This will be my 3rd post since discovering this website yesterday… I feel so alone and hopeless In life and I do want to face the pain anymore. After losing the only love of my life to someone else is Undescribable. I have been researching different methods on how to end my life peacefully. Yesterday I research the helium hood for around 12 hours. I have now opted for the ******** method… How long it will take for me to execute I have no idea until I summon the courage to do it I guess.. This is the only option I have as obtaining a […]
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As eminem would say, i`m having a full blown relapse. I stopped taking anti depressants a while ago. I tried different ones, different doses, took them for years. None of them worked out for me, they all made me feel nothing. I still prefer the pain over just nothing. I now use all kinds of drugs. Sometimes they give me a feeling that is close to being happy. But sometimes they make me feel the pain and hear the voices even more. I tried killing myself a fuew days ago. Had the rope ready, ant in total drunkenness i fell of the chair and woke […]
We all have a different pain threshold and I have exceeded mine. I have planned my suicide, I have written a couple of notes and I am just waiting till I am home alone and I will do it. I attempted suicide early in the week and failed. Self preservation is really hard to get over, for me it requires a lot of strength and at the time I was weak, crying, crying and more crying. But now I can feel I can get over it. I am almost looking forward to death. No more suffering or pain. I’m quite excited.
My 3 year old niece sang me happy birthday over the phone. That was really cute and it made me smile. I also cried a little because I miss her. I haven’t seen her in a while. So, for a moment I forgot about the pain. For a moment…
It’s a new year. A new day. Same damn shit, different day. It’s just another shitty day. Nothing special. That’s how I feel about this day.
Happy New Year SP. Hope your year turns out better. I see mine going downhill and fast.
So the horror that is my life begins…
N.N.M
I think I can move on. Like everyone says. I wrote and explained and tried… And I know she’s over me. Theres nothing to save. I tried.. Apologized. She said she isn’t sitting in her place sad thinking about how I lied. She’s not mad or upset. She good and doing fine. She asked since i know this too why I torture myself. I said I deserved it. I feel I do. Where i thought we had something she replied we were in two very different relationships. She don’t care. Thats all i cared about. But it doesnt matter. Makes me not want to see […]
i’ve got to say, this link right here is one of my most favorite links i have ever been on…
There’s this boy who has the same age as me, we live in the same province, our schools were different, we’re friends of friends, he follows me in social media. I LIKE HIM SO MUCH SINCE 7TH GRADE. He doesn’t even know that I exist.
…THE END…
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I keep searching for my purpose and for something…anything that can make me forget everything. Sometimes like a couple of days ago, yesterday, today… I wish there was a little pill that can erase all my memories. I want to wake up a new and different person and see life and see the world with a different perspective because i can’t do it on my own. I’m more than damaged, I’m half dead.
If you could have any super power, what would it be? Telekinesis? Time travel? An invisible hand to slap people you don’t like? 😉
Darnit, how I wish I had superpowers instead of being just a hum-drum human.
Btw, does anyone have any recommendations for good shows similar to heroes on netflix to watch? I love sci-fi! Lets me pretend I’m in another world / different life. At least until I turn it off and poof, I’m back in my crappy reality.
All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe
I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky
You will see your beauty every moment that you rise
I just wanted to protect her, and everyone else that I cared about, from unhappiness. I know the frigid, bleak nights, and I know how they scrape at your sanity, at your soul.
Today, I found out she’s moved to a different country, and that she wants nothing to do with me. Today, and all foreseeable days, I only have sleep to look forward to. It’s better than nothing. […]
Hey guys.I want to say that I am going to kill myself. The main reason is that I once was a Christian and after I’ve grown up I understood there is no god and after we die we cease to exist. I suffered from depression, despair and stuff. I want to kill myself because everything I believed and experienced was a lie. The thing is, you never asked to be born..you were just born. It is like giving someone a food he hates and opening his mouth with force for puting it in. Some have a incredible desire for continuing their lives, I don’t . […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
She perches on her cream-colored windowsill as a robin would upon a branch. Taking a look outside of herself, she sees all that is good around her. Look at the sky, what with its baby-blue face freckled with wisps of cloud cover. Hear the gentle crunch of dying leaves under the tender feet of newly birthed fawns, or the gentle shushing of feathered-wings taking flight. Smell the earth- the rich tone of moist soil mixed with the crispness of mountain air takes away her breath. Feel the cool breeze run his fingers over her skin, over her cheeks and lips and arms, as lovers would.
I move from time to time from different feelings and emotions. Today I am having another bad day.
I cannot kill myself because I made a promise that I will no hurt me. Because if I do it I will condemn the people I love to pain. Because there is not a method that is not painful. Because trying could bring more pain and no even the death.
I do not want to continue living, life does not make to much sense for me. There are really no difference. Because no matter what this pain will never go away. I do not know how to explain the […]
I always feel like there is something missing .
Ive felt like this since I was like 11.
One day my dad told me my mom had a miscarriage with another child .. My twin. I survived though .
My twin was supposed to be identical. I feel like her being gone is why I feel like a part of me is missing. I don’t know what to do about this .
Shell never be back. So I feel like there isn’t a solution to not feeling this emptiness inside me .
Even when I find someone I really care about or love , they even do not fill up […]
I’m thinking a week from Thursday, if I can get my hands on what I need. This time feels different. I’m not in the pits of despair. I’m just tired. Too tired to keep going. I want to sleep.
I feel like no day is different. And I can’t do anything about it. I have no one to go to. I’m tired of no one getting it and I’m tired of feeling so deeply.
Good morning my little and desert world…Here I am, one day more of life going by. We never should count the hours, the days, the weeks, the years. We should count the blessing of every dawn, I know that. However, when our days run in the way we do not want, we prefer to forget even that we are here, in time and space. We start looking life with different lenses. Reflections become our every day breakfast. Some people come, some other go, and some others stay with us until eternity. Mom and Dad always taught me to be patience, positive, to treat others with […]
i’m going to be so focking lonely on my bday, i already know it.
i don’t have any friends. i don’t have a bf. i’m not even close with a lot of my family. the family i am close with live in different states and can’t make it here. my parents will be getting drunk, like always.
it’s this saturday, two days away.
and she just opened a beer, so we’re not going shopping today, i guess.
why do ppl always flake out on me like that??
i kinda didn’t even want to celebrate, at first. i was feeling pressured to celebrate though. but now that i do want to […]