My best friend is in Ohio, and I’m stuck here in New Jersey. He’ll only be there for a week, and he’s coming home on Friday, but then I’m going to Pennsylvania for a few days with my Dad to see two bands (Skillet + Hawk Nelson). He doesn’t have internet, and I certainly won’t. He’s my lifeline, the only concrete reason I live for. Sure, I could say that I live for the breathtaking surrealness when you go to a concert, and see the band(s) that you’ve listened to at your darkest moment. Or that I live for fireworks on the 4th of July. […]
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Dad
Hey sp. So just a little update I just returned home from my 2 week stay with my dad in Hawaii. It was absolutely beautiful and if anyone is looking for a beautiful and peaceful place to think about life definitely that is a place to visit and get your head together. Unfortunately my experience wasnt too great because of my bad relationship with my dad… He actually grabbed and shoved me after getting in my face and screaming and cussing me out. I thought he was going to actually hurt me but I got out of the house before he could physically harm me […]
Wanna commit suicide? Imagine this.
You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible experience. You were bullied, teased, etc. You go to get your blades, pills, rope, anything. You go get that suicide note that you wrote forever ago. You thought you would never use it. So did everyone else. You cut yourself so deep. The blood won’t stop. You take 5 extra pills. You tie the rope around your neck. You tie it to the ceiling fan. You’re dead. There’s no going back. Your parents get home from work, your siblings home from school. They call your name like a normal […]
I went to my old high school today. It was awful. I arrived and I couldn’t find anyone for a while so I just decided to randomly walk around the building for a while. I got made fun of for wearing my sunglasses indoors by some random dude (really? REALLY???) who apparently thought I was ‘trying to be cool’ (in reality I was just really fucking stoned… how sheltered are these people?)… I eventually ran into an old teacher of mine who found one of my old friends and I went to sit with her and two other visitors (apparently, she’s really popular??). I was […]
I’m 14 . In 2009 , in 5th grade my Dad passed away. At the time he passed I was being bullied in school. Everyday was a living hell. I didn’t fear the people there, but I was just afraid of what new they had to say about me . When i came home and my mom told me my Dad died it was devastating, i thought of suicide and tried. No one new. I know that one thing that killed me inside was that no one was there for me when my dad passed , no one was there when i was being bullied […]
the last time i will see the sun come up as i wake
the last time i will look in my closet for what to wear
the last time i kiss my mother goodbye on the way to school
the last time i walk the halls of the murders that killed my confidence
the last time i wave goodbye to my best friend as im getting off the bus
the last time i will greet my younger brothers home from school
the last time i will help with dinner and dishes
the last time i call my dad to tell him i love him
i now dress in my finest clothes
i get the […]
*My mom is mentally and partially physically abusive
*my dad didn’t want anymore kids, aka, me
*my sisters raised me, then left me with my mother
*my dad is never home
*my dad never talks to me
*I was molested and taught to masturbate at age six by my sisters friend
*my mother openly talks about my idiocy and stupidity to strangers
*I have been suicidal since 6th grade
*my mom left me in 4th grade
*I’ve been convinced that its okay to give my body away
*I’ve been raped
*I have commitment issues
*I’ve tried to commit suicide twice
*I have an addiction to cutting
*I’ve been bullied because I’m different, emo, a kandi kid, scene, bisexual, on […]
I have 3 brothers, sister and mother. My dad suffers from dementia… My sister is my only sibling, whos been acting like a real one. Mother said that my birth was the biggest mistake ever in her life and she’d be so happy if I had offed myself. She blames my narcotic painkiller addiction which I developed after I was hit by a speeding car and by a miracle survived. It hurts. It really hurts, I always wanted to love my brothers and especially my mother. I’ve found my salvation in helping random people whenever I can. I guess their gratitude compensates somehow for the […]
So here I am after failing the first time. Let’s go back to the night of the 26th of May, for the full story.
I was feeling awful that night, it was another one of my bouts of guilt and depression. But this one was different, while normally, they happen for no apparent reason and last for a few hours, half a day at most, this one lasted for 3 days, after an incident with a boy from my class. We’ll say he wasn’t well-liked, and he was awkward, sweaty and not the best looking either. He came up and asked to be my partner for […]
Im tired of living. You can work so hard for something and still end up with nothing. I keep chasing dreams that i think will make me happy but then realize that there is no such thing as happiness. I think to myself how i want kids someday and my time is running out but why would i want to bring a kid into this shitty world? Why would i want to hand over my mental issues to another human being through my genes just so they can suffer? Am i really seeing this miserable place for what it is and just giving up on […]
I’ve posted about my mother before and how we really don’t get along. I am so sick of having to sit and listen to her complain about my dad, and now she’s saying that he’s making us move house for his own reasons (I don’t live with my dad, he won’t have me). Then she said it, that when we move house she wants me to go and live somewhere else. She’s happy for my 22-year-old brother to stay with her and my 19-year-old sister, but not me. What are you supposed to do when even your own mum doesn’t want you?
hi i dont really know where to start but i guess i can start by saying im suicidal. ive been depressed for a long time and im still not sure why. i really wish i could have the courage to tell someone but i dont . im too scared they’ll make fun of me or will worry too much and i dont want that. i really know i need help but im just not sure why im so scared to tell. my dad is so understanding that he could help and my mom could help too i just dont know… i also dont know why […]
That is not tough love or correction its pure hatred. U like fut jmIcan guy, your dad ends w f, im going to hell. They cup prt of my hip off…u know I died in the wtc. I’m a pig. True love always wins. Who in their right mind ever loved or wanted you or even considered u a beautiful.girl. God wants winners not bum dirt fornicating lowers or liars. What a cruel tool I am. Future jmaicn guy I love.
On July 26, 2013, I will be sad, depressed, and all kinds of crap will be going on in my mind. Why? That day will mark the 3rd year that I lost my father to suicide.
My father was the most kindest mad you would have ever met. He would give his shirt off his back to a stranger. He use to tell me and my siblings and friends that “there is nothing wrong with being yourself.”
How can a man with such a big heart want to end all of that? And where was I when it happened?
I was about to take my last exam of […]
I’m going to try and give my story the best way I can. I haven’t been on this Earth for a very long time, and I’ve been plagued by problems (but not as much compared to come of the posts I’ve read on here). I started having suicidal thoughts when I was about 10, and I’ve had them ever since. I started having them because I was being bullied very badly at school. My Mother (who is going to appear many times in this story), also picked on me but not as bad. Fast forward 2 years from then, I started getting homeschooled, and my […]
all my life , I’ve been that fat girl, the ugly girl. The girl noone wants to be around. Okay . I’ve had my fights and stuff but I just still don’t get why nooone has ever liked me. I’ve had ftoends and boufroends but I always find out what they really think of me.. its always my personality .. Im numb.. all I do sometimes is cry. My dad used to be an alcoholic now my mom is an abusive alcoholic.. my first love is now gay.. Im 17 years old.. I weigh 200 pounds. I have acne all over my face and body […]
When i was about two years old, my mum left me in a small house with an 11 year old babysitter for a whole weekend to get drunk.
I remember people telling me that i would have been in care if it wasn’t for my Dad, although now that i’m growing into my teenage years he doesn’t pay any attention to me. I live with my Nan and Granddad. My Granddad is maybe the only person i appreciate, along with my best friends. I obviously love my family, but i feel awkward around my Dad, and my Nan’s constantly drunk and angry, and she’s spending all […]
Im not gonna try to post something extremely witty and dark and intellectual and poetic.. i just cant sleep again and im hoping that posting this will clear my mind and i could get some advice from people who possibly feel the same way as me. I could list every terrible thing thats ever happened to me and all the times ive tried to kill myself and all the addictions ive had but thatd take too long and im tired and lazy. So basically, im depressed, im bipolar, im insecure, im lonely, and i feel like nobody cares about me apart from my immediate family. […]
I am a person in my mid 20’s, and I suck. My dad went on a twenty min. rant on how I suck this morning, I’m broke and have no future, the girl I’m obsessed with is with another dude, and most of all I’m an embarrasement freak of a person on a objective level. No one loves me or will, I don’t believe in god (for logical, not emotional reasons). Hell I’ve had a relative that laughed at me for crying because my childhood dog died. No one has ever loved me, not family, not people in a relationship with me, […]
I’ve been trying to figure this out for years. I’ve always had “mommy/daughter” issues. But they’re one-sided. I know we have them, she doesn’t. I’ve tried to explain to her that I don’t like what she does or how I am being treated, and she just brushes it off. I mean sure, we have our great moments. Yesterday, we went to Southlands Mall, (It’s in CO), and she actually offered to go into Hot Topic. I was very surprised, but then realized that she wouldn’t approve of anything I wanted to get. So I said no, and followed her into Bath and Body Works. She’s pretty […]