Drowning in my emotions. Waters deep
swallowing me whole.
Can’t breath Can’t speak no one can hear my thoughts. It’s lonely and cold I can barley see the surface. Does anyone up there know I’m here. They can’t hear the words they can’t feel the pain. Still drowning here getting ever so closer to the end.
Tag:
Emotions
Sorry for my bad English, I’m Dutch/French (I’m a 18 years old, school dropout). I hope this all makes somewhat sense…
I was seen as a child prodigy when I was child (learned myself read at a young age and I went directly to second year of primary school), but everything went bad in secundary school. I feel totally useless. I have nothing to live for. The expectations that society has, the expectations I have of myself. The reality that doesn’t fit the expectations. My apathy towards humans, towards my family. I have no friends, I never needed friends, neither have I desired to have friends. I […]
Since my ex left me I’ve been fighting a losing battle with my mind, I’ve never been a particularly lucky man in life, I spent the entire of school being severely bullied everyday and never had anyone I could really call a friend. Once I left school and began college Life started to look up somewhat when I started to actually receive attention from others in a positive manner, during this time I met my ex, she was a shy innocent girl who actually understood that I was scared of opening up to people and showing my true feelings. I felt that this made up for all of those years I […]
Baby sister has been crying for the past hour, every time something happens, she cries. She’s the shrieking kind of crying, makes me wanna kill that piece of shit. Too bad I have “no balls”, nor to kill myself. So i hope I’m destined to do something. I have been angry for the past 3 days, ever since my little “date” with my cousin jasmine was canceled because her mom has no money.Â
I’m incredibly angry, stepdad brings the baby into the living room so it could cry in my fucking ear as I play video games (not intentionally) and I sit here holding my emotions […]
Done. Nothing to live for. Not going to bother being alive anymore. I realize I have no other person in my life who cares about me. I had another awful day today, and I just realized that not a single person cares to comfort me. I ran through the list in my head. My mom is self-absorbed, and suffers from crippling emotional problems, so she is never someone I confide in because she does understand how to properly deal with other peoples’ emotions. My immediate family are rich businessmen and women, who believe that pain is for the weak. My few close friends all use […]
Today i realized just how fast my emotions have been changing lately, one moment i feel hopeless, the other angry, sad and the other I’m just emotionally numb. it’s like my emotions decided to take some roller coster, what so now I don’t just have depression but I’m bipolar too? I definately want to get myself help though. Of course that’s not as easy as it may seem, i don’t have any money and I’m 14 so there’s no way i can get a therapist who could talk to my parents for me without them finding out about it first, talking to anybody in my […]
Depression slowly crept up on me 2.5 years ago. Â I had a feeling of being unwanted. Â I felt like my friends were ignoring me, and it seemed like no one cared about me. Â The depression kept getting worse and worse everyday. Â I am the type of person that keeps my emotions to myself, so I’d try to put on a happy face whenever I was around people. Â Recently, I noticed that I’m not depressed 100% of the time. Â I looked up why that might be, and my symptoms matched the bipolar disorder symptoms. Â I finally decided I needed help, so I scheduled an appointment with […]
I can’t talk to my friends about my depression because they all gossip so much, and they don’t care. I am so sick and tired of being lonely. My friends ignore me, and I treat them with so much dignity and respect. I really do, outside this site I exhibit enormous self-control. I only let loose my emotions on this site because I consider it a safe space to do so, and in some warped way I feel more comfortable posting to a community of people who always feel this close-to-suicide sensation like me. Anyways, It’s late, so forgive my poor grammar. Venting on this […]
Me I will tell you in all honesty that I have serious anger problems and I am saddened  by it. I have always tried to keep my anger on the inside cause
I believe it would hurt more if I display it on the outside. Â I lately though have discovered that my anger has more control over me then I do. It’s
scary for me to type that but it’s true. I have only had one girlfriend and as of today I am stopping with any form of communication with her. I broke up with her because she wanted to choose between me and her ex who […]
Here we are again back on the bad track of life. I keep telling myself i just a need a second chance, a new start but i don t think it would change anything. The only thing i need to change is me. I am going to stop feeling, stop caring. If you could see me now, whispering those uncertain words and smiling because i don t think i ‘ ll ever be able to shout down my emotions. one of my greatest weakness that is destroying me and watching my mind decaying part by part.
I tried to put myself to sleep again. Forever… I […]
Hey kids, here’s some advice: if you feel like killing
yourself, do it. Do it as soon as you can, because life and society will take
everything from you as you get older. It will even take your desire to kill
yourself. That may sound like a good thing, but it isn’t. You will lose the
will to kill yourself, but not the root emotions that made you consider suicide
in the first place. You will still feel like shit, but will lack the passion
and ambition to actually solve it with suicide.
You may see signs of physical weakness in the adults around
you, but […]
I am just sitting here and I just randomly start crying… I wanna just cut or kill myself so that I don’t cry anymore…. I hate crying…. I grew up learning that it was wrong to cry and that we couldn’t talk about anything… So I don’t talk to anyone about it… I wish that I could….. I wanna just open my arm and bleed out… Idk anymore
Every doctor pretty much makes it seem as though if you take this medicine, everything will get better. Sadly, that ain’t the truth. I have been taking medicine since I was in 6th grade and look at me. I am STILL depressed and I STILL have a lot of anxiety and anger. Can medicine really help you? No. It can help you a little. It can slightly make you happier and slightly less anxious, but that’s not always the case. When I cry, I can’t stop crying for about an hour. My anxiety gets so bad that I shake to the point that I can’t […]
I know that it is hard being Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgender, or Intersex. I know because I am bi-sexual. My family and most of the people I know don’t understand how it is and don’t really accept me. They think that it is wrong and that I should be straight because it the the “right” thing. I don’t give a fuck if it you think it’s right or not. I am NOT changing who I am just for you. I like the way I am. I prefer girls more than boys because I have been hurt by mostly guys, but that’s not the same for […]
Last week was my second time trying to commit suicide… I was crying and couldn’t stop because I felt unloved and unwanted. My self-confidence dropped to 0% and I couldnt talk to anyone about it. I felt as if no one understood what i was going through. My left arm is permanently scarred all the way down on the bottom and it reminds me of what I did…. I kinda wish that I did it deeper… There seems to be nothing good about me. I battle the urge to just Over Dose on any pills or slit my arms and wrists. I just don’t want […]
Before, there was a time where words could reach to my heart, no wall, no nothing. But now, words can’t get past this cold, diamond-steeled heart that blocks it. Just try to break it. Even yours or my will can’t break it. The Diamond-Steel Heart, a cold and harsh place where everything is dead and no such thing as peace ever existed or EVEN heard of the word “Peace”. This heart is like a world that was worse than war and after 2012 combined itself. Words? HA! No such thing existed. You have to feel it to believe it. A new world that is literally […]
all of this pain…it didnt just come alive inside of me. it brought on throughout the years. i remember myself being such a happy child. i remember loving life and i remember i hated thought of dying. then i got to 5th grade and thats when everything started to change. people started to make fun of me because of my weight and because i wasnt all that smart.6th grade was the worst. the kids in my class tricked me into thinking that this guy really liked me and after a while i started to really like him too. then they told me that he never liked me […]
I was taught to believe you exist and you are the creator of all things.
Through my own thought and reasoning I do believe you exist and I do believe you created all things as everything is too intricate and complicated to have happened by chance.
But as you are the creator, the point of origin of all existence, I feel you have some explaining to do.
As God and creator even if you created the big bang and evolution, you are singularly responsible for all things. This means you are evil. This means you are good. As these did not exist otherwise. Yes evil is your creation. […]
I hate myself. I am stupid. I am ugly. I am fat . I am died inside. I am alone. I am fat. I am selfish. I am annoying . I am a person who wants help but can tell anyone in fear of them judgeing me. I am finished.
I wish you’d stop acting like this. I wish you’d stop breaking my heart and making me feel like the last thing left in this world I had to hold on to is slipping away. I wish that there was some way for me to get through to you, to make you see that you’re breaking my heart and destroying my spirit.
But you know, even if there were ways to accomplish these things… you still wouldn’t listen. You pick up things about me that even I miss, yet the most obvious emotions and damages you’re causing to me you rationalize away […]