Since when did life become working 5 or 6 days a week. Sitting in traffic an hour each way mind you. Despite living less than 15 minutes away from work, it takes a miracle to get home in under an hour most days. All that just to barely make a descent income, to support myself, pay bills, and whatever is left that the government doesn’t take from me I save some and spend the rest on gas and groceries. It’s like an endless cycle. There’s no denying I’m depressed and in need of serious help. And I’m not talking about the help that comes in […]
Tag:
empty
Things make more sense to me now than they ever have in my entire life. I died, the person I was the dreams I had all of it died that was the true reason why I have been so upset. I didn’t want to accept that I let myself die because it hurt too much. But it’s done with now and I can’t change a thing about it. I feel empty, I don’t know who I am or what I want, it feels like I was placed into a body, a life that is empty. It’s like it isn’t my life so I have no […]
pure empty awareness no self transcendent infinite skylike mind indestructible primordial eternal peace that your true self or ur reborn as a fkin ignorant worm dont roll the dice with the youniverse remove those created barriers and become free <3
I feel so lost.. So empty.
Everyone I talk to.. they disappear.
My thoughts are filled of suicide and selfharm thoughts.
All I do is disappoint my family….
And myself.
I hate myself more than people hate me, which is a lot..
Sometimes, I think about dying…
And I might do it.
I might end my life
My name is Denise.
I am 17 years old.
I am a junior.
This is my story and the events that led me here.
I was born and raised in Texas. Honestly, I’ve been depressed as far back as I can remember. Sure I laughed and played like anyone else as a child, but there was a darkness I could feel consuming me as I grew up. When I progressed into middle school that’s when I began to let the darkness in. I was bullied.  I met girls who cut. And so I started to cut too. It felt good. I cut […]
I really don’t know what to do anymore.
Some call it a phase of life, others just a small crisis.
But I don’t know and I actually dont care.
I feel empty. Nothing excites me. I don’t have goals and no matter how much I search, I just feel that I will be put down.
Everything I do is put down. I got support, but what does that count? They wont be there forever.
I wonder, why was I born? I feel empty. Don’t feel joy actually and just waste my life.
I tried many times to kill myself, stabbing, hanging, drowning and even throw myself infront of a train or […]
the past few days have just been the worst I am seriously in so much emotional and mental pain. I havent ever felt more empty or hopeless than I do now and sometimes I just wanna say fuck it and grab my fucken gun and just try to end it and hope that i’ll be lucky enough to die. I swear it feels like a shitload of misery and sadness and hopelessness just fell out of the sky and landed right on me. I feel so alone right now so empty i’m sitting here just bawling me eyes out and I can’t stop I just […]
I don’t feel like anything if that makes sense. I feel like I’m empty and I been thinking to much. I’m not in love anymore. And I dontnthink no ever will be I sit there and think about the people I’m suppose to love and I feel nothing. I don’t feel anything. I haven’t even cried and my mom just died. Should I? Why do I feel like I have no feelings anymore..?
so I found this website and it hopes of finding people that will understand me.. So I’m assuming this is my place..
to be honest, I don’t know what’s getting into me . I feel like a monster. I made my mother cry after she found out I self harm, and now that I stop self harming, me and my boyfriend have been getting into countless fights… My mom still puts me down. She calls me whore, slut, only because I’ve kissed one guy. She beats me for no reason too. It doesn’t stop and I know it won’t. I feel so useless and I feel […]
i dont know myself anymore, i look the same and act the same but i feel dead inside, incomplete and alone. this is not because i lost love or some shit like that, but i just dont feel worth anything. not a second of your time, not a breath of oxygen, not even the space i exist in. this isnt how im suppost to live this, isnt how i am. i’m gay…i came out to my mom a few months ago. she’s alright with it, but i just cant hide in this shell anymore. she told me not to tell anybody about it because they […]
Another day, another page
Counting down
Another tear, another fear
Coming to an end
My book is worn and frayed
Focusing only on mistakes I have made
I can’t help but cry
The scars run so deep
Just like a river
Tears bring me to sleep
Behind this smile
is an empty soul
Behind these eyes
coloured charcoal
Behind every word
Behind every thought
Behind every scar
Worthy of life I’m not
To be loved is earned
To be forgiven is yearned
To be rejected is pain
To be forgotten…
Like a midsummer rain…
It’s one of those mornings that you wake up. Wake up numb. Numb and empty. I can’t even make sense of my thoughts right now, because there are none, but, at the same time, too many things are rushing through my head.
I feel nothing, I feel loneliness, I hate myself for missing him like this. The numbness stabbing at my heart. He’s done enough, don’t be stupid.
I woke up with that feeling of knowing that your voice might break if someone makes you talk right now. But I don’t want them to know I’m dying little by little inside, fear and insecurity taking over me.
Stare […]
it’s not a big problem, sorry. And I would have discuss it in a chat, but hey, it’s blocked here at my work.
Why on earth do I always feel so stupid, disappointed and empty when I ask someone to see me, and they can’t ? Really ? My mind knows it’s not personnal, but I can’t help the feelings. I rarely am courageous enough to offer activities to people, and when I do, it’s always like this. Well, maybe not always, but you know what I mean…
There is an empty feeling that resides in my soul. I have searched every logical avenue to end this horrible feeling. I have been through hell and back, and as I look back the only reason I kept going was because I had meagre problems to overcome and each time I would succeed I would experience an acute sense of joy. I suffer from anxiety, depression paranoia you name it. Whether or not it was self inflicted from my history of drug abuse, traumatic events or my family history of mental illnesses or the potentiation of all of the above, this feeling is f*cked up. […]
If you have ever felt like there is no light, no fulfilling happiness, you can’t find happiness…? You’re where I am. I am empty, hollow really. There’s nothing here… I don’t cut myself on my wrists, it’s too obvious. I have cut myself on my thighs, cuz no one sees them there. I’ve tried everything to Gain happiness… Sex, drugs, alcohol, suicide, animals, nature, friends, family, counseling…. But nothing helps. I don’t have a smile on my face for very long, if I do, it’s probably fake and it’s there to keep people off my back. Â I look fine on the outside, but inside… I’m […]
I should be studying for my quantitative management exam I have tomorrow morning. I should be applying for internships for the summer. I should be out and laughing with friends. I should snuggling up with my ex-boyfriend. I should be watching Dirty Dancing with my best friend. I should be the happy go- lucky 20 year old that everyone expects me to be. But I’m not. Instead I sit here alone contemplating what my life is really worth.
I’ve always had that side of me that was never happy, and sometimes it would rear its ugly head and tell me how pathetic, worthless, unsuccessful, unattractive, […]
It’s been a tough few months for me lately.
Some days i hide it well, others, not so much.
Some days I am sat on my own in my bedroom and I feel so low I have no idea where to go or what to do.
I consider whether my next breath is worth taking dozens of times a day.
Some nights i go to sleep and admit to myself that not waking up; well it wouldn’t be so bad.
Sometimes i will try to talk family or friends but they are always seeming so happy that I don’t want to spoil their day so I […]
Hello…this is the first time I write something like this, but I hope it works…
Never make someone your everything, because when that someone gets tired of you, you’ll have nothing…I’ve heard that so many times; and I didn’t believe it till now. My stupid decisions made me who I am….an empty girl who just wanna die. I lost my best friend…the only person I could lean on, she got tired of me all suddenly. Well not that suddenly…It was my fault, I abandoned her first, but I just wanted a real family for once…does that makes me selfish? I think that I’m selfish after […]
I’ve been arguing with myself over the topic of suicide for a while now. I randomly came across this site from a Google search about suicide and felt inclined to sign up and post something. I’ll be surprised if anyone even reads this. Or comments. Or offers help.
I’m deeply, horribly depressed, and I don’t get why. I’ve never been abused. I’ve never lost a loved one. I don’t come from a broken family. I grew up in a comfortable lifestyle. I have no reason to be depressed. Alas, I am. I’m empty inside.
Although I grew up in a comfortable home, I never had […]
Her mother has six children, five girls and one boy. She is second oldest in line. The oldest sister does nothing to help the family, never steps up to her place to aide the mother in raising up the children. There is no father around, though the boy does not step up and take the mans place like he should, protecting the women and girls. She has been taking care of children since she was 6, feeding them, bathing them, getting up every 2 hours for a bottle. She had grown tired but does not complain for she knows her mother must appreciate it somehow… […]