I was abused as a child. I can’t remember so many things! I have so many empty spots in my memory that I can’t deal with! I began self harming in elementary school. I haven’t been clean for longer than two weeks since. I want to die so badly! I can’t deal with the pressure from my family, the disappointment in their eyes when they look at me, knowing how much more disappointed they’d be if they found out I’m not as straight as they think. I am everything they hate. I can’t do anything right in their eyes, yet they expect so much from […]
Life itself is meaningless.. no real reason to try.. at anything, even goals set in strive…. plummet like an insignificant shirker…
Ugh… the joys of yesterdays tainted upon tomorrow’s dread..
A life lived in agony and deceit..
No real reason for posting.. possibly the inevitable delay in death which isnt of my own hands… if only… such strength would allow me.. yet ties to this forsaken earth keep me from spreading the wings of death
What real point do I have here?
There isnt one… take it in strife and do not reply but yet grant me the serenity to express that which needs forclosure… that which is this life………
“Meh […]
The relative anonymity of this site makes this possible. I have a soul that thrives on confession and a mind that recognizes when that’s a bad thing.
A month or so before finding out I was pregnant with my second son I attempted suicide. I was in a very abusive relationship and I felt trapped. Looking back I am aware that wasn’t the case but it felt like it. On top of the abuse I dealt with a lifelong sense of worthlessness and insecurity.
I consumed nearly a fifth of cheap vodka as fast as I could and ate 20 percocets. My boyfriend found me […]
I can’t get help, and it’s going to kill me.
Being transgender, a lot of my normal life, when I’m not suicidal, depends on my ability to get medical treatment- much of which involves therapists asking me, time and time again, if I’ve had any intentions of hurting myself in recent times. I really need to talk about it. I want to get help. But I know that if I say anything, I could end up far more depressed, and being denied treatment I desperately need.
I am kind of in a constant state of being suicidal- it never really goes away. I can be at my […]
Hello!
So I have a few questions about the method of overdosing. See, what I really want to do is use helium or ********, but I’m not in a position where I can get the necessary equipment. Anyway, I’m probably going to overdose on pills. But I really don’t want to deal with the throwing up and pain. So I was wondering, if I took some strong sleeping pills before, or just overdosed on sleeping pills, do you think I’d fall asleep first and stay asleep? Because that would be ideal. Thank you!
Honestly I thought I would be dead by now, and not having to deal with everything I am having to deal with now. I wish I was dead. I feel like a burden to my sister who has been trying to take care of me. I used to live with my boyfriend but he wasn’t sure if he could handle it anymore. I still can’t forgive a lot of the hurtful things he has said. Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off without him in my life. Even now, most of my things are in his possession so I can’t really end things. […]
Someone who I loved an.d cared about very deeply promised me we would be together and start a family. He wanted me to prove I was serious about him by having my IUD removed. After going back and forth on the decision,I finally decided this was the commitment I wanted to make and I was ready. so after I had it removed he started acting uninterested in me. He said he was going through a lot and needed his space. I never could get in touch with him after that other than some hurriedn conversations . I even asked him flat out if he was […]
just wanted to say goodbye to all you ppl. it was nice while it lasted. lately theres been alot of trolling and impersonating. and before i start hating ppl who are pretending to be other ppl that were nothing but nice to me… im just gonna leave and not come back. its too bad that some ppl have to ruin things like a great chat ive been coming to for years and meeting great ppl in but i suppose it is the internet. but i can see this escalating and its just bullshit that i dont want to deal with right now. so bye […]
im at this point where I just want to end it all.
the only bad thing is, i’m trying so hold to hang on.
most people say, well if you had time to write this, then you aren’t going to do this.
I want to so bad but I don’t want to.
I want to die so I don’t have to deal with these people anymore
so I don’t have to feel sad anymore
but I can’t wait for the day I leave for my grandparents house.
that’s the only reason i’m holding on.
I just wany yhis pain to end.
I don’t WANT to die, but that’s the only way I know how […]
Hey guys.
I made a new video and guess what? I hate it. You know why? Because the person I made it for didn’t even appreciate it.
I don’t even know any more.
I’m losing happiness. I thought I got out of the tunnel. I just… don’t know any more. I don’t want to deal with any more pain. But I also don’t want to die. But, it seems as if the only way to not feel pain any more is to die. Why must God or whatever put me in such a position? I have died once, and I don’t plan to die a second time. But […]
Life. This never ending charade of lows marred by a few high points. Here I am once again and no, I do not feel good. I put up one heck of a fight but it wasn’t enough. Rather it was against the wrong opponent. I slaved away, hacked every piece of work to tiny shreds and earned my vacation. Achievement? Yeah probably but it did nothing to make me feel better. Quite the opposite, my slaving away left me in an all too common spot in life. All the friends i had graduated and because i dedicated everything to work. I turned invisible, uninteresting again. […]
One of my main reasons I’m currently NOT doing anything is I’m concerned about my friends who will have to deal with the aftermath. My previous methods of self-harm and suicide attempts have been cutting or overdosing. If I did that where I am now one of my housemates would either have to wake up to that or come home from work to it. (Either self-harm or suicide).
So I was thinking more about trains or bridges. Which is not something I’d ever thought of before. But it seemed less selfish to the people I love? However when I was at the psych hospital yesterday and […]
Im new here and i found this site by typing in im so fucked up in the mind. Cause I really am. If you knew me you wouldnt believe it. I run cross country and track really fast. Get told I’m intelligent all the tune. I love computers and gaming. I used to use it as an escape spending hours in my ruin on a game to avoid reality. Then i started smoking in eight grade. I slowly went down hill and od’d on pills. This year was my freshman year i got alcohol poisoning. Here recently i started smoking weed and you know i […]
There was inter star meet.
Where organizer auctioning different planets
For some reason, I brought planet earth hoping it will be profitable
When I see into it, it is full of species called humans
Only 20% of those species are really useful for me
I separated brain out of those 20% humans and threw remaining part(body) of the humans and also I threw away that useless planet
Now I realized these preserved brains are useless because those brains are so screwed up with concepts like god, billion year old concepts of physics, crap philosophy and full of self-convincing power.
To solve a problem which I can in a day, they took 10 […]