I’m really tired of feeling so worthless so today I decided to end my life. I took 20-30 different pain killers and nothing has happened.. I don’t know why it didn’t at least make me sick. So I guess today I’m surviving my suicide but I’m not pleased by it at all. I took 24 acetaminophen (extra strength), 10-15 advil, 2 liquid gel advil (extra strength), and 3 liquid gel midol (extra strength). And it’s been hours. Nothing. Curse this stupid society I’m forced to live in. Curse it!
The Westboro Baptist Church, decided to protest at the funeral of Staff Sgt. Donna Johnson, who was killed in Afghanistan, by a suicide bomber. I joined a group in “Anti-protest” against the Westboro Baptist Church.
As the Church members (The five that showed up), wielded their banners about “fags” and “breast cancer is God’s curse”, I couldn’t help but shake my head in disbelief at audacity of these people. They stood on American flags, gay pride flags and did a host of disrespectful acts. I realize their main goal is to receive attention and I suppose I did help with that, but I wanted to witness […]
Please take this with you, & also pass it on to others.
“Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise people at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good people, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the […]
Ever since I was little I dreamed of my prince charming.
Now I’ve found him and he can’t love me due to the curse of broken trust.
This Cinderella story has become an unrequited version of Romeo and Juliet.
Unable to trust, he will die alone, and so shall the one that loves him.
So with this broken heart I’ll drink your poision to set you free.
the truth is that..i still feel this way all the time.i dont have a girlfriend i can afford..i cant afford to even kal a girl that just acceptd my proposals i am as broke as a dinosaurs fossil.i am sliding into depression jst from making this comment.a girl once fainted in my arms at home.but i couldnt afford the simplest form of transportation around this parts,i couldnt get her to the hospital or anything.i was called a curse to the economy.i can hardly afford my meals so i am staying with my parents,this to a great lenght have stopped me from being who i am,truth […]
I swear to god, there is something very unnatural about capitalism; it is dehumanizing. I know I was not put on this earth to be a pawn in the system, and neither were you. I think that the industrialization of society was more of a curse than a blessing–sure, things are more convenient than they were 200 years ago, we live longer, have antibiotics, (is that really a good thing?….) but I would trade every convenience of modern society to be free from this system.
I am currently unemployed. Again. Do I want to go out and sell myself into wage slavery, again? NO. That’s right, NO. For some […]
No! I am not a lycanthrope!
Now that that is out of the way…
Here is an example of the source of all my problems, as well as the source of happiness in my life. You’ll probably be confused by that statement, but if you lived with it for a while, you’d understand.
So today I went out back to water my rows of tobacco plants. I did that methodically, one at a time, from left to right. I checked on the progress of my seedlings, watered those, then I took a walk around the yard and inspected the other individual plants growing there; I looked at the […]
We all come with baggage of insecurities, fears, shortcomings, emotions. We all feel, that’s what makes us Human. But…some of us are born with something extraordinary, an ability to feel a lot stronger. It’s a gift and a curse. When we are happy, others can’t comprehend how happy, but when we are engulfed by darkness, we feel miserable enough to die. I speak from the inside perspective, and it really isn’t easy to live with. Sometimes, I look at the sky from somewhere high up, and am ready to reach for the heaven and jump. Other days, I feel so powerful, like i can do […]
Of this curse of fear and darkness
fear rules
fear binds
fear steals from me
everything
the shadows
turning the light into a lie
making my world black
and my thoughts ink
and twisting
pulling me
into darkness
“My name is unimportant. I am neither male, nor female. My age has no relevance to my grief. Consider me a faceless representation of depression. An anonymous death seeker. A hopeless nobody.”
I’ve met someone. At this point in time I can’t decide whether it’s a blessing or a curse, a cure to my life-long battle with depression, or a catalyst. This someone is special. The way I feel when I’m with them is astonishing. I feel happy, and content with myself. I feel at ease. At peace. And when I am with them it feels like my troubles have slipped through my […]
She wakes up everyday and look at the clock as it was a curse, one more day to fake a smile and walk trough life emotionless.
She remembers the voices on her ears when she was little, she feels someone is there to hug her but that someone is unknown and that scares her so hard she wants to cry… but she can’t, her feelings are hide on the deepest of herself so she can’t show what is feeling.
She goes to sleep with the hope of no waking anymore, but when she opens her eyes in the morning and realize that she stills […]
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person…
thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
I often feel like I belong to another planet, universe, or perhaps another ‘spiritual’ plane, dimension,..something like that.
my super-vivid imagination’s world / universe is often a HUNDRED times much more lively, interesting, exciting, thrilling, and challenging than this apparently “Law and Order, all about money/profits and status” shallow, mundane, meaningless real world !
it’s my curse.
fuck my life..
get the hell me out of this fucking Matrix , please , somebody!
there should be an OPTION to get the fuck […]
they say knowledge is power
I say it’s a curse
To not know the truth is my desire
For ignorance is heaven on earth
To not know how cruel this world can be
To not know what is going to happen to me
Because my destiny is known by none but fate
They know the event but not the date
On which I’ll die, without a tear in my eye
Because I will have prayed for it all to end
To not know how far gone humanity has become
To not know how much love has stung my heart
And torn apart
My life from my soul
I know it will it is just the details I want to fill in. I see knifes and I get ideas. I see my moms diabetic medication and I get ideas. I go to school I walk upon the top of the staircase and I see the bottom and I  get ideas.  I today held a knife and pointed it to my chest. I know I’m not afraid of dying. I’m sick of being treated like shit. I am infected with the misery decease which was stung into my heart by the needle of destruction. I see my money and I see guns online and I […]
see those smiles?
they aren’t hers.
you think they only bless;
[but] she knows their curse.
yet in that abyss,
truth stirs.
always at her heels
it stumbles and keels
desperate to reveal
a [the?] girl who feels.
(nothing but faux:
it’s all for show)
if only they knew
she almost fell through
the void in her heart
full of fabricated clart
forged to keep her life
from falling apart.
nonetheless this only created strife
and anguish for her
provoking the start:
caveat emptor.
“True love ~ Broken dreamsâ€
-Hai, my name is Peter Alesana also other’s would like to call me Petii. I’m going to share a story about broken dreams, the human mentally capacity of fighting for your loved one, for your dreams, shattered lost soul, never endless suffering, a story what will encourage you to stand up and keep pushing even if everything seems to be dark and hopeless , when you are on two knees praying, shaking in the unconditional pain, when you cried so much that your tears turn into blood but won’t stop falling regardless how try you hard, when there is no one else there to […]
I apologize in advance: this is going to be very unorganized.
I tried to kill myself a little over a year ago, but I was taken to the hospital. I dropped out of college. Around the beginning of the school year, I had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I withdrew from school for a few months. The details are more complicated than that, but that’s not important right now. I got a job this past August, which I lost in January. Since then I’ve been moping around my parents’ house, pretending to look for a job or be interested in going back to school. Going […]
Through this graceless ravaging tempest
You seek to forsake this pitiful flesh
As you attempt a hopeless and doomed extrication
It clings to you with gladiator determination
You remain grotesquely animated
Choiceless, as your pain throbs unabated
Decaying within a merciless incarceration
Demonic phantoms do a deathly dance in your mind
Creating these hideous nightmares for you to find
On the despairingly glorious doorstep of hate
A gate guarantees elusively infinite escape
Bloodless corpses swirl through the mist
Promising a torture more fulfilling than this
Entranced, you eagerly stumble towards the howling wraiths
There is no hope in hell
No comfort when you fell
But purgatory is […]
It’s so strange… I mean, the way I feel… Am I depressed? I would say yes, but I ain’t that sure thats the right word to describe it. I got problems, many problems, but I’m forced too much to hide the real me and the things I really feel and I end up thinking that pretending it’s fucking okay for the sake of everyone keeping his quiet balance in his life. That’s fucking unfair, I can’t sacrifice myself just to prevent the people that surround me from breaking their peace.
I can’t convince myself that this is simply my life and this is all about […]
The days keep getting harder and less fruitful. The nights are getting longer. Waking in cold sweats wondering why the curse continues. It is time to take back the control. I always said I do what I want when I want, so why haven’t I done it yet? Time to face that fear. Time to move on in the only way possible. I am so tired. I am so very, very tired. I hear the arguments from both sides. I weigh the pros and cons of either result. But again I am so very tired. I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. When I […]