So the other day I was thinking about hanging it up and calling it quits, my life is complicated. I’m young but I feel like I lived life before if that makes sense? But anyway tied the belt around my neck and put it in a knot twice and was about to hang it up in my room, I tested it to see if it would hold my weight it did, and just as soon as I was about to give it another try my cat wonders in my room and starts purring and I put the belt down and started playing with my cat […]
Tag:
Dad
To whom ever says they know me
If I didn’t want to live
Here is what I’d give
I’d give the breathe that fills my lungs
The food that will taste sour to my tongue
I would give the wayward mind I have
The undecided and unknown path
I’d give up everything
If I didn’t want to live
If I didn’t like humanity
Understand without unnecessary pity
We are overly selfish and dramatic
Obnoxiously annoying and spastic
We dwell to long on things I want forgotten
Too many people assume how I’ve gotten
If I didn’t like humanity
Perhaps I didn’t want to live
If I didn’t like myself
Here is the basic line up on the shelf
I am pudgy to others […]
That sure has been the case with a few of my most important posts. 😛
I hate everything about the world. Today my dad got mad at me because I was by myself at a theme park looking for my group. He says I would have “no chance” against any fat fuck trying to pull me into a van because I’m “16 and 5-foot nothing.” Also, yesterday, I was out walking, and a boy in a car rolled down a window and shouted “Take it off, *****!” at me. I’ve gone through this a number of times. I’ve been whistled at and shouted at by boys […]
Just now. It was over something really stupid, a game with my younger sisters. I was pretending to be asleep, they were trying to wake me up. Dad asked if we wanted to go to the pool. I didn’t, so I kept pretending. They mocked me, called me rude, and said they knew I would move from that position as soon as they left. Harmless kid stuff, really. But as soon as they left, I just started crying. I knew I was going to lose and I just didn’t want to lose. I looked for ways to ‘get revenge’ I found none. I took a […]
My dad hung himself on March 18th, 2013. Actually it could have been the 19th no one is exactly sure. It was my spring break and I was at the beach with a few of my friends and my girlfriend. I didn’t find out til that Thursday which I think was the 21st. My phone had been dead for a day or two and I didn’t bother to charge it, I guess I didn’t think anything important was going to happen. I finally charged and turned off my phone and saw that I had received a text from my rabbi and a woman in my […]
I can’t believe I let my manipulating ex back into my life! All he does is use me. My best friend/sister has been gone for over a month and I have no one else. I was weak and vulnerable, and he took advantage of me.
My family, needless to say, notice nothing. My dad is too busy with work, my step mother is a self ***** and my grandparents and aunt prefer my younger cousins over me. My mother hasn’t tried to contact me sine Christmas 2011.
The pain is eating at my insides, but I have no way to let it out. I used to cut […]
I don’t understand why I feel pain like this. It’s completely unbearable. Two years ago I was diagnosed with severe depression. i’ve spent these last two years in therapy and searching everywhere for something to make me feel better. I’ve tried therapy, ten different anti-depression drugs, hypnosis, acupuncture, acupressure.. the list goes on and on. on top that i’m victim to horrible anxiety attacks that can strike at any moment without warning, i usually get about two or three a day. they make me curl up into a ball and wait to die. my family has abandoned me because i cause everyone around me pain […]
Being happy occasionally is starting to be a part of my life. It’s hard to think last month I ended up in hospital after trying to kill myself. I overdosed on Paracetamol. It was incredibly painful and didn’t work. My little brother saw me in hospital. I wonder how he feels. I didn’t want him to be there. My dad brought him down. My mother and father are splitting up. I worry about my brother a lot. I broke up with my boyfriend who I had almost been dating a year. Now I’m scared to have another one again. I have some amazing […]
Lately I’ve been feeling really sad. I cut myself yesterday and regret it :c idkkkk man.
I feel so alone, and my moms been bringing me down again. She calls me low life and lazy, and asks me when I’m gonna get a job, and what am I gonna study and all this shit. I’m 17 years old, and still young, fuck idk what I want to do or be yet, it’s going to take a long time for me to figure it out. I want to travel and meet people and see things form different perspectives. Why does life have to be so fucking rushed. […]
Hi, nobody’s even gonna read this but I guess it’s better to let it out.
I’m Lara, I live in the UK. I have a loving family, good friends and a pretty great life. I have a lot more than I need and i’m very grateful for what I have. But something just isn’t right. For two years now, i’ve been having thoughts of suicide and have been inflicting pain on myself. I don’t feel the pain anymore. Around the time I started having these thoughts, my friend was diagnosed with slight depression and bipolar disorder but her mood swings were far less severe than mine. […]
So in my family, my parents are very crazy about what  I wear not my brothers just me. I have to wear long sleeved shirts and long pants no shorts no low cut shirts no tight clothing which I mean isn’t really bad but it gets annoying when I see all these girl in different styles and I can only wear long pants and long shirts(the shirts also have to fully cover my butt) I can’t wear high heels or make up and my  dad freaks when I do. Today I wore a shirt with a. V neck and my dad went ballistic he said […]
Im 20 years old and I’ve had thoughts of suicide since i was 15 years old. I dont have a long drawn out sad story or history of abuse of any kind. I have a loving family & a boyfriend but i have never felt more alone. I often ask myself “How can you have so much but still feel like you have nothing ” . I have never figured out the answer. Im just so unhappy it almost scares me how many times I’ve actually sat in my bathroom , held pills , razors etc. and almost ended my life. Some part of me […]
Well, isn’t this great. Just when my suicidal thoughts start to lessen, i start having homocidal ones. Last night I was looking at my little 5-year-old brother, who I love and adore. And then I started laughing like a freaking maniac. I didn’t know why I did. It just felt so good to laugh. I realised later why I laughed so demonically. It was because I wanted to kill him. I wanted to slit his throat. I don’t want to kill him, or anyone, for that matter now. I don’t know why…it was like I wasn’t even in control of myself. I just don’t […]
I’m alone…The people I care about couldn’t care less about me. I finally found someone, and I truly, honestly loved her. I would do anything for her. And today she left me…I was 2 months clean, but that changed today. I took my razor and cut myself 6 times. I don’t want to live without her. I just want someone who cares. My mom is letting the ex boyfriend who beat her back into the house, my “friends” Â pretty much don’t care about me. I’m alone. My dad decided that across the state is where he wanted to be, instead of closer to me so […]
I wanna know what I did so horrible to get such a harf life like this I’m only 17 yrs old I lost my brother & dad to suicide I’m homeless my mom couldn’t care any less about me. It seems like all everyone ever wants to do is hurt & break me down What have I done to get such a hard life? Im terrified or death but it seems like its the only way out of this piece of shit life I have? What is the real meaning of all that I’m being put through cause it isnt to make me stronger. I […]
I can’t do this.
With every new experience, everything I do, I just get broken down more by how stupid the world is.
I always thought I got out of my parents’ house, faced my fears, I’d be ok. That everything would get better. But now I’m moved out and everything still sucks.
Boyfriend is away for two and a half weeks. It hasn’t even been one and I’m meh and depressed and mad. He said we’d talk “lots.” Lots for us is constantly. We’ve barely talked at all. I’ve talked to his older brother more than to him. And mostly I’m just mad at his parents for […]
this week was by far the worst. my dad went to Darwin for the week for work and my sister and I were fighting non stop but of course every fight was my fault. my mum always blames it on me and gives me punishments but not to my sister! my sister has this way of making it my fault all the time, like even though im stopping her from doing a bad thing I get in trouble. on Wednesday night my mum was driving me to ipsha for our musical and I got angry because we were really late and she wouldn’t drop me off because it […]
my frends had prom today its all over facebook… i didunt go… i dont even have a girlfrend to hug or a frend… im the sad lonly kid who knw one whants to help cos it will bring them down… crying my eys out chane smoking… this is something i will regret for the rest of my life i startid to cut agen… my dad says im nothing and you may be reading this now thinking “but im your frend” well thank you for that but idk when your siting in your room smoking with asleep playing havent been out for days no money stragly […]
ive gotten fat… im getting better at putting on a smile. ive been dressing nicer and more preppy. ive been laughing more. ive been crying less. ive been arguing more. ive been thinking ab0ut him more. ive been treated worse. ive been told everything will be ok but ive been told that before. ive been keeping everything inside like i used to. im reverting back to the old me. perfect pretty girl. loud and outgoing sarcastic with everything put together. hah what a fucking joke. but i am so good at keeping everything in. ive only been cutting on my wrists so i can hide […]
I’m not sure how to say this, I’ve never posted on something like this before. But I quit.
I’m turning 18 in almost 2 weeks, but I don’t think I’ll last that long. I’m depressed, I have been for a while, but instead of accepting that and finding a way to cope with it, my dad is ignoring it. I really noticed it after my mom passed away a year and a half ago. Granted, it’s normal to be sadder than usual during that time, I realize this. To try and cheer up, I tried looking back at the time before we learned she had cancer, […]