i’m so scared. maybe my dad did see the knife in my school bag, that was lodged into my maths book. i’m really scared. i’m not up for my parents confronting me.
Tag:
Dad
every fucking time my dad tries to empathise with me, when i tell him i am having a hard time at school, he tells me “walk away and stop starting shit.” i cannot believe the people that are biologically programmed to love me. do they even care? its not like i tell them shit about my life, i just say it like it is. and wen i ask them, have you ever been bullied, were you ever the bully? they reply with no so how the fuck do they expect to understand when they haven’t gone through shit. i hate my fucking disfunctional life. as […]
Well I’m 14 years old, my name is Elise. If I go from the start it will be the longest story ever so I won’t, but my dad left us for no reason at all about 2 years ago. We dont have any contact with him whatsoever, its been about 9 months now, my mum got sick and was in hospital for 3 months neither dad or his family looked after my sister and I during that time so we stayed with friends which was horrible.
This year I started self harming and am now considering suicide. I planned it and all, I see a counsellor […]
what happens when your family is not there for you that the betray you… after my dad died and my brother moved out of the house i was left all alone with my mom and her Borderline Personality Disorder things changed big time we started fighting a lot more and things were not getting better I started cutting myself for a cry of help when the school therapist found out i stopped and they got CPS in to the picture a year later now that they are gone we have been seeing a family therapist once a week and i would show my arms so […]
I shouldn’t complain about my life.It’s not like I wasn’t hugged as a child or anything. I should be strong like my dad and not complain about anything.I wish I could just stand there and take what life throws at me, but I can’t.And that is why i’m worthless.I know i’m not the first girl to be bullied at school ,to have to experiance death of a friend, Not the first teenager who feels like she is the stupid kid or the first girl in the world to get moslested or the first kid to get pushed around the hospitals phyicatric wards’ system when I […]
Why am I here? That is the question i have been asking myself lately.  I just don’t get it.  I feel like God is just keeping me here as entertainment. My mom is pregnant and felt like she was going to have the baby early, so she was in the hospital and got to come home yesterday.  I had soccer practice, but i feel slow and tired so i haven’t been playing good.  It just feels like the world is moving without me. All my family does anymore is yell. My dad says it’s my fault we fight, but couldn’t give me any reasons why […]
i have been feeling very tierd for the past few days…..memories are haunting me…..they are killing me slowly….and making me feel like i am an ignored piece of dried shit sitting at the side of the street……..i feel so tired to even cry…..im remembering everyone who let me down  and gave up on me……i dont know what i have done to deserve this….i am 19 my birthday is next month and ill be 20….im not yet in college i feel like a failure….no body listens…..nobody cares and no body asks…..dad said im cheap….and he also said he doesnt have money for me…..but he does for […]
I knew this would happen, I fucking knew it. Promises don’t count once the relationship ends, do they?
I promised Luis then when this time came I wouldn’t kill myself. But I really can’t take this anymore, Today was the first day back to school and the first thing to happen was one of my really bad headaches. :I Then during second lesson and break I felt a mental breakdown coming. What pushed it over the edge was an email from a ‘Friend’ saying that he didn’t want to deal with a suicidal friend. Which is nice. And now.. Well, I’m fucking suicidal. I just don’t […]
Nothing left to live for… once chance at giving them a nice life…
by codeslinger
written by codeslinger
I have been addicted to drugs for half of my 30 years on this earth…. I thought if I got married and had some children that it would fill the hole in my heart.  I was able to stop using for a little while, but the desire to get high never goes away. I started using again and eventually my wife took my kids and filled a PFA to keep me away from them. I have never hurt her or the kids, but now I am looked at like a wife-beat. I despise those people who hit women, and that’s what hurts the most…
I do not want my kids to look at their junkie dad […]
I heard it again today.
He has cancer.
He has six months to live.
XFirst was my dad when he was one years old my dad is not suppose to be alive according to all doctors. second was my grandmas two dogs died of cancer. third was my grandma had skin cancer. then my mom told us on vacation she might have it thank god she was in the clear.then i didnt he the word tell 3 months later when my like granpa close friend died of brain ccancer. today. A close guy in my life has six months to live he is dying of […]
So , Its for me to believe that everyones sorty is differnt. This one..Well its beyond that.
I dont know how to explain my thought really, But im going to try to put you in my shoes, My state of mind.
*Big breath* Alright. . So sometimes that thing called Depression hits me, Makes me want to go home and cry, yell at everyone about my problems and just throw my hands around hoping that they will hit something to take away this pain.. This pain of loss. The pain of never being loved. Always getting walked out on, or forgotten. Im the type of […]
i found this website today and made an account and so here i am telling you my story not quite sure why im doing this?
im 15 years old and have depression for around 2 years now
my parents got divorced when i was 3 years old,i have no contact with my dad he sees me twice a year and never shows up for christmas or my birthday and always leaves me crying after he says he will!
my mum tries her hardest with me but never understand,she never shown any interest in my life or how im doing,never has my dad or mum said […]
This is the beginning of a novel i am writing…let me know what you think
In the whispering scilence there was not a sound to be heard. And then the screaming began. Now before i get ahead of myself allow me to tell you something. I was neither the victim nor the criminal. I was a witness. A witness to something i was pursued for. I don’t have much time left, so i will tell you as much as possible. It began with a scream. I was sitting in the playground under the tree when i looked up to identify the source of the scream. A […]
So i faced my worse fear.. But the so called “vacation” i suppose to have fun on didn’t go as i planned… When i got to Ontario the first 2 days was relaxing and sorta fun. I hadn’t relaxed in a long time it was nice but after that my depression took a spiraling turn for the worst… I got extremely depressed i couldn’t even find the strength to play with my 2 year old baby brother Jayson whom was plastered to my side the whole time i was there… When we got home a week later i started to loosen up and relax.. But […]
I am at the lowest i have ever been in my life. Sad to say, but i am starting to understand why people kill themselves. I am so depressed and can’t seem to shake it off. Im 27, a broken engagement sent me over the edge. I let any relationship im in consume my entire life and im never happy anyway because i cant seem to trust any man and end up being a crazy ***** for my insecurities. Im in love with a drug addict/alcoholic. He is a horrible person. He lies, steals, embarrasses me and doesnt work, but yet im completely addicted to […]
there is so much i have to say and i don’t really know where to begin… so i’ll try to start from the beginning. i don’t really remember ever being very happy. i spent the first five years of my life with a father who did and sold drugs all the time and when and if he came home he was abusive towards my mom. i don’t remember this but my mom told me that he pushed her down the stairs when she was pregant with my youngest brother. we never really had much money because my mom couldn’t work with all of us being […]
My aunt died after having cancer for four years. It was six days before my twelfth birthday. I was in sixth grade.
I felt nothing.
Jump forward a year and three months: Christmas 2010. During my seventh grade year.
My grandparents were crying while we were opening presents. It had something to do with a photo album, sent by my uncle, which had pictures of my aunt in it or something.
My depression started then. It’s lasted for almost two years now, getting progressively worse. It started out as grief, and from then until the first few months of eighth grade, whenever I’d hear about cancer or suicide I’d […]
I’ve been battling with depression my whole life. I got on anti-depressants when I was about 13, but I caught a lot of flack from my dad’s side of the family so I stopped. I continued struggling until I was about 18 and decided to get back on the pills. It seemed better at first, then it got worse. I was contemplating suicide at least once a week. It was getting to the point where if something in my day went wrong, I would have mini breakdowns in my room. I would cry and curl into a ball and wish horrible things upon myself. I told my […]
im ready to. but I CANT. idk i must be this fucking stupid, i cant even kill myself, i fail..ive failed 15 times! though bout 11 were lousy attempts only to feel some pain in the end. im done, life is not fair. well damn that is right. school starts tuesday…im ok with that..i want my phone though…i either get it next week or in november for my birthday…(so my sister says) i partially believe her cuz dad said i get it back..i need my phone to fix my relationship…damn that sounds pathetic. ugh i feel ignored…alone. but im not. i have an amazing bf […]
My life has been getting harder and harder. I’m completely fucked up. I’m sadistic.  Corrupted as a child, and now completely twisted inside. I’ve seen too much for a teenager. My family is the exact opposite of your typical white picked fenced happy-go-lucky families. My Dad a bipolar screaming gym head with horrid anger issues. My mother, too physically impaired to even care about anything but going back home to her “Real” family. I have no siblings. I have no friends. It’s hard enough that I’m extremely timid and shy, it upsets me to an extreme to simply look someone in the eye. But also people don’t […]