I’m from the beautiful city of seattle washington. I may only be 21, but I cannot be alive in this world because life itself is killing me. I know true happiness and self worth are two things I will never be able to attain (not that many people do). I know my underlining depression will always be with me, my past haunts me and my future is daunting. I hate waking up to see another day. I don’t believe in an afterlife, I think my energy will simply be released back into this vast universe. I just want to not feel anymore. But I’m scared […]
Tag:
Depression
This will be my first post on here, it’s probably going to be long winded so I honestly hope that someone will read this. So here goes… I’m an 18 year old guy, obviously very much troubled with life like the rest of us on here. My Mother had me at the age of 24 and my biological Father for whatever reason left her (still to this date any relative is reluctant to give information on him) She then met my Step Father when I was 4 and that’s when things began to spiral down. They had children, and I was pushed a side, became […]
I’ve been trying for too long and now I just don’t care anymore. My girlfriend tried to get me to see a therapist, but he was utterly useless, more of a temporary stress and “depression” guy. Even worse was the traffic and hurdles just to get to the office. I’ve been out of work for over a year (though a month long job at the worst grocery store in the state is hardly a job) and have sent in over 1000 applications, online and in person. The only consistent “offers” are the harassment from Aflac and telemarketers that use the bait-and-switch strategy. I’m just done. […]
I’ve never actually done anything like this before so sorry if this is the wrong place for this.
Things have been gradually getting worse for me and for a while now I’ve been feeling like there isn’t a way out other than to take my life. This past year has been pretty hard; I’m studying a really difficult degree at a competitive university, as well as living in a house of 6 boys who have chosen to target me… They’ve spent the past year playing loud music at ridiculous hours, playing drums in the morning, deliberately slamming all the doors in the house because they […]
Hi…
I’ve decided to end it all on Friday,as you saw from the title…Been struggling with severe depression and bipolar disorder for 2 years now…Nobody cares now and nobody will care when I’m gone either,so I figured out that I will be happier in the afterlife(if there is one) more than I am now…I don’t want to hear any of that ”it will get better” crap from anyone,since it will not.I also have a serious vision illness that will at some point let me completely blind.Right now I see kind of good,but my vision will at some point just stop,and there is no cure or surgery […]
what the fuck? chemicals affect behavior? no fucking way, the data is wrong, the scientists are stupid. look, here is the truth: what do BABIES do? fucking nothing. then when they hurt, they start crying screaming hellfire torture. they don’t DO anything, except scream when they hurt. babies KNOW the TRUTH. everything you do is LEARNED, it is sensed through PERCEPTION. a blind baby cannot see, so they CANNOT perceive things through eyes, so functionally sight is a LIE to them. they are TOLD that others can see, they have NO WAY of knowing except for your words to them. everything is LEARNED, everything is […]
Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??
by niki
written by niki
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
I’m so done with life. With everything included.
Why do I have to be the one with this kind of fucked up rebellious personality?
It’s getting to be too much to handle.
I honestly don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to go on like this.
After 3 months of not cutting, I relapsed.
Fucking relapsed.
I cut. Again.
Fuck it makes me so fucking pissed off that I let myself drop that low.
Again.
After 3 months.
I should just finish the job, and let my life go. -.-
Four years old; bright, energetic, smart. Completely unaware of his sister’s depression. “She had a fight with Captain Hook.†he says, pointing to her wrist while talking midst his friends.
Nineteen years old; musician, smart, engaged. Fully aware of the side effects of her new medication. “They’re not working, they’re making it worse.†She tells her therapist.
Two weeks later, he runs to her room, excited to tell her about his day at school. But… her door was shut. It was never shut. He opens the door; she’s dangling from a rope, her face contorted. “Sissy, sissy, wake up!†He starts […]
It’s hard to choose between the two. To endure life and the concept of simply existing or to die peacefully and end the endurance. Suicide is not what one chooses when someone is sad. Suicide is what one chooses when they are looking for a way out of pain, and none of their other resources are working. This is something I think about constantly. Existing (from my eyes) is dealing with irate customers at the host stand at my job. It’s flunking out of my freshman year of college because I didn’t go to class because I felt like my whole world was collapsing around […]
My dream started in scattered fragments. Pieces of a world that had yet to form. A story yet to unfold. People and places were established, and the curtains drawn.
I found myself in this dream of which I had little understanding, and although I could not comprehend it, I wasn’t confused. The events of the dream took place around me, and I obliviously interacted with them. Little did I realize the relevance of the things that happened. The foreshadowing of the nightmare to come. If only I had the ability to recognize the signs, perhaps I could have prevented it from spiraling out of control.
There was […]
It’s been 33 days since I decided I was going to take my own life.
On the first of April my beautiful princess died at age just 6months. This was the day I decided I was going to leave this evil world too.
This situation has been tragic due to the fact it was so sudden. There was nothing wrong with her, I put her to sleep, went to do some chores and came back to find her cold and blue, she was gone.
In the time I’ve had to spend without her, I have turned to the use of cocaine, I usually smoke weed but that hasn’t […]
Are you proud of me now?.
I’m not gonna be here anymore so there shouldn’t be anymore trouble. This is what everyone wanted. everyone will be happy now that I’m gone. I’m just a waste of space. ill still be here with you, just look up at the sky and you’ll see the moon shining bright. i never wanted to hurt you. you weren’t the one to blame. it was to world and this awful race. I’m sorry but this just isn’t my place. Born in the wrong place, born in the the wrong time. i cant deal with all the pain, I’m not a fighter. […]
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, boring & mundane, nothing that interesting!
by niki
written by niki
I hate life. I hate people. I hate this world. I hate reality / real world / real life, they are all too boring/mundane for me, and I’ve found almost nothing that is interesting in this reality/real-life/real-world anymore, also in MOST people/humans!
the majority or MOST of human beings/people in this world I’ve found to be either a bunch of stupid, shallow, superficial, ignorant, selfish, rigid, stoic, lifeless, uninteresting, uncreative, and/or boring / mundane ones.
maybe that’s why this “reality” (or “real world” / “real life”) or our society currently is sooo f*cked up now almost beyond help!
with only VERY FEW exceptions of: real-GOOD, honest humans/people, real […]
Where to start. I have had depression and Anxiety now for three years. It got worse when i found out that i have anger problems and OCD. It was really hard to accept that fact that i was depressed and that’s when i started cutting. i stopped for awhile in 2011 but ever since then i have been cutting. It all started in 2010 when my grandma passed away and i got made fun of for it and said that i should have died instead of her. Having everyone against me and no one there for me hurt so much. I started to have panic […]
He looked in her tear painted eyes
He saw past the lies
The I’m fines
The cries
Fake smiles
All the things that were vile
He looked at in her eyes
Said
Your not broken just bent
Everyone has their dents
Mine you have not seen yet
Up until now, I’ve never actually made an account for a community website such like this one- instead I’ve just entered questions to my problems into a search engine, hoping to find a response to someone else’s post that would satisfy my query. This is my first post!
Let me break this down,
I’m a 20 year-old college student at a small state school. I’ve never been officially employed. I did exceptionally well my freshman year in terms of grades, but making my way into my second (this) year, I didn’t expect my girlfriend (of two years) at the time to break up with me, and […]
I sat down on the bench and looked up at the sky.
A cloud moved in front of the sun to provide some shade and cool an otherwise warm day. A couple birds passed overhead, and a light breeze ruffled the leaves of the nearby trees.
I was waiting for the bus to arrive. I had picked this bus route specifically. It promised to arrive at the destination quickly, although it might be a bit of an uncomfortable trip. I did my research thoroughly, and this was the best route I could find. I had been planning this trip for years, perhaps a few too many. The […]
I hate this boring, bored reality / real life / real world, I hate this life, this LIMITED world, and I hate people/humans ..!!
by niki
written by niki
Movies, books, video games, novels, comics, anime/manga, etc etc, basically human’s IMAGINATIONS is a hundred times FAR much more interesting than this very LIMITING reality / real-world / real-life here in this world!
and what’s even worse is that most (about 90%) of humans / people I meet & know everyday are mostly stupid, shallow, superficial, mundane/boring, money and profits and image driven only, ignorant,.. mostly human beings especially today these days are much more bad & hopeless ..!!
(there are -thankfully/luckily?- only FEW humans/people that I like, eg: the very creative/imaginative & ‘other-worldly’ artists who created/made all those awesome fantasy, sci-fi stories, novels, books, […]
It’s been 3 years since i last made a post on here about my depression. Let’s just say I’m the happiest I’ve really ever been. I coped with my depression by exercising and being healthy, doing so I lost 20 pounds in the process which I am happy about. When year 10 of school started I decided I would try something risky and I did. I tried out for the foreign exchange program to go overseas. With the risky decision I succeeded and am now going to Germany in July. And this is all because I found a way to cope with my depression and […]