There is absolutly no reason to live anymore. i just want to die.
no one would even care if i died.
i wish i wasnt so numb.
im taking pill after pill to make myself feel normal everday,
but i just cant do it anymore.
there is just an emptiness that nothing can fill.
all of the drugs in the world couldnt fill it….
im done.
You may not believe me, But you will be LOVED by God!!!! you will!!!
Love you guys, so even if you decide to die, even though i don’t want you too i will try to pray to God to save your soul. I don’t know if it will help but even in death just know I was there for you, because i feel like dying too! But somehow i always manage to live, no matter how lonely and awkward and unaccepted i feel, which is like everyday!
Love y’all!
Tigerlily93
Nia
Dear Everyone who feels like committing suicide,
I feel like I have an answer. I can’t guarentee it will work. But you have to try it first ok. Just promise, you’ll try.
Hi everyone,my advice is try to learn God for yourself. In order to know God you first have to know Jesus. Only through Jesus can you be healed. Trust me. It might sound crazy but it’s true.
Trust me, i know. I’m not that religious and allmy life i have been the loner, awkward black girl that no one ever really noticed. almost every guy i ever wanted to love rejected me and […]
This has no specific age range but is directed more towards those who have not yet been free to make their own decisions.
I want everyone who wants to to live. Especially you my little brothers and sisters. Because you have not yet been able to live your own lives. Have not yet been able to freely choose anything outside the limits placed on you and the strong influences upon your minds and emotions. From your posts many of you have an amazing and solid grasp on life and that would be wasted by you dying and not being able to enrich yourselves with your talents.
Many […]
I got the suggestion of having one day of being completely truthful and to be honest…I couldn’t do it. I’m scared of what people think of me and how they will react. I know I should only care about what I think of myself but I don’t and to be honest, who does? So I’ll be honest here, I’m going to vent and say some things that I’ve never told anybody. So I guess here goes nothing:
I lost the love of my life a little over a year ago because I was stupid and screwed up the whole relationship.
I don’t believe in true love anymore […]
I tried to invest my 401k myself (some say gambled) and lost allot and now I cannot retire. I lost my job and my wife diagnosed with cancer could not get healthcare except Cobra which ends soon. I did get a job recently and my wife should get healthcare if all goes well. My son has two DUI”s with drugs will go to jail at a young age. I am having terrible depression anxiety coping over the 401k money loss as I could end up penniless if the new job does not go well whereas I could have retired today or just had […]
Can’t bear the pain of being so despised, by the people I need to give me strength. Antidepressants don’t work, have been taking them for years. I get admitted to hospital, and get pumped full of drugs, I am ok for while but then, again I am kicked down into the hole for another year. They tell me I’m being indulgent, but I just want to hide from the world. Have become a hermit, can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t drive or go to the shop. 15 years in the hole is unbearable. I don’t believe it’s a medical issue, but the only response to the […]
This demon deep within me. I can feel it coming out again. All I want is to be high out of my mind all day everyday. That or just kill myself. I was all about being clean but now I just don’t care and can’t wait to get my hands on some drugs. Well in a few days I’ll be trippin so I am waiting for that day to come. Then I’ll decide if drugs will be enough or not even worth bothering with again. I don’t know where this is all coming from. I was getting so much better. I was happy to be […]
It’s he evening, and the day has finally started to catch up to me. A number of chance events have lead me to this.. Now I guess I finally have to suck it up.
Today, after being out of school since the holidays, and after a previous attempt at a meeting (which ended horribly with me ‘moving’ my principal out of my way), I was brought to another shitty, high school meeting. Yes, the police were invited this time.
So apparently a “warning sign” is writing “black poetry”. Their words. Not mine. There goes my expression..
They also mentioned about how I’ve added posts to here from school.. […]
So i have been having horriable thoughts lately and i am not sure i want them be real ..people treat me like crap and i can’t pretend its ok all the time. it bothers me all the time. i can’t stay here. my ex is engaged .. i loved him more than anyone .. and he let his fiance talk down to me .. ive been talked down to my whole life.. i can’t keep being a push over .. i know that im not pretty .. im not skinny … im not good enough for anyone .. all my friends are happy .. my […]
So I joined this website yesterday, as I lied in bed sobbing, wanting to disappear so badly. I wrote my first post, and what I wrote actually surprised myself. Before I posted I read a few other peoples… I wanted so badly to give each and every person posting a hug. I wanted to tell them they were loved and to make them choose to keep their lives… so I wrote about holding onto mine. The comments I got back, each and every one touched my heart. You guys inspired me to want to keep going, and to keep smiling along the way. Like I […]
i just have to. i cant not do it any longer. im going to cut. once again. the last time i cut was in early october. that was a really long time ago. at least it seems to me like it has been forever. every night i think about it. and i am CRAVING to do it. last night before i was going to sleep i was going to do it. but it was too close to the time my brother and mom wake up and i cant risk getting caught. my mom already wants me to do some psychiatric thing. i dont want to […]
i feel so depressed. especially because im at home. i dont have the one person i wish was with me. i saw her today(my best friend that is). my parents wanted me to go to the store with them, but this morning i told my mom i dont wanna go anywhere. and when they left i went right to her house. but i feel sooo bad for what did. i enable her. soo much. and i hate it. she is an addict. even though its hard for me to say that and it breaks my heart to know that. its true though. and i am […]
if you have no one relying on you, then what’s so bad about killing yourself? I have family and friends, sure, but none of them needs me to live. I see friends every other week, try to see family less than that; I know I’m not necessary. I’m not necessary to any one other persons existence. People would be sad but so? Life is saddening.
No kids, no spouse or prospects of any kind, no pets, no car or mortgage and no hope.
If I continue living, I’ll just be seeking out ways to stay happy, like everybody else does. But nothing makes me happy, […]
All the people that know me think that I have a “good life” . Yes, I do have the “good life” yet I feel so unhappy and guilty living it. The parents who love me and who provide everything as much as they can and little brother I adore the most, even with them I feel somehow hopeless. I pity them. I pity myself even more. Theres nothing to badmouth about my life, I`m considered to be the luckiest kid because my parents dont do drugs, there is  roof over my head and food in my plate, good school, good clothes etc.
The friends who are not in […]
today.. i left my facebook open.. my friend was
wondering how much i pade for a pop of extacy ..
my mother read it .. she flipped out..
so  i left home not wanting to go back..
i met up with my boyfriend .. and finally had my relese
i got cocane… but now sompthing dosnt feel right..
drugs are all i hav to live for..
one night one night i had this dream .. the sky was dark and the whole worls was mean mommmy you where there but you went the same ..you had no money and you were insane i remember you spent everything we had on morphine…
you couldn’t pay the rent of a two bedroom so we shared our broken house with a couple of goons .. who sold drugs and where all cracked out they stayed in the living room sleeping on the couch ..
momy mom why rant you eating … im not hungry dear .now goodbye im leaving.. she walked out the door sometimes it […]
for about 9 or so years i had lived in a small judgmental town.. i was continuesly bullied.. to the piont where the only friend i had were the plenty of cuts on my arm… i thaught if people felf sorry for me maybe they would be nice.. stupidest mistake i ever made.. it only got worse.. i attempted cuicide and ended up in the hospital.. they all beleaved it was fake.. i went by emo, slut , cocksuking *****, druggie, crazi skitzofranic, and other.. i was suspended tree times of drug use ..and had stoped coming to school.. one day i was put in […]
Today I realized how strange my parents treat me, my dad is over protective and paranoied ever since his brother died of an overdose and yet he abuses me both emotionaly and phisicaly, my momther says if she had to chose between me and my father she would always chose me and yet she stands by and watches me suffer. Both of my parents are are paranoied like I said earlier about things like me doing drugs, drinking, or cutting myself and yet when my scars from the years of cutting are showing, they pretend not to see them or they buy my lame excuses. […]
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