The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill himself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the […]
Tag:
Depression
I’m new here, and I take a lot of courage to open an account and post this… When I was reading some of the stories written here , I no longer felt alone. Now I see I’m not the only one suffering for love, I’m not the only one who feels to die because of someone else…
Sorry if my English is not good, but, it’s not my native language. I hope everyone can understand me…
This is a little bit of my story .
It all started when i was 15, I met a wonderful guy. Maybe he wasn’t the most handsome, but he was the MOST […]
This my first time on this site. I was able to have the opportunity to read many of other’s post in despair as well as others post of acknowledgement and support. I don’t wish anyone the sadness, loneliness, hopeless, and most of all worthlessness that comes with Depression or with any other mental illness for that matter. It is sad, but comforting to know there are others out there who feel the same way I do, and from all different background and stories. I have struggled with Depression since I was a teenager and now I am in my late 20’s and it […]
Let me start from the beginning. (I’m now revising this and this definitely did not go in the order I thought it would)
I don’t want to reveal my identity too much so i’ll play this safe and call myself Kai.
I’m seventeen years old, eighteen in March. I’m a transgender boy (born female) and i’m gay. My mom’s side of the family is one of the biggest group of unsupportive close minded people you will ever meet. Ever since I was young, I knew i felt different than my siblings and cousins. My family tries to look like your average apple pie and a […]
I’m here because I don’t know what to do now…
The easiest way to put his is to say that I am lost, tired and hopeless. Suicide has been on my mind for months now and the more I try to push it away the more it grows stronger.
When the depression started a year ago, I made myself promise that I would never ever, ever hurt myself.I love my parents, my family, my friends and the random people I meet that are full of life, kindness and appreciation. I also told myself that I am a fortunate human being. I was born in a poor country […]
I have a habit of rejecting the good and accepting the bad. I pushed away my girlfriend because I wanted drugs and she’s against them. I lied to her saying I was clean and how I’m never going back to that life, but honestly I am still living that life. All I look forward to is getting high. The other day she told me she still loves me and I was horrible to her. I told her to get over it that I’ll never love her back. I told her I was with my ex again, the girl who I cried about to her saying […]
Depression is like a bottomless pit. You can tell someone you’re falling and you just don’t see an end to it, but they tell you to be thankful you’ve never came crashing to the bottom. Why would I be thankful for never hitting the bottom, even if at an extreme force. I’ll never stop falling. I’ll never know anything but falling or the peace of finding the end I’ve been dreaming of. Nothing I do fucking matters. I can’t stop my falling, I’ll soon never be able to see the light again.. Everything is just getting darker and I’m tired of falling..
There are so many ways to help yourself other than stuffing your self with pills and seeing a therapist . I’ve never done either of those so I don’t really know what it’s like , but I have friends that tell me self therapy is so much better and that is ….
Art.
I’ve been recently starting calligraphy . It’s so interesting .. And hard . & it’s beautiful .
For Christmas my mom bought me a zen coloring book too . And it’s nice because I’m just paying attention to coloring in between the lines .
I think art is a good way to help yourself . It’s […]
You Wont Break Me ..
Cuz You Just Made Me …
Stronger Than I Was ..
I’m killing myself before I go back to school. How? I don’t know. I just know I am. Everything is just adding up to being a crappy year. I’ve had so little to hold onto. Depression has hit me like a semi truck, anxiety the wheels that ran me over. School is terrible, I pushed my friends away, my ex gf got cancer, and to top it off, we were supposed to go on a skype date but she fell in love with someone else. So yeah. I have nothing. No will to live.
To my friends: no. This was not your fault. Many of you […]
I get a bit depressed any time I’m away from the other Buddhists. I mean, it’s exhausting for me mentally and physically to chant for 6 hours on Sundays. That was just today. Its normally 2 hours and even then I feel I’m about to pass out. My disabilities get in the way of everything in life. The worst part is when you’re poor, you can’t get anyone to say you’re disabled, because they don’t want you to get any benefits. A middle class or rich person who went through what I went through would have been handed a wheelchair from day 1. I was […]
Hello my fellow survivors of deepression 🙂
If you were a superhero, or super sexy not so villain villain, who’s one purpose was to combat suicide and depression
What would be your super power and how would you use it?
I think of going to the hospital for help. Facing that humiliating moment when you tell them that you’re there not because you want to save your life but because you want to die. I think of the uncomfortable hours I will wait before the very busy nurse comes to talk to me. I know that when she does talk to me, we will be interrupted by several people for several reasons. Paperwork, room needs restocking, garbage needs emptying. Time is up. All of the things that harbor a good honest conversation. Yes these things will bother me, but if I say anything I will […]
As the days go by, I only feel myself desiring to kill myself more and more. I loathe more, I argue more, I withdraw more. When things go wrong, its the only thought I have. When things go right, I remind myself that it wont last. I hate feeling like no matter what improvements I make, I’m still put down, I’m still living off others, I’m still worthless. When I try, I just find myself exhausted. All that ever brings me relief is to sleep and I think that’s only because its the closest thing I can do to death without actually killing myself. I […]
We’d been together for exactly 2 years and 10 months when she broke up with me. Two weeks ago, we’d been happy. I never believed this could happen. I think I’m still in shock. She called me wife sometimes and said she felt like we were already married. We had a future planned, including kid names and a possible move overseas.
Maybe it would be easier if the reason we broke up was because we weren’t a good couple. I’m not entirely clear on the reasons she broke up with me- I’m not sure even she is – but I can make a good guess. She has […]
Ive been struggling, struggling so much. Having no one to turn to is becoming a routine. Im almost accustomed to it really. I don’t even expect people to text/call me anymore. I don’t expect anything from anyone, and i never will honestly. Once you make a few mistakes, you’re labeled at “attention seeking”, crazy, bipolar, depressed. Ive only been home for a few months now, I was locked up for eight months, going through hell and then some. I guess you can say things fell apart completely after my sister committed suicide almost five years ago. I guess the problem was I was so young, […]
And my thoughts spiral, how funny it is that the empath is the one that needs help themselves.
It’s been a while since she died. She was my world and I was hers. The main thing I remember was the sunshine always shone from and through her, she was always the nicest and most giving, generous person.
Should I have wondered why?
Apparently she was planning her death since before she met me. I never saw any of it, all I saw was her mask and it never slipped. I think I gave her hope, until one night, after her parents had physically abused her.
I received a phone […]
Hi there person reading this my name is Barry :D. I hope you would read my story and how I’m at the point of just..being done. *Excuse my horrid grammar/spelling*
It all started when I started to live with my Mom. l had a step-dad, but I never really got to meet my real dad since he died in a car accident. It was around the age of 7 I think I moved with my Mom since I used to live with my grandma.
During elementary school people would judge me because of the way I walked. They used to say I always stuck out my chest […]
It took a lot of planning. A lot of planning. There are things I think I’d miss, too. Things I’ll never get to do. But in the end, they say it’s the journey, not the destination. It makes sense, because the journey would be life. And the destination would be death.
So, I guess I should have started this way, but Dear Random People:
It’s so much easier to write a suicide note when you pretend it’s not to the people I’m going to hurt. And honestly, I’m really, really sorry from the bottom of my heart (which will be not be beating soon if all goes as planned). There’s […]
Its 2015 Before May my cousin still keeps on doing the same dame things to me I wish he would stop which he did around my he came back but with a girl good god yes his stop I thought. But no when his girl wasnt around he would still do the sexual things but this time he whispered in my ear while he forced me to have sex with him and took my v card but he told me “to bad I stool your v card now no guy would want to go out with you or marry you ” when he […]