Hi My name is Nikki… I am 15 years old and I have been cutting for a very long time.. I know what it is like to hurt and feel nothing but pain and misery. I have lost so many people to death and You know it is not fun.. I am not that skinny pretty girl at all. I lost a guy I was in love with to a person who felt the need to shoot and kill him. I felt the pain of loosing my best friend to a person who hit him with a car. I felt the pain to my grandmother […]
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out of all fucking people, why did i have to fall inlove with my best friend?! we used to have a “thing” she used to like me. but she said she doesnt wanna lose our friendship because im her best friend. everyone i know can just tell im in love with her. and i hate admitting. i told her once when i went out of the city for a week and i told her i said that cos i missed her so much. i always look her in the eyes and say im not in love with her, but in realaty i think she is […]
I finally made an account. I’ve spent all afternoon reading and I identify entirely with feeling like I’m in a slump. The worst part as I see it is the apathy. The complete loss of excitement for all the little things that used to make me smile and worse yet, the utter lack of care for whomever’s emotions will be affected by my last action on this earth.
I’m 21, completely hopeless, and scared for what lies ahead. I don’t want to disappoint my wife of four months, but with all the fighting I think she’d be better off. I seldom socialize anymore, I dropped […]
I know how it feels to be sad. Depressed. Like no one cares. Like you don’t want to live anymore. I feel that right now. I would think a lot on how would I kill myself. Finally I made up my mind.. I wasn’t going to hang myself, or cut my throat or wrist. I figured the best way was to over dose. What could happen. I wouldn’t feel the pain. I would just take the pills and go to sleep. No big deal. I would say no one would care. I am just some ugly stupid girl who is stupid and worthless. I am sitting […]
Its hard to put into words how much I truly hate every second of living on this earth. For reasons and forces unknown I wasn’t ever meant to be anything of value. my parents admit i was a mistake, not aborting me was an even bigger one. now im paying for their mistakes.
From kindergarten to highschool, I was always outcast. I was the kid that didn’t even get bullied because he was of lower social stature. which made no sense, I was nice. I always helped out and always tried to be a good friend. In all it was everybody’s fetish to use me for […]
According to experts you have a mental illness if: 1) You have “gross and persistent irresponsibility for social norms, rules and obligations(Antisocial Personality Disorder) 2) Actively refuses to comply with majorities – Requests or consensus supported rules -Argues often(Oppositional Defiance Disorder) It is sad how its not really your life, you are not free to live how you choose, society expects things even though it is your life. You are expected to : Get a job, get married, follow all laws,have kids,contribute to society. I just want to live for myself and do what I want to. Its sad how you are supposed […]
Society is a fucking useless term. We are not human, what kind of human is set out to make other people feel more in hell? There is already an empty pit inside, already that void… feeling of despair and emptiness.. So why the hell would anyone go into someones life… and try to ruin any salvation they have for hope? My mind is already hell enough, please stop adding things for it to over-process. I don’t need this, this is one reason I’m in the darkest places of my mind… Why would you try to take away the one little ember left, the one that may […]
So… I’ve never been good at talking about my problems…. but here it goes..
For the past year I have had major depression problems… Which shouldn’t make sense, I have awesome friends, an okay family and an amazing boyfriend… Yet nothing seems right. Nothing fills the void.. Every day I wake up and ask why I didn’t pass in my sleep … I wish every night not to wake up. Lately I have also been extremely sick, from lung infection to ears, to having strep throat. I have no life left in me, there is no candle light burning… It went out a long time ago, […]
it will always be the person you least expect,nomatter how many times you dye your hair, or change your appearence,your still you and your nothing special, not like everyone els,life is overrated,so whats so special about making the best outa having nothing, having noone,being used consinly, every time you stick your face out the front door, you fail to make it any futher,everytime you stick your face out the front door, someone says there your freind, but they aint,they either use you, or call you once and find you worthless enough to never answer or call you again,the only person that has ever made me […]
I have been through so much in my life. I feel like I’m not needed/ wanted her on the earth. I feel like I should be better than I am. Idk why I am here. I’m sorry, but idk what I should do. I don’t even know why I’m putting this out her, but I feel like I can’t talk to my friends about this. I’m really stressed out. I feel fat and ugly…. In need some help:/
It bothers me when people who are living a perfectly normal life with no problems whatsoever say they’re suicidal. To me, saying you’re suicidal isn’t a joke at all. If you have nothing to be angry about life, why should you joke around with the meaning? I been suicidal since I was 12 but you know what, I’m trying my best to not do anything stupid. Living with my family isn’t the best place to be right now because there is constantly arguing and fighting going on while I have so called “friends” who are never there when I need them and whom only cares […]
i’ve done it. i’ve made the decision to end my life. though tears are running down my face, i couldn’t be happier. i feel so peaceful, genuinely happy. a feeling i’ve never felt inmy life before. i’m not giving up, i’m just giving in. for years i’ve felt like an empty shell, being carried by the river out to sea to be drowned and i don’t mind. i don’t really want to die, i suppose, i just want to rest my head. i’m okay with it, i accept this situation. may my body be the last i see and my heartbeat the last that i […]
Well she’s still not home still not answering her calls. So I assume she is with that other guy. I wrote out my last words & testaments. I think I’m ready to see GOD now! So here goes nothing! I Father who tho in heaven hallow be thy name thy Kingdom come thy will be done on earth that it is to heaven give us today my daily bread & forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us & lead us not into temptation but delivery us from evil for thy is the kingdom the power & the glory forever & ever […]
I am a shell. I have been dealing with depression for about 4 years now, and it has eaten away at me till there is nothing left but the corporeal person you may meet, or not. I consider myself dead most of the time. I finally started to come to that realization after my girlfriend left me. We can call her Elizabeth. She was the one who initially saw that I needed help, real help. She convinced me to go out and seek medical treatment in any form. She wanted to stay with me and grow old together, but that required me to live to […]
**pardon my lack of grammar and editing but i just don’t give enough of a damn.**
I’m only fifteen.
I have spent my tiny little life feeling like I’m on the outside of everything looking in on it.
Do you know the feeling, like you are the only one who realizes just how fucked up everything is? I do and i feel that way every day. All the rich white people at my overly socially competitive high school, my family life, society, the way our world works, life, they all seem like a circus act to me. i feel like almost every person on earth sees life as a fluffy cake with sweet pink […]
Got this website while browsing, like my heading state im 30 going on 31 and still want to die every day, some days worse then the others. I would never commit suicide, but i do know that if I could die for someone, if I could go in someone elses place that still want this earth, I would gladly take her.his place. I have searched for 30 years for my purpose which i believe i did what i had and was expected of me -yet dying is what i live for.
Today was even worse I have this overwhelming desire not to live anymore. I passed a wreck I even stopped to see if everything was okay.. I got back in my car and cried because I wasnt the one who died in the wreck! I would gladly take the place of the other person.. I cry everyday more today then usual.. No one would care if I died my family would only be worried about their perfert image and what people would say about there daughter killin herself. My funeral would be filled with not close friends and a happy family but with people who […]
My life, the world i live in… Â It confuses me so much now.. Â i try and write things down but have trouble explaiing how I feel because there is just so much to say… Â A long time ago i started to feel like i didnt know what i was doing, i didnt know where i was going or what the point was anymore… Â I fell in love with the tv show Doctor Who… Â that kept me going… i obsessed over it… Â I loved it, i created my own world where everything from Doctor Who was real. from that i kept obsessing over things. It […]
I am 15 years old. I know that the things in my life that have made so depressed and screwed up don’t really compare to other peoples’ problems, but I sincerely hope that NO ONE has to go through the pain that I have experienced and I hope that NO ONE ever feels the immense pain that I must live with everyday. And most importantly, I hope that NO ONE hates themselves as much as I hate myself.
My story is this:
I was born with a cleft pallet and lip. I have had 10 and counting surgeries, something no one should have to go through. Each […]
i’m new here and i will get straight to the point: i suffer from depression that is killing me, i feel so insecure, so doubtfull of myself and i sometimes hate myself for who i am and i’m afraid what will become of me. i just have this feeling and i just can’t turn it around. i have been bullied at class, and i’ve got no friends in my class. they all think i’m weird because i listen to heavy metal music and R&B music together. i don’t like hiphop and that kinda crap and that’s why people in my class think i’m weird cause […]