I am so ready to leave. plan on my daughter’s birthday (yes, a daughter that I don’t get to see) to leave this pathetic fucking life. Funny that so many believe in a fictious god, but think (because a dumb book) that you will be damned if you leave this crappy shit earlier. There is no god, and there is nothing after this bullshit. We are just like any other animal on this planet, look at all of our actions. We go to war for what reason? There is more than enough land on this planet to live. We keep others financially strap for what […]
Tag:
Coward
I am a deployed military member on my 3rd combat deployment. Since joining I have never seen any combat. No mortar has ever come close. No IED has ever went off. No shots have been fired at me. I joined to go fight. I wanted to achieve greatness and kill the enemy. I changed jobs this time in order to give myself a better chance of getting in an engagement. This time like every other time I have beem deemed too necessay for staying on the FOB. To make matters worse, my spouse was hit by […]
I’m so fuckin sick and tired of doing this. Day in day out I just float through my day, half awake half asleep, just waiting to die. Every morning I wake up dissapointed to find I’m still breathing, just the thought of getting out of my bed and looking in thr mirror scares the shit out of me. I am a coward . If I wasn’t then I would have finished the job quite some time ago instead of just lingering aimlessly through a pointless existence. I don’t want tp be here anymore, I have grown so bitter […]
i understand how you feel but as young as you are you need to talk to someone, I have felt the same way for as long as i can remember, now 50 im still suffering in silence everyone thinks im strong and inside im screaming for help, i dont have the courage to ask for help and ive also passed this on to my children, my daughter has recently told me that its my fault because she has severe depression as i gave her to my mum when she was 2, i also had another 2 children to the same father whom abused me physically, […]
I lost my best friend to cancer. I first met her when we were 9, we played basketball on the same team. We had clicked instantly. Best friends right away. She lived two blocks away and we always would meet at the park to hang out. She was a year older then me and she was like a big sister. She always had my back and looked out for me. When she was 12 she got cancer. She had it for three months and then the doctors said it went away. But then four months later, just before she turned 13, the doctors said that […]
I guess I am too late.
Too late to do anything anymore
but just isolate myself.
all i do is cry
wishing and hoping
all i want to do is stop
my memories are taking over my soul
im too afraid now
im more of a coward now
i’ll never get the answer
nothing that i have done
will ever work
im tired
too tired
i don’t want to give up
but i can’t go thru this
i wish there was something i could do
i just wish.
Afraid to die
Yes
But this life isn’t for me
No body really cares
My family wants the best for me
But the same time they just over protect me from everything
Always wanting me to be their baby
But always wanting me to have my own life
How am I supposed to have my own life when they keep me away
The more we fight
The more I lost track of time
I messed up so much
The more I mess up
The more bitter I turned
The more arguements and fights
The more I day dream about the what if’s
I lose
Now there’s no where to go
Trapped on this lonely broken path
More afraid than ever
People say I am lucky
But […]
So I woke up another morning. I saw my therapist this morning and told her nothing of my plans to kill myself or how bad the urge has gotten. How much I think about death. That I don’t see myself making it another month. What’s the point in counseling?? You can’t be honest…you tell them that you want to die and you will be thrown in a mental hospital which in my experience does nothing but make you wanna cut more and wanna die. I’ve done what I was supposed to do..i got “help”, I take the medicine everyday and I do all the coping […]
When i was little, i started to cut myself. mind you, im only 15 now. My counsler used to ask me if i could set a goal to live ..like live to christmas or my next birthday. and i did just that. I never knew it wasnt normal to think about suicide. i think about it maybe twice a week. My mom told me one time that i was a coward for wanting to kill myself, they think i just want attention, its not. i want relief. and its sad to say i think suicide is my only way out. I’ve tried before, i took […]
Hello.
This is my note. This is the only place my note will ever be, because I’m too much of a coward to actually go through with this.
I’m nothing, I mean nothing to myself. I would really rather disappear into nothing. Scatter myself into a thousand and one atoms, floating peacefully in space. Instead I’m stuck here, in this colourless hell. The only person i can talk to won’t listen, I can’t tell her anyway. I love her too much to let her bear this.
Anyway, my name is Sian. I’m nearly sixteen, I have blonde hair and brown eyes. I’m a dancer, that’s how I define […]
I’m just going to talk in a general rant manner, so sorry to anyone reading this if I switch back and forth randomly.
I want to kill myself, but I am too weak to do it. Too weak, too much of a coward. I want to die and become non existent. Die and finally be free from this shit fucking life, free from my depression, free from my pain. I can’t bring myself to do it though. I can’t even bring myself to really hurt myself. I don’t like being hurt and obviously I’m subconsciously terrified of death or I would have killed myself by […]
I really could just finish this now. All the bullshit from others, self loathing, anxiety and depression could be gone with just one slit. The knife is in my hand, no one is here to stop me, and even if they were, I doubt they would with how they feel about me now. I really want to do it and get it over with, but I just can’t seem to do it. God knows why, I mean it’s for the best, so why can’t I? Maybe somewhere inside I think it will get better, or maybe I am scared of failing that just like everything […]
I don’t even know if you could call me suicidal. I’ve never actually attempted it, but I have thoughts about killing myself so often. I’ve had an eating disorder for over a year, and over the past few months, I’ve started cutting. I feel depressed all the time now. I’m just never happy anymore, I make excuses so I don’t have to go out, and see people, I lie to my therapist, she thinks I’m getting better, when in reality, I have never felt more depressed in my life than I do right now. I have fantasies about slitting my wrists, or jumping in front […]
This post probably will have little to none importance and I shouldn’t go through with what I will but I am coward and a loser. There’s hasn’t been much failures in my life until now and when I usually set my mind to do something I do it. You know, like a challenge you assign yourself and you are determined to accomplish i by whatever means.
24 of age currently. I’ve lived a normal life I like to think but in reality it’s not. Honestly comparing to some other posts I’ve read in the past few days mine doesn’t come as close for a reason to […]
the coward’s way out, then I’d rather be a smart coward than brave and delusional
ever since I’ve stopped going to college (sept. 2011), I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do next, what path to follow .. in vain
but the truth is: a future where I’m glad I’m still alive, where I’ve found a purpose is a self-inflicted lie .. my ego+personality knows that when I die, it will be the end of it and it can’t stand the idea of its own death .. so it would rather fool me into believing there’s still something to gain from, something to accomplish […]
Voices..
I hear them, talking, bitching, jeering.. They are trying to make me do some bad shit.. Kill her..she deserves to die.. No she hasn’t done anything… Yet. They make me cut.. Deeper, deeper.. Let it rain you coward.. I cannot complain of being alone.. I’m never alone.. They don’t let me be alone.. Ever. Your ugly, your fat, you emo, you *****, your worthless, not good enough.. You will never be up to your mothers..”Standard”… So you cut, cut the pain away, watch it bleed out of you…
Darkness..
I can feel them.. All of them.. Their thoughts.. Their voices whisper in my ears.. I […]
Hey everyone, I’ve been a long time lurker, this is my first post. I don’t really know where else to go to get advice or support or anything like that.
Basically I’ve had depression for 3 years now (I’m 18, turning 19 in a few months), and I’ve just been suffering through it, I’ve been thinking about suicide every day but I’m too much of a coward to just do it. In all honesty, if I had a gun or something, I’d do it, but I’m just scared of the pain.
Anyways yeah so I’ve been talking about it with one of my friends and this girl […]
A mind that asks many questions
A mind mind that realizes there will never be any answers
A pair of eyes that cry in the wrong direction
A red heart longing for affection
I know the truth
And I want my heart to stop beating
For love in another means nothing if your own is slowly depleting
I’ve hated my life and the people who had to be in it
The horrible ones
And my useless mind and it’s emotions
No I’ve done my meditation
And like a band aid it covers over the wound temporarily
And I’ve been in counselling
And few understand I’m rare you see
And […]
Still wanna kill myself over a person who could care less.im going to eliminate that pian in my chest by putting a bullet through it.god hasnt answered a single prayer in 3mon.as a mater of fact thing just keep getting worse. I cant wait to taste the kiss of death.ill be leaving us soon its just too much to bear anymore.goodby all.she is worth death.seeing her with another man is worth death.my sadness is worth death.im such a coward.and am so selfish because there are many who love me but the one i want to doesnt.and thats worth death
I’ve done it.I think I finaly got rid of the only two “friends” that still talked to me.I kept rejecting their proposal to hang out.It’s been about 2 weeks that I haven’t seen them.
No more stupid talk
No more going along those stupid talk
No more people trying to change me at all cost
No more fake smile
I am 100% alone now.
Man it just feels so stupid to write this for everyone to see.I wish I could burn my mask but I’m too much of a coward to do so.I’ve goten so affraid of being rejected by people that I’ll surely use it forever on…My mother started noticing […]