today i came to the conclusion id rather have drug induced states of happiness over no happiness at all. maybe one day it can kill me. at least that way i can die happy. i don’t see it happening any other way.
Tag:
Drugs
Welp lets see its all in the name ive started to do…… coke now not weed n pills or k2 anymore I moved up to coke and u no I think its cause I just stopped caring I was doing so good then my friends crashed into my family in the back nothing happened then my gpa got mad told me its always my fault for stuff like this and then my friends made me really happy then my gpa again fucks it up tells me im stupid and crazy well maybe I am I just ugh I give up drugs music thats what helps […]
I’m 18 years old, and I’m done with life. It all started when I was 12. I started self harming. I’m not really sure why I started, but I couldn’t stop. Anytime anything went wrong, I would cut. 6 years later, I’m still cutting. I can’t control the urge, ive tired so hard to stop… but I just can’t. I’m covered in scars. I’ve seen therapists, counsellors, every kind of mental health professional you can think of and they still can’t find out what treatment works for me. They’ve tried it all. I’ve been sexually abused by a man who is still walking free, abandoned […]
My name is krysta, but you can call me tatiana. I’m 15 and I have severe depression and anxiety. I don’t really know how to put everything in the order that it happened so I guess I can just tell you bits of my story and they’ll fall together and make sense in the end.
I think my depression started in the 5th grade. I was living with my biological dad. And addict. To this day I am not sure what drugs he does. The ones I know for certain are pot and pain killers and possible meth. He was never in my life much. […]
I have nobody.
I have no real friends. Once I try to talk about my feelings or get help, I just end up getting ignored. I know it’s not easy but please don’t leave me alone in this again. I can’t breathe
i need to get away and drugs and these fucking razors aren’t doing anything anymore.
I’m so alone and tired
I know what you’re thinking. ‘It’s another girl trying to stop us from thinking about suicide’. ‘Nothing she’s going to say is going to stop me’. You’re right. There is nothing I can say or do to stop you from this. I don’t know what you’ve all been through; I definitely have no right to tell you that you shouldn’t commit suicide. But what I can tell you is that you’re not crazy. You’re not exaggerating. But most of all, you’re not alone. You’re probably thinking, ‘I’ve heard all this, there’s no point, she doesn’t understand’. You’re right, I don’t understand. But there is something […]
Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??
by niki
written by niki
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
My family is …
Yesterday I heard my parents discussing, they were in their room and the door was closed (they talk so loud I can hear miles away), my father confessed he was cheating my mother.She is so stupid and people tell her harsh words everytime and she never does anything about it, she’s 45, how long will she bear everything in silence?.I don’t even know why they’re still married, but I’m sure they’re not in love anymore, plus my father is always getting into trouble and hurting other people’s feelings.He has been had struggles with alcohol and smoking since they married more than […]
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, boring & mundane, nothing that interesting!
by niki
written by niki
I hate life. I hate people. I hate this world. I hate reality / real world / real life, they are all too boring/mundane for me, and I’ve found almost nothing that is interesting in this reality/real-life/real-world anymore, also in MOST people/humans!
the majority or MOST of human beings/people in this world I’ve found to be either a bunch of stupid, shallow, superficial, ignorant, selfish, rigid, stoic, lifeless, uninteresting, uncreative, and/or boring / mundane ones.
maybe that’s why this “reality” (or “real world” / “real life”) or our society currently is sooo f*cked up now almost beyond help!
with only VERY FEW exceptions of: real-GOOD, honest humans/people, real […]
I might kill myself. I think I am going to use the “exit” bag method with helium as my choice of gas. I can’t take the constant pain, guilt, worry, and sadness anymore. My parents are so disappointed in me. I am everything they never wanted. Unlike my younger sister, my grades are poor, I’m a drug addict, an overall failure. My dad constantly reminds me about how he refuses to pay for my college expenses since I am such a bad student. Constantly asking me, “Which college do you think you will be accepted into?”, in a rude tone. My dad always makes snarky […]
I hate this boring, bored reality / real life / real world, I hate this life, this LIMITED world, and I hate people/humans ..!!
by niki
written by niki
Movies, books, video games, novels, comics, anime/manga, etc etc, basically human’s IMAGINATIONS is a hundred times FAR much more interesting than this very LIMITING reality / real-world / real-life here in this world!
and what’s even worse is that most (about 90%) of humans / people I meet & know everyday are mostly stupid, shallow, superficial, mundane/boring, money and profits and image driven only, ignorant,.. mostly human beings especially today these days are much more bad & hopeless ..!!
(there are -thankfully/luckily?- only FEW humans/people that I like, eg: the very creative/imaginative & ‘other-worldly’ artists who created/made all those awesome fantasy, sci-fi stories, novels, books, […]
I’ve always been the strong one. The one who held others up when they couldn’t take it. I never wanted to burden others with my problems, so I tend to fake a smile and say I’m okay. I hate to be viewed as weak. It started when I was little — I was born to teenage parents who had a taste for methanphetamines. They did try to get clean when I was born, as well as three years later when my little brother came into the world. But their lifestyle caused me to take care of myself at an early age. A funny story I’ve […]
I’m not sure what I really expect anymore.
A couple months back, September to be specific, I found myself in a hole. You know it, the black abyss that you stare at day in and day out. The one that never seems to end. I had been looking into, getting lost in the darkness for too long. Years have past since I can actually remember being happy for a full 24hrs. It seems so surreal to even imagine I used to have fun.
Anyways, I tried to take my life. I really tried… pills, alcohol, the whole deal. Fortunately or unfortunately ( I haven’t decided […]
I have no idea what this is for.
Who can argue that anything we do is meaningful.
Is it time to go? Yes it is maybe.
And how to go? It seems it is just as hard as living.
Drugs Rule Everything Around Me.
The End. Or is it the beginning……
Ten billion stars later maybe the answer will illuminate.
I’m not asking as a way to judge you, Â I completely understand wanting to cope with depression. But why cutting specifically? I’ve used several methods myself; Hallucinogenics, Drugs, Alcohol, things like that.
I’m asking because I’ve tried doing it and I just don’t feel the pleasure, and I’ve attempted suicide several times, so I know a thing or two about “hurting myself”. So why do you guys like it?
I’ve experimented with a lot of substances in my life. Over the course of probably like 7ish years I’ve tried Psychedelics (LSD, 2CE, DMT – my FAVORITE DRUG), Cocaine, Benzodiazepines (Klonopin, Valium, Xanax, Restoril, Ativan), Stimulants (Amphetamines, Adderall, Focalin, Methylphenidate, Vyvanse), marijuana, alcohol, and the best of the best: opiates (OxyContin, heroin, hydrocoone, oxycodone, oxymorphone, hydromorphone, morphine, methadone, suboxone, subutex, etc.) – you get the point. For the most part I’ve been responsible with drug usage. Things never got out of hand and addiction was a foreign concept to me. But when shit hit the fan a few years ago, I lost all […]
I’ve been crying for the past two hours. Why can’t I stop crying? 🙁 I want to just stop it all. I feel so depressed over drug abuse from my dad. Earlier my dad was high on drugs and he threatened to throw my eleven year old brother out on the streets. Later, I shouted at my dad because he said he was going to throw me out too. I shouted at him, telling him he was nuts. Dad said he’d rather be homeless than live with me and my brother. Now I’m scared. I’m seriously thinking about telling the fucking police because I can’t deal […]
I’m alone with my thoughts again and I have no where to go even in a crowded room or next to my boyfriend I feel so distant and unlove even when I’m told I’m beautiful I feel so ugly even if someone sincerely says they care about me I turn around and say I’m unlove and unwanted. I’ve always hated being this way, but I don’t know how to change. The only thing I want to do right now is cut all ties and end my life, but I know its not right to think or even say. I’m just so tired, confused, and depressed […]
I have everything anyone could want…..
My parents love me to death, they bought me a home, they bought me a car, they’ve bought me every toy/trip I’ve ever wanted. Â My current girlfriend I gorgeous and will do anything to stay with me. Â I’m normal, maybe not that athletic but an intelligent capable member of society. Â Despite all of these I lock myself in my house binge drinking every night reflecting and brooding on my self-hate. Â What the fuck is wrong with me. Â Everyday when I wake up I almost beg to be taken out on the way to work. Â I space out at work wondering […]