after like 8 month without cutting last night i went totally overboard and made myself pass out. fuck. and now i’m gonna be stuck in the fucking cycle, fucking again, all because of a fucking girl
Tag:
Cutting
I dont know how to start this. I feel head sick, my brain just never stops. everything is just going and going.it feels like its been years since i slept, like really slept, or woke up and felt like”todays he day”. my entire life i have always felt behind, like everyone in the world attended the”how to” of life, and i was late and missed it. sometimes i have dark thoughts, dark enough i wont put on here but they are terrifying. the thing that i dont get is i come from a good home. both my parents love me and my mom has done […]
This Is My Life . Nobody Really Knows Me , If You Ask Anyone They Would Tell You That I’m The Happiest Person Ever . But They Don’t Know The Real Me . I Suffer A LOT But People Don’t Know That . I Hate My Life ; No One Can Understand Me At All , Not Even My Parents ! I Act Like I’m Fine Because I Hate People That Worry About Me , But One Day I Decided To Start Thinking . I Went To The Bathroom And Started Cutting Myself , I Felt Like Relieved In A Way . And No One […]
Quit Worrying About How You Look, it’s About Whats On The Inside!
i don’t care who you are. your beautiful and amazing in your own unique and special way, please don’t let what he/she says make you stop believing that. the people who hurt you most are the ones who usually are the closest to you…but don’t beat yourself up, and depress yourself with it, because they may have called you ugly. stupid. fat. etc..but only you can believe them..only you can take it to heart. only you can take it as far as it gets. You, are Your Biggest Enemy. free yourself from mental slavery, […]
Stay awake you’ll be supprised.
At the beauty of the butterflies
They fly so high oh they have soared,
they know the pain you’ve endured,
they will never leave your plight,
scarlet wings look so bright,
leave back the nights of flooded tears,
and wake up without that frown.
The moonlight shines away your fears,
as the butterflies wipe away your tears,
so tonight when you start to cry,
remember the cutters lullaby:
hushabye baby you won’t be dead,
you have a pulse though your pillow is red.
your family hates you though your friends wont let you bleed,
just throw away that knife,
that’s all you need to do.
rockabye baby broken and scared,
 you know life won’t always be this hard,
time […]
Hey Ya’ll, my name is Leah and I want to share with you my suicide story. I just want to go ahead and start off with the fact that I love you, and I am praying for you every single day.
So, where to begin…
Ever since I can remember I have been suicidal. I have had these thoughts for as long as I can remember. I knew it was not the right way to think, that children were supposed to be happy, and the fact that I was not made me feel as if I was doing something wrong. I had trouble coping with […]
i’m bryana, 16. i may seem like the happiest girl around, always smiling when i’m around people, trying to make people laugh constantly, but when i’m alone in my room all i do is cry and secretly think about how i’m going to kill myself..here’s my story, well part of it. i used to be the biggest tomboy ever, i’d play baseball even played peewee tackle when i was in third grade. i had so many friends and was soososooso happy all the time. even in middle school it seemed like everyone just wanted to be my friend as if i could do no wrong […]
i shouldnt feel this way. i got rid of all those feelings when i left my old school. i have new friends, a new identity, a new school and a fresh start.  then why do i still feel like this. I just float through life everyday, a lifeless burden to myself.  I hate everything that i am, i hate everything that i do, have done and probably will do. i walk around school with this label “smiler” because im always smiling!
“hey smiler!” “right smiler!” dont they know its all a cover? a front if you will? Im alone, scared, cutting and dying inside. I respect myself […]
tommorows the big day!!!I got ahold of my moms box cutter the other night.Earlier that day i found some numbing stuff.its for teeth but i think if i put it on the blade itll numb the area for awhile.I probably should pay atenttion to my rule of not drawing atenttion to myself.But im not going to kill myself at home.I scared the fuck out of everybody with sleeping pills.If im around strangers and i dont know if thats good or bad thing.But then itll be easier.Im falling apart. Just yesterday i couldve been killed walking off at home att night.There was a guy in the […]
I know very soon i will start an attempt but this will be a little different.Pills almost did me in about a week ago.i told the psych at er id try again in two weeks guess shell be seeing me again.Anyway i have this image of slicing a line with my moms box cutter starting at the elbow going straight down almost to the wrist.
But thats not what i want to talk about.
I want to talk about what the key making dcisions and steps you need to determine wether you can actually go through with it or not.
1. can […]
I added 13 new cuts yesterday. I feel like doing more right now. I thought I was getting better, but I feel like I’ve digressed a lot since then. I haven’t thought seriously thought about dying yet. The cutting helped calm me. It felt good. Then I felt nothing. I want to feel good. I feel like I’m never going to change.
Just a shitty day… or a couple.
A day like today where I wake up feeling okay, and then I start thinking about all the things I’ve ever done wrong. And then I start thinking about how I’m a shitty person. And then, on top of that, I feel like I have zero things to offer. I try so fucking hard to be good at things, at art, at programming… I’m in college, getting decent grades and busting my ass… But I hate everything I’ve ever done. I’ve never accomplished anything and I feel worthless. I’m a huge sagging disappointment to myself. I feel ugly; I […]
i dont what to do anymore… when i was a kid i always got beaten by my parents sumtimes for nothing… i always saw my father beat my mother and out of anger my mother beating herself…. my mother once told me she never wanted me and my father says no point of having a daughter cuz i don’t have interest in cooking or cleaning …. my parents got divorced after living with each other for more that 10 years… after their divorce none of my friends wud ever talk to me till today been 10 yrs nw and i dont have a single friend….. […]
I guess I should start with a statement of “I know that I”m a really lucky person, and life, while not perfect, had been nice to me.” I am born in a really developed country, and have so many benefits that many other countries doesn’t have. I am gifted and loved by god in many ways (learned how to read a language through watching TV, drawings that had won numerous awards and got me a 60,000 scholarship money, performed dance for the Winter Olympics, top three in my school, an hourglass figure, decent face, and healthy body with no mutations…etc.) But I don’t see a […]
I started cutting myself again,now i know im not alone now i know theres two other people in my class cutting there self.
Knowing all the video i’ve seen on youtube that they have.I found it easier now i know.I cant let my mom find out this time or its back to care for me and thats not happening,i cant have that.My mom says cutting is a bad thing but to me its a way of coping.
Anyone know best tips to hide self harm from parents???pleawse
Death and cutting is all I ever think about. In school. At home. I want to cut myself. I want to die. I think about what would happen if I died what would people do what happens adter death. I don’t know there’s just something comforting about death
I just keep thinking about suicide. I don’t explicitly have a plan yet, but I have a general idea of what to do. I know we aren’t allowed to talk about this on the board, but even if we were, I’m not sure if I want my mind changed and I don’t want to be stopped. I told myself I’d give myself until I turned 30, but that seems overly generous now. I don’t know when, but I can’t see myself carrying on for that long. I’m not a human being. If I were, I’d feel loved and worthwhile. There would be a point to […]
When I start cutting again I always wonder why the hell I stopped.
by christina--
written by christina--
It feels so good to cut so deep in your skin that it wont stop bleeding for hours.
I love the feeling afterwards. When the wounds are trying to heal but because youre wearing clothes it keeps on opening again.
I love the way it stings everywhere when I move to remind me what a disgusting piece of trash I am- as if I could forget that.
I love seeing the blood slide down my body.
When I only look at my blade alone I smile. I cant help but smile while I cut myself.
Why would I not smile? This is what I enjoy […]
I posted something the other day, but it really didn’t explain my ‘history’ as people are calling it.
Hey. I’m Adrienne. People call me Addie. I’m almost 18. I have a great family (except my dad). I put a shitload of pressure on myself. I have been cutting myself for about 6 years. It got pretty hard-core during the last 3 years. I don’t do it to feel alive, per se; I do it to punish myself for anything I can think of, or if I just feel depressed. I have attempted suicide twice, both times failing (obviously). I have been seriously considering doing it again, […]
So I made the noose today and hung it in my outside storage. So whenever I’m ready and I feel the urge… I’ve been cutting and purging for the last few days… it seems to help for a moment but not completely. I’ve been in the hospital twice and I go to therapy wkly and am on an antidepressant but I don’t remember a time when my depression and thoughts have honestly been this bad. I dunno how to control my emotions… I’ve been diagnoised with borderlin personality disorder and am very embarressed by what I’m going thru. I dunno if it will be tonite, […]