I am so sorry for wasting your time with this, but I have to get it out. For the past seven years, I’ve had problems hiding things and lying to my parents. Now, my dad is so upset with me that he refuses to talk to me. I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time, and how much I was hurting them. I can’t help but think that if I commit suicide, it’ll make all there problems go away and they’ll finally be happy. They once assured me this was not the case but I can’t help think it anyway. They’ve talked to […]
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Dad
Its been ages since i last wrote on here.
+++ Nothing has changed… Will i be like this forever?
I am still suffering from depression, stopped counselling because it wasn’t helping; but i realized recently i just wasn’t patient enough and i still continue to self harm as a coping method to help me through the mood swings and hatred.
On the plus side… i passed my gcses and started college- which is why my dad says i have no need to cut or be sad. Clearly he doesn’t understand what depression is…
*sigh*
What gets everyone through each horrible night and past the demons?
Do you have a father? I know everyone has, but does your dad love you? Does he remember your birthday? Does he remember, how old you are? Does he want you a good life? Or does he even want you to live?
Mine doesn’t.
Mine was ready to kill me.
Mine values beer over me.
My mum left my dad when I was 2 years, because dad threatened her and my lives. He said he’d kill mum. And when mum left, dad wouldn’t want her to have me, so he wanted to slice me in two pieces, one for him and one for mum. Or just kill me so […]
Hi Everyone,
I posted for the first time in this forum yesterday.
Today I almost made a decision to go to university of edinburgh for my masters, but then I changed my mind again. I spoke to my dad he said he does not want to pay for my masters anymore as I cant make up my mind and I am only doing it to avoid working.
Anyways Just took my anti depressant. Going to drink some alcohol and continue writing my good bye notes. I think I am getting most of the things down. Is it weird to proof read your s note?
Anyways I did absolutely […]
I started thinking about the fact that I’m different. By that, I mean that I don’t have any friends at all, and I’m always alone. I’m antisocial because I never had any social skills, not even when I a kid, my mom literally needed to push me out of the house so I could go out and make friends. Making friends was always the hardest thing to do because I was affraid of people and I was affraid they wouldn’t like me. I don’t like people at all – I always have that one tought that everyone is stupid and boring. I also have a […]
Always on my mind
Good and bad
Took my dad away
And hopefully me to
Because these horrible feelings
Stick with me like super glue
When i’m gone don’t write about me
You already did in red pen across my wrists
– A
i just want to die now… i don’t want anything from any one… no1 cares about me… not even my mom n dad….. i feel so alone …. i have nothing….. believe me…. :/
To whomever will listen,
2 years ago my mom passed away of an accidental overdose ever since then my life has been awful. Before my mom passed away it was crap, but it got worse. She past away when  i was in 7th grade it seems like yesterday. In 9th grade during a school break i was alone watching my neighbors house for her since she trusts me and she was away for the week. During the time she was gone my friend offered to get me fucked up i turned her down because i wasn’t ready to fuck up, but just a day later everything […]
I grow up with my mom yelling at me my dad coming home drunk, high, he would come home angry, he would always attack me or my brother or even my mom. I guess all the anger and sadness i have in me is because of him he abandon my family. These past few years have been the roughest i haven’t seen him in 4 years. I wont see him for another 8 he got arrested. My mom and my me havent been getting along always blaming me for everthing it sad when your own mom even says she doesnt want to be alive because […]
I feel so selfish of myself for crying over my weight and guys not noticing me
written by Now22andahalf
When just five years ago I couldn’t even talk and I was in hospitals and here I am like a normal person
having tons of friends on facebook(although I may not talk to them all) im still out there.
I drive a nice car, Thanks to my dad cosigning, I go to school now
even though im super nervous and yea I still go to malls even though its early in the morning when its first open
to avoid people(I used to love the mall) I find what works for me and im okay with that,Im sometimes just happy
to be out there in the […]
Hello, I’m portuguese, I’m fourteen years old, and I have pretty much whatever a fourteen-year-old kid would want: I have a PlayStation, a PSP, my own laptop, but I still feel like I have nothing.
My parents had a divorce when I was just eight years old, so my mum is allways saying bad things abou my dad, but on the few times, that my dad calls me, to ask if I want to go lunch with him, he never says anything bad about my mum, and that really makes me angry with my mum.
But I don’t think that it was it that makes me feel […]
It isn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I apologize in the case that I actually do. Let’s just face it, I’m not cut out for living. I can’t do things right, I’m useless to my parents, I’m only someone to make fun of, and I’m just hated by a lot of people.
My mom, Kathy, she constantly makes remarks proving just how useless I am. For example, we would walk into the Air Force Academy Clothing Sales store, she would see those stupid “My daughter goes to the Air Force Academy†bumper stickers, and she would make the comment: “I wish I could put that […]
When a person is born … what is the purpose behind that birth??? What is the purpose behind mine???? Am I just born to nearly get everything one can want and have it snatched away from me in a second??? being born with calcium deficiency and convulsions… since then it has always been a struggle… I would have died then and there but mom sells her assets to save me… but for what ??? to torture me when i grow up… to prove that i am a mistake in her life… when i din’t have an issue with her marriage… why the sudden change from […]
guys don’t check me out,the guys I like don’t like me back
Ive been trying to have sex for a week now and the guys ive been trying to hook up with like
want me to beg I lost so much weight and wear such expensive makeupo and nothing im used to it being different
its like no one see;s me or notices my beauty,I feel weird
I get weird vibes from my dad
I don’t know if anyone wants to know a little more of my past, it’s kind of like a horrible fan Fic I’ve been living in. I’ll give you some fun facts:
I am a cutter. I
I am overweight. (One of the reasons I was/am bullied. Probably the only reason)
A lot of my best/mutual friends have left me. It has been by other people’s hands.
My mom used to drink heavily and she had high dosage pain pills so the combination made my worst nightmare. She was and is (even though she stopped drinking) a horrible mother. She’s very abusive, verbally, emotionally and physically.
I’m pretty […]
My grama thinks that I dont aprisieat what my dad gives me but thats a l I do aprisieat but she keep saying Im not. My mother things Im stupid that I do everything wrong that Im lazy but is noI dont help a lot because everytime I do my mom fighs that I do it wrong. My dad was always there for me but my grama always say that i brain wash my dad so I dont talk that much with him anymore. I only had a special person in my life my best friend and started to be my love yes it was […]
Trust is a powerful word and most don’t even realize it but i learned through to many experiences that no one in this world can be 100% trusted. I trusted a group of people from a small town i used to live in and look where that got me…it ended up with me getting bullied day in and day out i trusted every girlfriend i have ever had and look ive been cheated on and used or the bullshit brake up lines like ” its not you its me ” and always over text or by Facebook. I know that their are other people in […]
I am not going into full detail of all the shit that made me who I am today but I’ll give you a little summary.
I was bullied horribly and pretty severely at a private school with 100+ kids and 20 kids in the grade. You were with the same people your whole pre-k to 8th year.
I contemplated suicide at the age of 11 and still do. I wouldn’t let my mom leave because the thoughts of it were overwhelming. She didn’t leave without me but she didn’t take it seriously. I was really going to take a knife and stab myself in the stomach. She didn’t […]
I know the knife I would use, its sharp and would do the trick.
Do I want to do it to get attention or to end the pain?
I am a mum of 3 kids, life should be rosy, but I am slowly falling into this space of ‘It would be easier f I wasn’t here’
So many things have compounded for me to be in this space that I am in.
Where so I start? We all have problems, life is not without them. But when they start to grow and each day becomes more of a burden than a blessing…Whats the point, I think I suck at […]