Tag:

changes

by Drowning 3/28/2016

written by Drowning

What has changed from a year ago when I starting to be suicidal again nothing apart from me starting to act on it I should have done it a year ago just prolonged my pain and suffering so what is if nothing changes by next year that would be two years of suffering and u happiness would be ideal to swollow something and sleep forever but that ain’t going to happen I need a better method or the courage to follow though with a method I’m not keen on who knows time will tell I guess

il put my email here if anyone what’s to chat […]

3/28/2016 2 comments

I don’t feel anything

by Madgirlgoinginsane 3/7/2016

written by Madgirlgoinginsane

I sometimes wish to die even though I’m not depressed. I don’t want to sound psychopathic, but I guess I like the word death. I want to get away with this world. I hate myself. I’m fat, stupid, insane, selfish… I don’t actually know my real personality. It changes every time I feel different, or when the place changes. Please, don’t hate on me or something… This is my first post and my only place I can be me, maybe. I hope I can find my real self one day.

3/7/2016 4 comments

Meaning

by TheValiant 2/15/2016

written by TheValiant

Funny how it happens. Things happen, new sights, new people, new interactions glimpsed, and something changes and find something new in your own insights or how you viewed something. I want to believe that’s hopeful. Well…Thanks

I can keep pretending we’re one.

2/15/2016 2 comments

A Social Anxiety day

by Slipknot83 1/27/2016

written by Slipknot83

I notice I start to get angry toughs whenever I have to go out, maybe it’s a reaction to prepare me to defend myself. Many times I give up leaving home, because I can’t handle people staring at me uncontrolably mad.

I tried to go anyway, everything happened as expected, couldn’t lift up my face to look at people. My eyes stuck the ground, I start sweating, and my face muscles become stiff, and i think, this never changes. Psychologists say you should keep insisting going out and facing your fears. But it never changes to me, it’s like the Murphy law “If something can go wrong […]

1/27/2016 14 comments

If you could be any animal,

by whiskered-fish 1/22/2016

written by whiskered-fish

what animal would it be, and why?

Personally, I love all animals, so my answer changes everyday. But today I’m kinda in love with leopard seals.

1/22/2016 28 comments

Changes

by oddsare 1/5/2016

written by oddsare

There are a lot of changes that might happen soon. I have to make some serious decisions and it makes me sick just thinking about it. I feel so hopeless right now. I feel alone. I feel kind of empty. It’s like I’m not worth anything. That’s all I keep thinking about. I just want to die. Everything would be better if I were dead.

1/5/2016 2 comments

Do you ever

by flyingnorth 12/18/2015

written by flyingnorth

Do you ever just lay there and listen to the way your house breathes? Do you ever just lay there and watch as the shadows on your wall slowly change and grow as the time passes and the suns position changes? I can feel my depression breathing deep in my gut, spreading its shadow into my heart. It ways heavily and I fear there is not much I can do to stop it anymore. Slowing it seems to be my only option, but its triumph is inevitable. I hate feeling this way. I wish there was an option to surgically remove this depression and anxiety. […]

12/18/2015 1 comment

Just Nothings

by YoungGods 12/6/2015

written by YoungGods

Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy or something is wrong with me. Most days are okay in the beginning. Then something small changes and I fell like it comes crashing and spiraling down again. That sadness that follows me is back and it’s like it grabs a hold of me for the longest of time. It doesn’t go away until I’ve cried so long that my eyes, head, throat, and body hurt. I feel like I’ve lost my friends and family within that past two years. It’s getting harder and harder to open up to anyone. My family seems like it’s falling apart. I’m […]

12/6/2015 2 comments

Dear you

by Trix 9/29/2015

written by Trix

Since my last post I wanted to write one for some of the people here. This is mostly for people I’ve crossed paths with in the comments recently, but I appreciate everyone here. We might not have talked, but many people here have become very valuable to me.

I don’t know where to start… over the last couple of days I’ve been feeling several times that my depression has lifted. It’s a very gentle, subtle lift, but this is something that hasn’t happened to me for years. I’ve been much, much better physically the past couple of days (it changes dramatically from one day, hour, minute […]

9/29/2015 18 comments

I will be taking the rope soon.

by Phobia 9/24/2015

written by Phobia

I don’t think people understand the true meaning of depression, or what it really is. When you are depressed you see your life as something meaningless, hopeless, worthless, loneliness, and the list just keeps going on and on as it continues. I attend a high school and people notice that I’m always somewhat depressed or feeling down but yet people never approach me and end up ignoring me and don’t really seem to care about me or what I have to say. When people do end up approaching […]

9/24/2015 4 comments

Man, I Feel Like A Woman

by ifuckedthequeen 8/21/2015

written by ifuckedthequeen

I met up with my little brother in Victoria today. Fuckin’ cool meeting of the great minds. He’s been goin through some intense changes himself but im glad to see he’s pushing through and making necessary changes. Such a beautifully intense conversation about our current transformations. I’m finally embracing my trans identity and confronting and riding the emotions head on. Such a beautiful freedom. Scary as fuck as I fight my inner judgments and christian past. Fuck it. I feel it, I’m going to do it. Transgender is a fuckin’ gorgeous thing. Such a heavy burden to bear if filled with self hate and fear. […]

8/21/2015 6 comments

Decisions

by quaero 8/4/2015

written by quaero

This job did its job. It took me some to understand what has fallen through. I was freaking out initially because such changes always seem terrifying at first. I recalled a post of mine where I wrote that I can’t follow my way because I have to bear the burden of sustaining my body/ I feel obligation towards my parents/ I hate society and can’t help influence of people while interacting with them. It now seems that all these things were direct or indirect products of my not having a job. I am saying that because these things are vanished now, I no longer feel […]

8/4/2015 1 comment

New month

by Rotted_Flesh 7/2/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

New start for me, just finished off the rest of my booze and starting my medication therapy of Effexor tomorrow!!! I know I made a previous thread about this topic but I just wanted to say a few more words. I really hope I succeed this time and don’t relapse and that I react well to the Effexor. Big life changes comin’ up for me, now if I could just have that much needed confidence to face the world without fear I’ll be set. Always a work in progress I suppose. Fuck even my own optimism is annoying me lmao, sorry folks.

7/2/2015 1 comment

I Just Want to be Me

by TheStonerWhoCould 6/15/2015

written by TheStonerWhoCould

I’m not perfect I’ll admit, there are a lot of things I need to change like my depression, suicidal thoughts and self harm to start. I’ve already committed myself to changing but nobody trust me to do it on my own. Although therapy and medicine work for some people it terrifies me, mostly the drugs.

To me its petrifying to think that one pill a day can control my mind. Its changes the chemical levels to “balance” you out which changes the way you think. It might make you happier but at what cost. All of your originality and creativity is gone. Everything you though is different. […]

6/15/2015 0 comment

See me now

by exitpower 6/7/2015

written by exitpower

I want to die
I want the death of;

The way my partner doesn’t see me anymore.

The horrible feelings I get when my partner is cold hearted and doesn’t want or return my affections.

Loving somebody who always wants to break my family.

Feeling abandoned and lonely because my partner will gladly never see me again.

Feeling sadness for my kids because they will grow up not knowing me how I thought they would. Being a part time dad changes the way you interact forever.

The way my partner sees me now.

6/7/2015 0 comment

Needing to die, not wanting to

by Rotted_Flesh 6/1/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

I really don’t want to die but I feel like it’s the only thing I can do to escape everything that haunts me in my head and my life. I just can’t stand my thoughts and insecurities, therapy and medication are a bunch of horseshit I know this firsthand as I’ve been on countless medications etc. The only thing that breeds a positive change are life CHANGES and improvement. Nothing gets better if nothing ever changes. I don’t want to fucking hold myself back anymore, I want to be free. I feel like I’m imprisoned in my mind and it’s been too long like this, […]

6/1/2015 2 comments

i am screwed

by stuckwiththisusername 5/9/2015

written by stuckwiththisusername

it’s the worst when your problem isn’t from your mind but it exists in front of you and changes your mind. not much i can do to change it without killing myself. i could wait though and see what happens. sucks to know that you’d be better off dead because there’s nothing worth living for except for being hopeless. i’m probably lucky that i got depressed right at the start of summer vacation, that takes some things off my mind. maybe being depressed wont be as bad as the last time. not sure what i need now to get out of this, already talked with […]

5/9/2015 3 comments

To Those That Have Lost Hope…

by whats_left 4/25/2015

written by whats_left

Hello to everyone out there reading this post. I posted what I thought would be my last post nearly 3 weeks ago now. I posted and then went on my last walk to the forsest preserve where I was to die. Had all the supplies in my bag, I was ready for it all to be over. I had finally felt this level of peace that I hadnt felt in over a decade. I was happy that it was finally almost over…..

Well obviously it didnt go according to plan as the branch must have snapped and I woke up on the forest floor. I immediately […]

4/25/2015 7 comments

Desperate For Change

by Sammi6xoxo 4/24/2015

written by Sammi6xoxo

Ever been so desperate for a change that you jumped head first into a bucket of bleach? Yeah. I got to that point. Desperately needed something new. What is it about small changes that makes me feel better for a little while? Why does that seem to hold me over for a few days? Its still me. So why does it make such a big difference in my attitude for a short time? I feel okay today. Even after waking up to heartbreaking news. […]

4/24/2015 13 comments

How do you know when it’s time

by srqfish47 4/22/2015

written by srqfish47

31 make lots of money, try to be a good person yet it seems like I have a tendency to ruin every relationship now this time it was my marriage divorce is almost final. No one I meet ever understands what it’s like to feel this way I’m just fucking unhappy all the time unless I drink so much I “feel” fine until it wears off.

Therapy , psychs, meds none of it changes anything I want out…….
But then take into consideration my family how will they feel? Even my soon to be ex wife…….

Am I selfish for giving up? My whole life I’ve tried […]

4/22/2015 2 comments

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