my life matters. to my girlfriend and her son anyway. i am fighting for them. also, im scared of death. doctors might be able to help me one day. i will keep looking for a job, and not end it all just yet. maybe never.
Tag:
end it all
I look in the mirror and see someone I don’t know. I try really hard to get up everyday, but it is soo hard. I go to school, but I don’t see the point, it’s getting me know where. Applying for jobs is a lot easier said then done. I found out today that my mother helped my sister’s boyfriend find a job and he got it. After she promised that she would help, and she through me under the bus last mouth. She let me do an interview at a school that would have helped me get a degree and I would have had […]
First time posting I’m really just looking for places I can get advice without being judged. Yes I am new so just bare with me as I try to explain my story.
It all all started when I was little, I was told I had really bad behaviour problems this was around the age of 5-12 years old. My parents have told me the only way they could make me behave was to slap me, or to punch me just any means they thought was appropriate, I had therapy when I was really young because I used to hit myself, I never mixed with other kids […]
So just had a huge blow out with my family. My mom fired me from work and I don’t know what to do. I always feel so alone when I’m home. Like I feel kinda invisible. They don’t need me. They have my cousins. They probably wouldn’t even notice if I died. I’m just a bother. A fuck up. They would be better off with out me. Maybe I should end it all. It would make everyone happier. I mean hell all I am is a disappointment.
Hi. This is my first post on here, and I think that this would help me a lot, considering I’m feeling like a sealed time bomb. Call me Cyn. I’m a teen, but I’ve been through a lot. Lately, I’ve been feeling like nothing. I have the very popular, “things feel like they’re getting worse” and “I feel like my mind is being taken over.” I’m not okay. I don’t have anti depressants, I live off Advil. My mother hates me, and so do my aunts and my grandmother. My whole family hates me; on my mother’s side at least. My boyfriend is the only […]
Hi,
so so this is the first time ever posting on a site (any site actually) but I’ve found that venting about thing regardless if people respond or not is beneficial and seeing a therapist once a week is clearly not cutting it anymore.
Okay let’s see now, I am 23 first generation American, middle child, genetic history of major clinical depression with multiple family members taking their own lives.
On the surface, I have a pleasant life. I haven’t had to worry about finances as much as most people have. Ran track in HS and was a state champion. Played collegiate rugby and excelled. However since I was […]
The title says it all. I graduated high school today, and I have never been this suicidal in my entire life. I’m not going to college or anything, so I feel like it’s just my time to go. I said goodbye to everyone, so it’s okay if I die now. Nobody there really liked me much, anyway. To be honest, I’m surprised I made it this far. I didn’t think I’d make it to graduation, but I did. Now I don’t really have anything left to live for. It’s almost sad, I used to have such big dreams and high hopes, but I don’t know […]
I’m such a sad girl that no one knows how I feel. Every single day I cry in my room wanting to end it all but to afraid. I’ve lost a lot of my best friends from this mental illness. Whenever I go somewhere I have sooo much anxiety it’s unbearable. All the medication I take and nothing works. I will never be fixed. I’m the only person in my family that’s broken. I’m just a waste of time and space. I’m socially awkward no matter where I am. I can’t tell anyone how I feel because they will think I’m doing for attention. Or […]
Hello everyone. I have been depressed for some time now. I’ve been to the hospital for it and stayed for about a week. I am married and my wife knows of my depression. while in the hospital they said that I have a general mood disorder and bi polar tendencies. With the mood disorder my mood can change in an instant. It can be triggered just by someone getting snippy with me or giving me attitude and I can help it.
The marriage overall has been good. But as of late there is a lot of stress and both of us are depressed. About a week […]
I am 18 years old im not posting this for any other reason than to just do it, my lifes not always been easy but its not always been hard either ill admit that however all my life I’ve had bi polar schizophrenia I didn’t know about this till very recently and well my familys abandoned me they lied threw me out hell my moms a special ed teacher and well I never knew how hard this was going to be but I tried to commit suicide when I was 16 I rehabilitated and focused on positives it was ok till I was thrown out […]
Everyday I go through the motion’s in my life , the will to live is just not in me anymore. Alone, going through depression it seems like the only thing that can get a tiny small smirk on my face seems to be when I try to think about what if I was happy ,what if I had that someone special in my life, what if I was special to someone else or I was needed but I get mad at myself for even thinking that fit giving myself false hope that just doesn’t exist. I bottle my emotions in until night time where my […]
At this point I am all alone in my own head. There’s not a single person in the world that knows how I truly feel, and I’m hurting. I have no clue what the source of these inner demons I’m struggling with is, and at this point I don’t think I’ll ever find it.
It has been six years since I started feeling depressed. I am 19 and my feelings started as a freshman in high school. At first I just thought they were normal teen angst. I felt lonely. I felt alienated from those around me. I felt so guilty about everything I did wrong, […]
The air suffocates me, room feels like a prison, city – like a cattle-pen. Any form of entertainment does not fill heart like it used to, it merely makes me forget my misery for a bit. And when I am alone – I can’t escape thought of suicide. No one have to love me. But still, I hoped that someone would. I tried to be a best person I could, but that was obviously not enough. I have a plan of easy death, still need some tests, though, to do it right. To avoid more pain, to avoid failure. But the plan calms me. I […]
hi, so I have anxiety and depression. I have just experienced one of my ‘depressing days’ and I just want to end it all. I spent hours listening to a song by Nathan Grisdale called ‘Too Young To Die’, then I cried non-stop. I can’t take this anymore please help.
I’ve thought about taking enough sleeping pills (OTC) to end it all. My desire to live is decreasing. I’m taking my meds. But I still have the thoughts.
I’ve just been going around and around in circles for a long time. But the one thing that remained the same when I spun around in these circles was that I was afraid. I was always afraid. At first, it was the fear of death, then the fear of life, then just the overwhelming fear of everything in life.
I’m a coward. I know. I deserve to die. But once again, I was afraid to do it. When I finally gathered up the courage to try, I failed. Then I became even more afraid. I was afraid of trying again. Afraid of what would happen if […]
okay I live in london and obvs I’m not gonna say where but um lately every time I take the train, I have the biggest feeling to just jump and end it all. I have been like this for ages and this feeling is getting stronger but I think the only thing that is stopping me is the fact that if I jump there will be a huge delay in the trains and I don’t want to disturb other people and their journeys. But even then, I’m too scared to do it myself and I need a push. I have decided that my death HAVE […]
http://youtu.be/bFHKBCz-ml0
I have been in this place one to many times. I have been in the deep dark depths of my mind and I can’t seem to escape from my sadness. I have been able to recover and travel a long way in my life and saying FUCK YOU to those who have fucked me over and choose to bully me and beat me down. I come here out of all places to receive love and support not to be bullied. I have been beaten down so many times and I have been pushed to the ground. I don’t want to be here anymore and I […]
So I’ve been alone for a long time, practically all my life. And this recent suicidal phase I’ve gone thru hasn’t helped that at all. Scarred myself up good I did. Even slicing my arm open on a hacksaw by accident one day. I’ve grown a loving for the color black and everything about. In color theory, it’s either the presence of every color or the absence. I like to think every color is present.
But anyway, I’ve made plans and I’ve screwed it into my head that I’m probably going to end up dying alone in my old age. And I think I’m prepared for […]
A few days ago, very depressed, I went for a walk in search of a bridge. I’m in a new city and do not know where anything is. I traveled down a deadend road and wouldn’t you know it, I find train tracks. Not only that, I see a train coming. This was it. Here was my chance. To finally end it all after nearly twelve years of suffering with severe depression and suicidal thoughts and attempts. I waited on the train tracks as the train neared. But as I waited, all I could think about was the fact that I have terrible luck and […]