb numb numb numb numb numb

And then everything starts combusting within me. And all I want is to SCREAAAAAAAAM. But I never do. I never do. It’s always just an internal internal scream of despair or anger or sadness or loneliness or DISGUST. Oh yes, a word I know well. Absolute, vile, putrid, festering, poisonous DISGUST. At people, […]

6/18/2012 2 comments

I had so much to say, but no one to listen.

by Thecurefridayiminlove 6/14/2012

written by Thecurefridayiminlove

I push people away when I’m afraid, because I don’t think they could ever handle my feelings, I’m still trying.
Have you ever had one of those days, when you just hate everything? And even dropping your pen makes you want to break down and cry?
I always feel as if I treat people right, I strive to make sure the people I love are alright, even the ones that hate me. But have you ever had someone that continues to tell you that they dont deserve you? or they just keep rejecting your love? but they still stick around. It confuses me, do you […]

6/14/2012 1 comment

What do I feel like dying inside

by Kieylee102 6/10/2012

written by Kieylee102

Why is it that when anything bad happens to me the first thought that comes to my head is killing myself. No matter what I do I feel useless and in the way. Or that I’m putting some weight on someone to help me. I just want to close the door to that past, but everytime I try to do that I end up cutting off from everyone in my life. I don’t know if I do it so if I break down they don’t see what I’m going through and try to help me. Which in turn would cause me to open that door […]

6/10/2012 0 comment

And that I’ll fight my corner, Maybe tonight I’ll call ya, After my blood turns into alcohol, No, I just wanna hold ya….

by Nat.... 6/7/2012

written by Nat....

So… Hi Guys :3

I know, It’s been a while. And quite a lot has happened… :/ I don’t know whether or not I have told you that my mental health has gotten worse, But hopefully going to see a doctor about that… Finally get the crazy diagnosis. :/

So, My birthday was good :0 so **** in fact that i decided not to kill myself, If I could I would.Â Things just got worse after that, I got into a relationship with this guy called Aarron. But in the four days D: that i was with him it made me realize how much I love my […]

6/7/2012 2 comments

when i was a little girl…

by justwannahelp112 5/26/2012

written by justwannahelp112

when i was a little girl i was happy
i didn’t think anything could hurt me
didn’t know about the world just waiting to destroy me

when i was a little girl i was innocent
i didn’t break rules
didn’t go looking for trouble
not like i do now

when i was a little girl i had many friends
i made friends very easily
everyone wanted to be my friend
that is no longer the case

when i was a little girl i knew what i wanted
i knew i wanted to have a family
a good job. someone to love and care for
now im not sure

when […]

5/26/2012 1 comment

Sorry guys, but I can’t help myself feeling lonely

by maybe_soon_500_days_of_you 5/24/2012

written by maybe_soon_500_days_of_you

again, I am in this deep hole. I am feeling very lonely here 🙁 All those people who are around me over the day, no one to talk to and if I try to start a talk with someone they just leave me alone 🙁 I have holidays next week and they will be like hell again. A whole week where no one in my age talks to me. I am just so tired of searching for friends, unfortunately I am also so tired of being alone. I hate everything at the moment. I hate how I fail at everything I do. I hate myself […]

5/24/2012 1 comment

attempting to explain how it feels to me- do you feel similar?

by NotReallyHereAtAll 5/19/2012

written by NotReallyHereAtAll

It’s like you’re trapped inside yourself, you can’t escape unless you allow yourself to escape- but there’s a cage there preventing your escape and every time you manage to break one of the walls down, another higher wall builds up, separating you from everything and everyone else and making escape all the more impossible. And the more you try, the harder it gets. And you’re trapped inside yourself, so you’re sitting there and everything hurts and you want to curl up and cry for hours, but you continue to just sit there, somehow feeling numb and being in pain at the same time. And you […]

5/19/2012 2 comments

god i’m tired

by cakedemon 5/15/2012

written by cakedemon

This is my first time on the website, so I hopeÂ I don’t break any rules or something.

My story is pretty standard: aÂ strict family, crippingly high expectations, and an inability to ever deliver what they wanted culminated in chronic depression and veryÂ bad self esteem.Â I once brought home a B+ for a 7th grade science class. My parentsÂ screamed at me and insulted meÂ until I was literally on my knees, sobbing, begging them to stop.

In high school I was absolutely miserable. Because I was shy and socially awkward, I was unpopular, completelyÂ ignored. IÂ didÂ well in my classes, but of course notÂ nearly wellÂ enough to please my parents. Nobody talked to […]

5/15/2012 3 comments

I Never Knew it Was Possible to Hate Myself so Much!

by trapped305 5/1/2012

written by trapped305

Hate, depression, constant crying, constant suicidal thoughts, constant self-harm. Who am I? I wish I could remember but the image of who I used to be gets fuzzier, and fuzzier. Had I known I would feel such loneliness in the future, I would have ended my life on that faithful April 27, 2006. I’m surrounded by many who claim to love me, yet in my mind I’m trying to deal with the fact that I’ve been abandoned by everyone. Maybe I have and everyone is just pretending to be nice, all I ever meetÂ are extremely nice people, and I can’t help but love them. I […]

5/1/2012 2 comments

A dream that lead to an attempt suicide and depression

by Who am I 5/1/2012

written by Who am I

just before i start of how i attempted suicide and got depression over a dream i had, i would like to say this might be long and goes for 1500 words.. sorry for so long.. please read it and thanks 🙂

This happend last year when i was 14 years old, i am currently 15 years old…. here what happend. This is in term 3 year 8. IÂ fell asleep on a sunday night, that night i had a dream, i was staring into the eyes of this really beautiful blonde girl… it felt like minutes, just her and me in black emptyness staring into each others […]

5/1/2012 3 comments

Saved by a lack of stocks

by 5w4y 4/30/2012

written by 5w4y

4 years ago due to a stress induced issue during a relationship which may sound cliche but there was a large variety of issues which had piled on top of me and caused it.

i made a break attempt at well…..ending it all……obviously i cant go into details of what i did but its Â a horrible thought that the only reason i woke up in hospital was because the bottle ran dry and i ran out things toÂ swallow and iÂ hadn’tÂ brokenÂ the skin far enough….

Now given i was heavilyÂ inebriated when this ventureÂ occurredÂ whichÂ didn’tÂ help at all, i only have twoÂ memory’sÂ from A&E firstly telling the nurse iÂ didn’tÂ want my family informed and […]

4/30/2012 0 comment

this is my se ond post and tjis time im closer to the edge

by bookworm1540 4/24/2012

written by bookworm1540

this is my second post.this time I’m on the edge and the voices in my head are getting harder to resist.”jump jump it wont hurt and all the pain, fear, darkness will all go away just end it now “. little bastards. sorry for the language. I’m going to break soon and nobody can help me. there are 2reasons I haven’t ended it right now.1 my mom. and2 in heaven or hell wherever I go my dad will be waiting for me and if you read my first post then you will understand why.

4/24/2012 2 comments

The Diamond-Steel Heart

by ANobody 4/22/2012

written by ANobody

Before, there was a time where words could reach to my heart, no wall, no nothing. But now, words can’t get past this cold, diamond-steeled heart that blocks it. Just try to break it. Even yours or my will can’t break it. The Diamond-Steel Heart, a cold and harsh place where everything is dead and no such thing as peace ever existed or EVEN heard of the word “Peace”. This heart is like a world that was worse than war and after 2012 combined itself. Words? HA! No such thing existed. You have to feel it to believe it. A new world that is literally […]

4/22/2012 3 comments

I feel Alone…

by terrible me 4/22/2012

written by terrible me

I just don’t know what to do anymore! My parents are completely oblivious to me, and always wonder why I break out into crying(they hear me threw my wall) but don’t bother to comfort. My so-called friends call me names and talk about me behind my back, and think I’m worthless (I heard them say it, by accident of course). Even my younger brother (and mother) verbally hurt me, by calling me fat, worthless, and not worth their time. My mom cares more about her boyfriend than she does for me, and since I once cried at his house, every second I’m gone at my […]

4/22/2012 3 comments

Am I a real life depressed vampire?

by Carve John 4/22/2012

written by Carve John

Today was one of the weirdest days of my life. I have been depressed since I was 10 years old. I’m 14 right now. I have attempted suicide 4 times. I have tried to drown myself, I have thrown myself down stairs trying to break my neck, I have tried strangling myself, and I have taken 15 pills. Today, I was bickering with my boyfriend John all day. We argued over him eating, me eating, and me cutting myself. First time we arguedÂ it wasn’t that bad. Then I told him that I was craving blood. He didn’t quite understand. So then I went upstairs to […]

4/22/2012 2 comments

They say I’m selfish

by etchasketch 4/7/2012

written by etchasketch

I hate it when people say suicide is selfish. People that I thought I could trust say suicide is selfish, cowardly and wrong. I don’t know why I call them back, I don’t know why I answer their questions and I don’t know how much longer I can fake this happiness. Sometimes I fantasize while I’m laying down, I get up grab a noose and hang myself. Other times I fantasize grabbing that gun and shooting myself. Lately I’ve been feeling really suicidal, I watched people jump from the Golden Gate bridge and boy was it amazing. No one has a right to tell me […]

4/7/2012 7 comments

I never thought, I’d die alone. I laughed the loudest, Who’d have known?….

by Nat.... 4/4/2012

written by Nat....

I don’t know what to do.

Cry?- Check. Have a mental breakdown?-Check. Sit and stare into space?- Check.

So.. Tonight, at about half eight-nine, i started to break down. I started to tell myself that it was happening and everyone is going to die. Then i logged onto facebook to try to calm myself down, only to read a lot of status’ about Chantelle…. Things like R.I.P. After some research, i found out that on Tuesday 3rd April 2012, she committed suicide.

I didn’t know her, but still this news has mentally destroyed me.

It makes me think that, how i’m feeling right now… will be what it’s like […]

4/4/2012 9 comments

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