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Emptiness

Happiness is a mirage

by MyRequiem311
written by MyRequiem311

For so many years of my life, I’ve endured the constant feeling of sadness and feeling alone. Every day, progressively worse than the last. Then the day came where I met someone who gave me a breathe of fresh air in my life, and gave me a purpose and reason to live. How great it was to love something more than yourself. She lives 10 hours away, I sold everything I own in this world to go see her, I leave tomorrow.

But why is it I’m so close, but I feel so scared? I feel as though I’ve already lost her, and I haven’t even […]

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Addiction and his name

by blind.cinderella
written by blind.cinderella

I can’t stop thinking about him. I really can’t control it anymore. To be in love with a person who is partly responsible for the biggest and ugliest scar on my hand, the other part is me. I know the world is laughing at me along with him but i can’t stop.

I tried to hate him instead but after couple of days he would do something nice, just a small gesture and i would forgive him and pretend we are starting all over again as friends. I am aware of all the lies, his twisted personality, and self-destruction. I also know he doesn’t give a […]

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by SilverShadow
written by SilverShadow

A blade to my wrist
Like a flame to a fire
The reflection of the white light
The forever emptiness saying goodbye
Filled the hole with pain
Filled the empty with blood
The pain consumes me but I don’t want to stop
The darkness torments but I won’t open my eyes
The light blinds but I won’t turn away
This is my fate
My fate and mine alone to face

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Another day of mindless pain

by Everlasting
written by Everlasting

So another day has come and past, another pointless, meaningless empty feeling remains and all that is left is the cold embrace of an empty bed.

5 Suicide attempts, 2 last minute resuscitations in hospital, endless weeks in a psychiatric unit and each and every time come out feeling the same way and return to the same emptiness and nothingness that is my life. Medications make me feel numb, neither happy nor sad, just more of that feeling of nothingness, again. It is so ironic that ALL antidepressants just make you docile, slow, bored and unable to feel anything of meaning. I have decided that with […]

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Why can’t you see?

by MissMeganJoy
written by MissMeganJoy

Don’t tell me you know my sadness if you’ve never felt it. Don’t tell me you know the emptiness in my heart if you’ve ever seen it. Don’t tell me you know what I feel if you’ve never asked. Don’t try, just don’t even try. Because I have had enough of your lies, that you know me. That you care about me and are “There for me” Screw that. I know you better than that. I may not know EVERYTHING about you, but I know you well enough to know that you only care about your drugs and your beer. IF you really cared, you would […]

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World of Filth

by Veihsaihgkjdsal
written by Veihsaihgkjdsal

Hey kids, here’s some advice: if you feel like killing
yourself, do it. Do it as soon as you can, because life and society will take
everything from you as you get older. It will even take your desire to kill
yourself. That may sound like a good thing, but it isn’t. You will lose the
will to kill yourself, but not the root emotions that made you consider suicide
in the first place. You will still feel like shit, but will lack the passion
and ambition to actually solve it with suicide.

You may see signs of physical weakness in the adults around
you, but […]

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Why does it all feel pointless?

by satchikins
written by satchikins

I’m one from a very good life. I’m 20, been in a good relationship for going on 5 years. I have friends who love me and a family that’s never split up and always been tight-knit. So, what’s wrong? Why do I just want out? I’ll go long periods of time where I feel okay. (No, not great and not bad. Simply okay. Like I know I exist and I’m fine with that) yet when I break, its hard. I’ll have the worst mood swings, going from absolutely rude and waspish to bawling my eyes out and feeling alone. Incredibly alone. The past few days […]

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I Abhor Love (Soon To Be Put To Music!)

by subtle_bloodstains
written by subtle_bloodstains

When you look up at me
Can you not see
This love hiding shamefully

Behind my painted face
Emptiness I embrace

I see your heart braking
I try to stop shaking
But you don’t know what you’re taking
From me

These years slowly passing
And I am just guessing
That soon I’ll be watching
This all from above

I won’t yearn for my home
Because I’ve been shown
That death is all I want
I’ll have peace and rest
Nothing to protest
Nothing to deplore
But I’d give it all up
I’d suffer through this dump
Because I’ll miss you more

But I am so broken
You are destined
For […]

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Back here. Again.

by thepainter
written by thepainter

I posted here two years ago or more. I’m not really sure. I was thinking of ending my life that day and I know the general reasons why, but I don’t know what brought those thoughts so hard that day–just like today. Sitting in my chair, working, then suddenly, like a flash mob of pain and ache and emptiness. Fatelessness.

 

Everyone adores me for my personality now. I can’t believe how social I can be sometimes, and then nothing, nothing at all, but the desire for nothing, and peace, and a bed made of endless dreams. I know why people do heroin.

 

I’ve made a plan. I […]

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Another Goodbye Song

by subtle_bloodstains
written by subtle_bloodstains

I’ve been writing too many of these lately…

 

A long and winding road
A winter lonely and cold
I near the end of this fateful trip

The solitude sucks me down
To depths below the underground
No hope of any rescuing ship

A ray of dawn breaks the dark horizon
Illuminating the shattered dreams
Through the purest light I can envision
A place devoid of broken memories
Shrouded in the sheltering darkness
Forgetting and becoming lifeless

Simply let go
Don’t mourn what you know
I leave on the wings of night
I leave you to fight
Never forget-
The sun must set
Take all my love
Carry it with […]

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Life is grand, life is a lie…

by ironmiserie333
written by ironmiserie333

To start I have been watching this site for a year. I have witnessed sorrow, pain, emptiness, death, and living the life of death. I have also watched a few people climb from the edge and feel wonderful.
I am so sorry to tell you this but that lasting happiness is a lie. Someday everything you built will come crashing down. Your spouse will leave you sure to your mental wearing them down. Those people who can see the worlds splendor will never truly understand us.
I have a good job, a sweet step-daughter, a beautiful wife, and the cutest dog in the world.
I […]

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Failure

by sunbird
written by sunbird

Stupid me…I couldnt smuggle one of my necessary components into OZ(or I should say I didnt want to attempt it) and I came close…had so many oportunities…a 7th story balcony…the ocean,crocodile infested waterways,the dense rainforest….

All throughout my vacation,my boyfriend really hit home ow little I matter to him,lying about his vacation,rarely calling me,not planning on coming home for weeks so he can be with his mommy and daddy….the only thing he cares about is making sure he gets paid back his money that I corrowed from him.

Now,stupid me,I made it home…and Im in physical pain,suffering at the emptiness that i came home to.No one cares,no […]

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I want to disappear.

by NotReallyHereAtAll
written by NotReallyHereAtAll

I want to disappear. I don’t think I want to die as such, I just don’t want to exist, either.

That’s it really, I just don’t want to exist anymore. If I could just flick a switch and not be here anymore, I would. I would do it straight away, no questions asked. I suppose that switch is basically a permanent one, a switch of life or death.

That’s the thing though, I’m unsure whether it’s suicide I want. I want to not be here but I don’t want to be dead.

So am I suicidal? Is it suicidal to just want to disappear?

I hate the word ‘suicide’, […]

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No reason.

by In_memory
written by In_memory

There is absolutly no reason to live anymore. i just want to die.

no one would even care if i died.

i wish i wasnt so numb.

im taking pill after pill to make myself feel normal everday,

but i just cant do it anymore.

there  is just an emptiness that nothing can fill.

all of the drugs in the world couldnt fill it….

im done.

 

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Goodbye Tonight

by LiamS
written by LiamS

I’m filled with an emptiness, that’s tearing me apart
There is no tenderness, or love left in my heart
I gave it all away, gave it up without a fight
Now it’s the close of day, so I’ll say goodbye tonight

I can laugh and joke with you, play guitar and sing
But I will end up hurting you, with the pain I always bring
Good-for-nothing’s got to go; I’ll fade into the night
Don’t ask me where ‘cause I don’t know, but I’ll say goodbye tonight

Don’t search for me; lost souls can’t be found
Doesn’t everybody end up in the ground?

I’ve given all that I […]

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I Want to be Alive

by Superficialsmiles
written by Superficialsmiles

I have been alive for a little over 15 years  now.  I’ve laughed countless times, smiled the majority of my life, and cried when it seemed appropriate.   Yet I’ve rarely done any of these with emotion.  I’ve been alive for over a decade and a half but I can’t think of a single time when I was truly living.

 

I started to realize that I was empty, and that emptiness was suffocating.  It was a tangible force, crushing me to the ground like gravity.  I wanted to feel something…  maybe love or at even agony, just anything but this hollowness inside of me.  I want to be able to […]

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Feeling a Force Against Me

by chr75751
written by chr75751

Can’t believe I’m posting here. Thought I was over all of this. I’m 42 now. Lifetime of depression, anxiety, anorexia, and bulimia. I had gotten to a point where I had left a bad marriage, bought my own car, own house, raising my child, and held a full time very difficult job. I decided to change shrinks 1 week ago who suggested I do “talk therapy.” I went to 1 apt and have essentially fallen apart since that apt. This was totally unexpected. Apparently, I’ve been trying to hold everything together all these years…just keep going, just keep going, and follow the routine is what […]

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I have always known…

by FadingAgain89
written by FadingAgain89

Even as a child I knew how my life would end, I used to think it would be before my 21st birthday. My 23rd birthday is next month, I cant count how many failed attempts I have had. I do know that I am better educated now, I know what will and wont work, how much I should take and when to take it. I have a generalized date set, it wont be until after my birthday, it would be selfish to do it sooner. I have chosen to overdose, I have the medications I need. The money for a hotel room. I am calm […]

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It’s been a full life

by imtemporary
written by imtemporary

When I say it’s been a “full” life, I definitely don’t mean it’s been a happy one. But I’ve accomplished a lot, experienced a lot, and now like a runner who’s exhausted and crippled from running so hard I’m going to stop.

Human society is anti-suicide. Everyone tells you it’s wrong, everyone tries to talk you out of it. That’s fine. But I really think suicide is a logical action when you no longer have a desire to live (a lot more logical than continuing to do something you don’t want to do).

I lost my desire to live a year ago when something horrible happened. I held on for […]

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Only time will tell- which i might not have

by Kgalalelo
written by Kgalalelo

ppl its been so long since iv actually written something.

nothing has really changed in my life except dat it gets worse and i keep on sinking deeper and deeper into this dark hole, im so tired of all these emotions. Iv been going to church alot lately but when i get home i go back to the same old darkness and neverending pain. i cant stand this pain no more. i have nothing left to lose and its not like anyone really cares or truly loves me and it will be best if i just left dis world.

i thought it will get better with time […]

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