Let me tell you bout my month yall
Endless shoppin’, I had a ball
I had to ball for therapy
My shrink don’t think that helps at all
Whatever, that man aint wearin’ these leather pants
I diagnosed my damn self, these damn pills aint workin’ fam
In my spare time, punchin’ walls fucking up my hand
I know that shit sound super cray
But if you had my life you’d understand
But, I cant fold
Some poor soul got it way worse
We’re all troubled in a world in trouble
It scary to […]
I actually know why I’m still here… it’s because I’m really too scared to kill myself. Â But even though I have a daughter and husband and family and friends who all love me, I’m suffering. Â I’m suffering a lot and I don’t want to continue to suffer the rest of my life. Â How is it considered selfish of ME to want to end my suffering, but not of THEM to want to keep me around for no good reason other than they want me here. Â And I don’t even know why they want me. Â I’m not a great parent (she’s 3 and I can’t even […]
so this site edited my last post, kind of pissed me off…but anyway..
Im here, somehow. I almost went to the mental hospital again, but my psych just increased one of my meds. Do i still think of suicide? Yes. Do i want to do it? Im not sure.
I think about it all the time…but im scared.
I do honestly feel thought that i have spent enough time here on this earth. I dont want to live everyday a mentally ill wreck.
I wrote a few notes already, but ive tucked them away. I just sob until i fall asleep.
Theres two things that can happen to me at […]
I had a good day with my friends and being silly and laughing at how he was messing with another friend of mine but damn the evil thoughts of cutting are strong I found a good place to cut or well I have never cut before so yeah. I sadly wish a friend would text me. He saves me all the time with out knowing he does. I mean he’s the shit there’s no one on this earth that tell me I am pretty or makes me feel specai. I wish I could say what the hell I wanna say but I keep it in […]
the only thing that is stopping me from killing myself is my dog. i have no friends left, my family doesn’t offer any support. though my dog is the most precious thing on earth to me sometimes i wish i had never adopted her. she’s the only important responsibility i have and i would never ever just give her to a shelter. or my family…i don’t trust them to properly care for her. what should i do? it breaks my heart to imagine her suffer in any way (yeah even her not getting enough walkies or cuddles lol) but i ‘m so drained. Â i’ve struggled […]
i just signed up on this website and im happy to have found it, i just wanna know how to feel better about myself, and talk to people that wont make fun of me, i know my problem’s arent as bad as most but they build up inside and it’s gets to where i wanna cry….but i cant i dont want my family to know about my saddness or know how alone i feel. i just feel so un-welcomed to this earth, im only 17 i know i pronly dont have room to talk but…its ture, they say love will come but does it? they […]
the truth is that..i still feel this way all the time.i dont have a girlfriend i can afford..i cant afford to even kal a girl that just acceptd my proposals i am as broke as a dinosaurs fossil.i am sliding into depression jst from making this comment.a girl once fainted in my arms at home.but i couldnt afford the simplest form of transportation around this parts,i couldnt get her to the hospital or anything.i was called a curse to the economy.i can hardly afford my meals so i am staying with my parents,this to a great lenght have stopped me from being who i am,truth […]
i am numb. i am invisble. i am stuck in life. i was a mistake. i am not supposed to be here. i am pointless. why are we on this earth? just to reproduce? whats the point? should i be glad to be human? ha im not. being the most intelegent we feel the most pain. as i waste away in my tears i remember a time when i was happy and free. when you werent judged. i should just go now. i have caused so much pain to to others. i am done. sorry is just a word. i cannot undo anything i have […]
I have been on this earth just short of 22 years and already I have tried to leave three times. The people that know this all tell me that it’s a good thing, maybe its “ment” to be that I am here. I really don’t think that at all. I really just think that I have not been smart enough this whole time, that I need to make sure it happens for real this time. Yeah sure I have some schooling and people say they like me, but that’s not enough. I don’t like myself. I don’t like where I came from, entire family addicted […]
It’s gradualy filling up.My heart is turning jet black,I just feel it.It always felt so empty but now the void is replaced with hatred and disgust.Hatred for my own kind.Hatred for myself most.I’m such a trash.A trash that live in this dump called earth.A dump filled with being I consider trash as well,all piled up together.
I just can’t feel contempt,I can’t be happy here.The only thing that kept me here so long are video games,pathetic as it may.I’m tired of wasting every days away on those stupid games so my poor little self don’t have to think about anything.I achieve nothing everyday.
I just hate humankind.
I […]
I swear to god, there is something very unnatural about capitalism; it is dehumanizing. I know I was not put on this earth to be a pawn in the system, and neither were you. I think that the industrialization of society was more of a curse than a blessing–sure, things are more convenient than they were 200 years ago, we live longer, have antibiotics, (is that really a good thing?….) but I would trade every convenience of modern society to be free from this system.
I am currently unemployed. Again. Do I want to go out and sell myself into wage slavery, again? NO. That’s right, NO. For some […]
Just making a list that I can look back on whenever I feel down.
– Parents: Unlike what most people I know say about their parents, mine are amazing to me. They have supported me through everything and never left. If anything, they are here more than ever 🙂
– Close friends: They understand that I need them, but that I also need space.
– Boyfriend: I don’t even know where to start with how much he has helped me.
– My old therapist: The reason I can trust.
– My ex / now friend: The one person who completely understood and took all the […]
My cousin did it. When he was eighteen, about a week before my fifteenth birthday. Eighteen years old. He had almost graduated high school. He was the greatest person in the entire world to me–my hero, my idol, my best friend. When he took himself away from us, I could not get it through my head. Why would he do this to us? Why would he deprive the world of his existence and leave the rest of us here to pick up the pieces? I simply could not understand.
Now that I am eighteen, I understand perfectly. He viewed the world the exact same way I […]
I _______ __________ , being of sound mind and body. Make my last request. In the event I suffer from any of the following and cannot verbally relay my last wishes.
If I have a stroke, heart attack, comatose, brain dead in any form yet still display vital signs.
I do not wish to be kept alive on any form of life support. I wish to pass on. My prolonged life will not be beneficial to me or any poor soul that may survive me. I cannot afford to be artificially kept alive. God will understand.
I have done the best I can all the time regardless of […]
Elayna Isabel Carter “Layne” will be laid to rest today after 17 years of misery on this earth
Layne is remembered by those who knew her as a pathetic excuse for a human and a waste of oxygen. She was the unwanted youngest child of Phillip and Collete  and the stupid annoying kid sister of Matthew and Kristin.
Layne hung herself in her room leaving her family and so-called friends overjoyed that the emo psycho was finally dead and gone. You see Layne was a failure and a drain on society. She got knocked up at 14 and failed miserably at being a mother to her son […]
i feel ugly inside, like i have nothing positive to offer the people of earth. all the wrong things bring me joy and the right things make me feel uncomfortable. i laughed at a disabled woman on saturday and it was the hardest and most enjoyable laugh that ive had in months. i look forward to other peoples misery and usually slink away from smiling faces and the stories behind them.
what am i? i dont believe in anything(angels, demons etc) so im just a disturbed human. ive been hurt to the point that other peoples hurt is all that i crave; hurt people hurt […]
This time I died. Not when I was supposed to. I’m sorry to the man who is now Gone and I still walk. If there is a heaven then u have found it, and you may be looking upon me screaming. Yelling till ur lungs bleed and your breath won’t replenish in your lungs. I hate u is what you will prob say. Or I want to rip open your mind with a spoon and scream into it. WAKE UP U DUMB F$&@!! Just please wake up… But he never woke up. And never will I. Im so sorry Eric. I never meant for any […]
How to start,while my hands are shaking and i finally made myself cry after a long time of trying to be strong and keep it all inside me. It sounds like another lame and pathetic story about how misunderstood someone can be. Honestly i had my moments of searching for attention but this time i just want revenge. I promise this will be my last selfish act towards everyone i know. I really wanted to make everything right again but when my own mother says that i am naive and stupid how am i supposed to feel about myself, how i am i supposed to […]
This was taken the last day of being at a GroupHome the First time I was in it, as u can see I am very happy And all Smiles. I wanted to Escape and get away from it, as u can see I am the only white girl, I’m very self conscious that’s why I’m slanted cause I don’t like being Tall, Everyone Where I live is normally 5’1 and 5’0 but im 5’4 1/2 so I get self conscious , I Also Ran-away from this GroupHome, the staff were horrible I couldn’t Visit my family and I was Basically ridiculed for breaking out and […]
i was so close. so close. my evil sister told my mom that the past few days i have been overdosing (she knows everything bout me) my mom went into a flip attack and started screaming at me other shit i was so hurt my sister told more hurt my knew before i left the earth. she was contemplating letting it go or taking me to the hospital. she chose hospital. ha i got out of that, thank god. now im in trouble. like lots of trouble. i want away and out of my family im fed up qith them, they parent based on […]
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