(**imagine any name**) And I am 11. I am female, and attend Middle School.
I remember,in 2007, when I was 6, I had just gotten home from school. I was happy, and I thought nothing would get in my way. That all changed the next day, Saturday. I had learned about death when my Uncle died. He died in 2004. Strangley, I remember everything. At he funeral, everyone was eating, and drinking lemonade, after honoring him. I was crushed. My older brothers best friend? My best friend? I would never see him again. I cried every night. He sed to help me sleep too. He […]
Tag:
Brother
Long story – Short(Believe me, I tried):
I was 17 last year making my brother 23. He started seeing one my absolute best friends until she decided to start dating someone who could be around more, his work kept him out of town.
He told me that it really hurt him and we bonded over it… or so I thought. I had a complete falling out with one of my oldest friends and he decided to take her virginity as a way to get back at my best friend. He’s not very mature for his age – I know, and hes been told by many, including my […]
Every morning when im wakeing up im still wondering why im still here.
My story.
Im been bullied hole my young life from my second grade to seventh grade.
I been beaten, called names, push around and much more. When i was 15 years old
i try to take my own life by drowning my self to river. I was in the river swiming couple
hours just around and around waiting my strenght to run out. Then i started to feel weak.
Then i sit to one rock and thinking now or never. I was thinking about alot of things
but i dunno enymore what make my mind to chance from the […]
Hey I’m new to this but there are some things I need to get off my chest. I’m sorry if I offend anyone or just generally upset/piss people off.
So I’ll start from the beginning.
From a very young age I didn’t really have a “normal” family. My parents divorced when I was a few months old so for a couple of years it was just me, my mum and my brother. My dad was always in my life, more so now than he used to be, but still he was around. When I was about two we moved in with my stepdad. He has two sons […]
Hello guys, its been about four months i think since i wrote anything. I guess because ive been writting on my journal (which is now burned). For abour a month now…or more, ive been more than depressed. I keep thinking its nothing. I mean im only 15, its normal to feel as if your world is falling apart, or any little thing bothers you because of the way we live or anything like that. Truth is, im getting tired of listening to all these thing. Telling myslf all this things is just huting me even more. Cause really its all fucking lies in my head. […]
I have grown closer to my mom but she broke that bond yesterday when you yelled at me about my grades. I have a step-dad and I hate him, I know it is a strong word but he has made this family worse than it already is. My brother always puts me down and he always gets the highest preaise cause he is smarter and he get good grades, he is in 4th grade. This family means nothing to me anymore and the only person I really love is my grandma cause she loves me and she cares about me and she doesnt bring me […]
Despite being around such “happy” people, I cant help but feel lonely and empty. A person who I thought of as a brother died in the Summer and while everyone else is still upset about him, I am the only person who can’t let go. I just can’t. I still cry myself to sleep evey night.
I do hope one day I’ll succeed in my suicide attempts. Then both of us can be at… Peace. I just wish that would happen. All my problems, along with me, would just float away.
Ok here is the thing…i have a great family , they love me totally..my hubby is kind and understanding. I have reecently been blessed by a baby boy hwo is just a bundle of cuteness. I am inconstant touch with my parents an brother who care for me deeply. I had a great job..which i hated hwne i had but now that i have been kicked out i realise how good it was. With all these gods blessings…i am totally a fucked up loser. I hate the fact that i cant find another job. I hate my son when heis needy and cries for me. […]
As a child growing up, my dad used to hit me and my brother. Alot. Hard as well. Whenever he got pissed, he would take anything he could find, pipes, sticks, even rulers. Then, he would tie us up and beat us. Sometimes, he would even take us out to a place to leave us there. But in the end, we always forgave him. Cuz he was our dad. After a while, he stopped beating us. But then, my uncle started taking an interest in me. I was 7 when he first molested me. It went on for 5 years. Somewhere in those 5 years, […]
flashing back into reality
stomped out by the gravity
every situation ways
more or less its all the same
days go by, time flys by
its a repeated cycle
cant never break the cycle
same shit different day
thats the way it always plays
whats one place from another
wheres the love my hateful brother?
i thought i could be made
if only i played the game
i played it to the end
where i learned you never can win
play to be played and stay to be stayed
who stills the hand and bares the water?
where the love in ever after?
what must be done to change the tide?
to turn back the clock and take the time
no one knows but everyone […]
I like how I can vent about how I’m going to try and suffocate myself tonight. Nobody on here knows who I am. I have the perfect life. Loving family, no real reason to kill myself. Yeah,but I’m delusional. I Am insane. My parents think I’m the happy perfect child with straight A’s but no,I’m not. I have no friends and I barely am able to get up in the morning and go to school another day. I don’t live,I survive. So I decided to die.I’m not sure if ill go to hell or if atheists are right. I’m a very messed up person. My […]
I hate myself. I hate everything. I just had a large argument with my dad and my brother and i just hate myself. The only good trait i have is also and almost always bad. I try to be compassionate, and i am with some people and im a dick with others. I just hate how useless i am and how i have no good traits, im such a changeable, weird bipolar disorder like guy. I just hate it. I want out of life. My dad was angry at me because i have a dream of moving to london (and i hate perth) yet they […]
The first installment to the Notepad saga…. yep, that’s it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Whom It May Concern,
You may think of me as stupid. Ugly. Dumb for meeting my 2 best friends over the internet. Meeting the love of my life over the internet. Stupid for writing this, but you don’t know how I feel. Let me tell you.
Living every day is a fuckin’ chore. Going to school is a chore. Walking, carrying everything I need, and just being on the computer with my love is a chore. Trying to survive without him actually being here is a chore. Without the people who truly understand me. Is it such a […]
when I go to ask for help I get too scared of being sent away and everyone’s judgement. what if they all think i’m crazy or insane or something,
My brother tries to talk to me when I’m crying and it just makes it worse and i just want to punch him in the face.
the man i looked up too, my grand father, passed. mt dad lost his job so now we have no money. my grades keep dropping, I’m cutting more and more.
I’m scared and helpless, I want help and a friend. I have tons of “friends” but none that are actually there for me. My […]
I Have a very bad history, I have an abusive father, I have been raped by my brother when I was a kid, I Lost what was precious to me, etc. here recently I have been feeling like a machine, I have been reading what these scientists have been saying and they say that consciousness is a quantum process and that the soul is universal material and that pretty much everything we do is all body based. if that is so then can someone tell me the best way to commit suicide, I dont want to live my life if I am just a fucking […]
So this is my first story here…
I’m 20 years old and have been thinking about suicide since I was about 7
(yes, for real)
Thing is, back then, I was also happy… The biggest problems I had were
“my brother ate my chocolate” and so on… And well, now, with getting older, encountering other *more severe* problems in life, they still don’t get to me in a way that I would want to kill myself because of them. As said in the title, I’m a quite happy person.
But in all these years, all this time, there is a constant need to end it all…
My urge to […]
Hey there,
I’ve been at a low point for many years (and since I’m 17 that’s a lot)
I was heavily bullied, I had suffered home abuse and loss, I self harmed, my grades were dropping drastically. I had a trunk load of self hate, saw no way out.
I attempted on January 2012, I failed, obviously. Though things looked up, the day out of hospital I found a new girlfriend.
5 months later, I ruin things, she can’t deal with my problems. She leaves me after I have a mental breakdown. Weeks later she sleeps with my Friend/Brother. I survive these next few months, barely.
Now 7 months after […]
I’m only alive because
of the smell of blacktop on a humid day after
it rains; and rain itself—thunderstorms
lightning thrills like riding in the car with
my brother; loud music of the
“i don’t give a fuck” type
and running; holding breath dizzy
passing out on grass–wet grass; alcohol
burning my mouth–tingling and drugs;
the feeling of living that isn’t
real and sunrise; a new beginning fresh start
clean sheets; white pure and snow; dark quiet
night–talking, skater boys; in the park smoking
under the gazebo; stars bright—Orion
finding trees in the stars because
I am dead
on the inside;
the smell of cold—death; […]
There was a chill in the wind that night, one like no other.
The darkness made it hard for sight, but I knew it was my  brother.
The strength of his grip, the frame of his stature;
As he grabbed my hips, before IÂ knew it I was captured.
My throat went dry, I couldn’t scream.
I tried and tried, but the harder it seemed.
Next thing I knew, an unfamiliar place; unsure of what to do, clothes were disappearing at fast pace.
My face turned white, I couldn’t shift.
Frozen in fright, thinking did IÂ deserve this?
Down my cheek, the first tear rolls.
As he proceeds, my mouth he holds.
“Our little secret” he whispered […]
when you are REALLY tired, you always want the easy way out, its like listening to a scratched record over and over again when someone who thinks they know really doesnt know, and they try to preach to you. i remembered my mentally handicapped brother god rest his soul being tied to a radiator in the bathroom with a belt while my 22 yr old mother ran the street and left us, i remember being locked in a room for days with a skeleton key without food or water and being BEAT for sneaking out trying to find something to eat. i remember there being nothing in […]