I’m 18 years old, and I’m done with life. It all started when I was 12. I started self harming. I’m not really sure why I started, but I couldn’t stop. Anytime anything went wrong, I would cut. 6 years later, I’m still cutting. I can’t control the urge, ive tired so hard to stop… but I just can’t. I’m covered in scars. I’ve seen therapists, counsellors, every kind of mental health professional you can think of and they still can’t find out what treatment works for me. They’ve tried it all. I’ve been sexually abused by a man who is still walking free, abandoned […]
Tag:
Depressed
I get told all the time that ‘everything will get better’. It doesn’t. Things get better for a while, a few weeks, a few months, even a whole year! But the depression never truly goes away. It’s always there. Suicide will always be there as a last resort.
I am sorry for posting something negative, I wish I could post something more inspiring, but then I’d be lying the whole time.
I have been been happy for a few months now, and I thought I was getting better overall. Things were finally looking up for me. But as soon as something totally bad happens, I revert back […]
Ok first off, yes I’m fat. But being told from a guy that your fat, useless and ugly really hurts. I’ve been called down all my life by my mom and other family member, people at school . There’s not a lot I can take in life. I’m very self conscious. I think about my image all the time. I’ve never felt like this until I started getting called down. I never thought I was ‘fat’ I knew I had a little more weight then skinny people, but I’m not extremely fat. I just have a little extra meat. Now I think if myself as […]
My demons creep back into my room and rip me to shreds…. Leave me with tears, scars, and blood dripping from my legs…. Who cares though right? I mean that’s how I live life everyday… With the people around me.. Who say they’ll stay?
I mean they said it’d be okay.. But honestly this “okay” feeling has yet to come.. So here I am once again putting on the same mask to hide my true expression.
Though I may smile it doesn’t mean I feel how I look… Looks can be deceiving.. And one might say that I’m a master of deception. I scream for […]
Too many people telling me what to do,
but I am only one person.
So when I don’t do what they wanted me to,
they weigh me down.
They expect me to be happy…
But how do they expect me to do that?
I mean there has to be tears, scars, and pain…
lots of it…
So when you find the blood on me and the empty bottles…
Don’t be surprised to see it…
But be surprised when I tell you,
“You’re the reason.”
-Phe
I hear voices in my head
I believe fairies dwell in flower beds
The night is a mystery and not my friend
For I see things at every corner and end
I cry for four days a week
Because of blame and sorrow my heart can’t keep
My dreams, like everyone else, have gone
Because they too are tired to go on
I don’t believe I belong
Life has been singing that to me like a song
I am a poet, but to everyone my poems appear
To be of sadness, yearn, insecurity, and fear
There’s a new voice in my head
That says I’d rather be better off as dead
But since I’m still present
And death may seem […]
Not depressed coz somebody died. He was old, never knew him well, he was my paternal uncle, he barely cared for his own kids let alone me.
I braved my social anxiety to attend the funeral. I had an idea what it would be like, and I’m not sorry I went. I was dreading being asked what I do etc. That didn’t happen.
No, I was a part of something, accepted and my presence unconditionally valued as I am a family member and this branch of my family are very keen on family.
It was a nice short service at the crematorium, and there was no God stuff, […]
Honestly, whats the point anymore? i hate life, and life hates me, who gives a damn if i go to hell. im already living in it, i can deal with it. And i wouldnt doubt it being better than my own pathetic life. If anyway i wanna go is going to be overdosing, cuz my mom has a big bottle of sleeping pills, and i could easily kill the whole bottle. Cant do a rope, since i dont know how to tie a noose, and i dont know where i could i put the rope, to hold my fat ass. Cutting too deep, i dont […]
I have been living this fucked up life for almost 3 years now. i am a huge failure. in academics. in sports. in love. in almost everything. My parents think that i should never have been born . I put their head down un front of public. They want to make me an Engineer , but i don’t even know what i want to do . i just want to die. its not just about them . i am too fucked up . i am geniunely a big paranoid that everyone hates me for no reason. i am constantly hoping things will get better but […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Yiruma-Moon-Light.mp3
I’m tired. I’m just tired.
I’m tired of food. I’m tired of television. I’m tired of work. I’m tired of school. I’m tired of going outside. . I’m tired.
Anytime someone asks how I am, my answer isn’t “I’m fine”
The answer is “I’m tired”
I’ve lost any shred of hope that I might of had. And I don’t see the point.
And the funny thing? I’m tired…but I can’t sleep.
I guess I’m not physically tired. I’m mentally and emotionally tired.
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
I don’t feel like going anywhere. I don’t feel like talking.
I seriously […]
I don’t even know why I’m typing this to be honest, right now I feel reckless and restless and bored and tired.
I’m fed up of being poor and being tired and feeling like I’m being judged for every little thing I say and do.
I’m tired of being ugly. I hate how my face looks, with it’s stupid round jaw and lumpy nose and disgusting frizzy short hair, I hate how I look fat in every photo, I hate how I am fat, acres and acres of disgusting wobbly blotchy skin wobbling away, taking up too much space.
I hate how much I wish I could stop […]
Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??
by niki
written by niki
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
I hate this boring, bored reality / real life / real world, I hate this life, this LIMITED world, and I hate people/humans ..!!
by niki
written by niki
Movies, books, video games, novels, comics, anime/manga, etc etc, basically human’s IMAGINATIONS is a hundred times FAR much more interesting than this very LIMITING reality / real-world / real-life here in this world!
and what’s even worse is that most (about 90%) of humans / people I meet & know everyday are mostly stupid, shallow, superficial, mundane/boring, money and profits and image driven only, ignorant,.. mostly human beings especially today these days are much more bad & hopeless ..!!
(there are -thankfully/luckily?- only FEW humans/people that I like, eg: the very creative/imaginative & ‘other-worldly’ artists who created/made all those awesome fantasy, sci-fi stories, novels, books, […]
I think the root of the problem is that I haven’t got a reason to live.
Everybody else does, for everybody’s got that one special someone, special hobby, or special band. Sure, I listen to some bands and I have a few friends and hobbies, but it’s never enough.
Let me tell you something; being depressed, it’s obvious. There is a kid in my math class, and he often asked if I was depressed and suicidal and gave me hugs all of the time. Keep in mind that this kid is rather odd and dramatic. Most people just think him annoying, but I was fairly decent friends with […]
Hey, I’m sixteen years old (almost seventeen) and I just really can’t cope anymore. I have no reason to live.
I’ve not had friends in years. Nobody wants to talk to me unless they want something off of me. And because I want friends really bad, I just let them use me, but then they leave. I guess I could say I have abandonment issues. I’ve been basically abandoned my whole life.
I don’t exactly have a family either. Well, they’re there, but I don’t even exist to them unless they want something from me (usually money) Which yes, sounds oddly strange since I’m only 16, but […]
So basically this is my first post and it’s going to be shitty sorry.
…buuut yeah, my name is Brianna and honestly, I don’t want to be living here on this bullshit planet any longer. I’m tired of getting judged by the music I listento, the clothes I wear, what I look like the next day, and so forth. My life to me is honestly completely useless. I wake up everyday feeling like a mistake, and that I should’ve never been born. I’ve been called names like slut, emo, ****, *****, and been told that no one likes me, I’m depressed all the time, I […]
I’ve been fighting with my lover often lately and today he said that it might be best for us if he pulled the plug. The reason why I’ve been fighting with him is because I’m a complicated stupid *****. I don’t know what to do anymore. I wish I could change and I’m trying so hard, but it doesn’t work. The idea of killing myself came across my mind a few times and now it’s here more than ever. I need him right now, but he’s not here. I’ve been drinking and hurting myself … I wish I had the strength to stab myself … […]
Since when did life become working 5 or 6 days a week. Sitting in traffic an hour each way mind you. Despite living less than 15 minutes away from work, it takes a miracle to get home in under an hour most days. All that just to barely make a descent income, to support myself, pay bills, and whatever is left that the government doesn’t take from me I save some and spend the rest on gas and groceries. It’s like an endless cycle. There’s no denying I’m depressed and in need of serious help. And I’m not talking about the help that comes in […]
I’m sixteen, afraid of death but overcome by thoughts, people, judgement. I used to be mad all the time but now? Sad, depressed, not a full day I can say I’m proud of myself, that I’m accepted and that’s fine, I don’t need highschool opinions/rumours. I don’t want to die but I don’t want all this stress, of the future, of the past, of people. Forgive me for boring you.