Seriously, no one respects me enough to even acknowledge me!! In school, I’m constantly ignored by people, students and teachers alike! Even my so-called friends ignore me!!! EVERYONE ACTS LIKE I DON’T EXIST AND I UTTERLY HATE THEM ALL!!!!! Girls ignore me too, they treat me like shit, while every other piece of crap at my school gets girls. I’m the only person that actually even attempts to be kind to anyone EVER and in da, they insult their own friends have the time! I’m treated like a nothing and a nobody, I hate my stupid white school and the stupid people in it, I […]
Tag:
enough
I’m fairly certain I’m going to kill myself before the new year. I’ve just had enough of living and not being happy. I’ve never done heroin before but I bought some about a year and a half ago just for when I decide to kill myself. I plan on OD’ing so I’ll atleast go out with a false sense of happiness. Should I do this before or after Christmas? I’m supposed to go home Christmas Day to visit all of my family.
I’ve never wrote on one of these sites before, and up until recently I thought I was always capable of overcoming the self loathing I feel every day.
It changed recently, my wife left me and now I can no longer speak with her other than through occasional text messages.
I want to find hope in those messages, but I can’t I spent everyday crying and focusing on my way out of this. I’ve ordered everything I need to leave this world except my gas which will be coming soon.
She wanted me to get help and now I am it doesn’t seem to be […]
I am not depressed…. I am not even feeling very down…. I am not happy… but I am not unhappy…. I am somewhere just above midline… Another failure in life reminding me that my efforts don’t matter my limitations will raise up and remind me I am so close to making it into regular life but just can’t make it over the fence… I am tired of being on this side of the fence… I want to hold it together… 3 mouths are counting on me holding it together but the longer I go the further away I am moving from them… Haven’t talked with […]
I’ve been on this site a lot recently. I like it here, because it allows me to scream into the void of internet anonymity within a community of like-minded individuals who will essentially scream with me. If only our commonalities weren’t so awful, you know? If only this were a site for kitten enthusiasts or people with an overabundance of zest for life instead of, well, what it is.
I looked through some of the “My Suicide Note” posts, and it was surreal reading what people intended as their final words. It was even more surreal when they didn’t come back and say they’d failed their […]
dear sp, just a warning. their is a troll on the loose. this one is really nasty. she was using the tag HAYTRED, but is now using GOD. do not bite her hooks. do not read her words, do not take her advice. she has nothing to offer. like all of us, i desire to find that peace, that one thing that will let us enjoy living. myth, maybe. her desire is death, destruction and misery. dont know about all of you, but ive had more than enough of that shit. so avoid her. good luck, peace to ya and keep trying.
Sorry. He to keep it quiet.
CRITICAL parents, bullies, addictions, mean girls, jealous gossip, scapegoat me you bitches, outcasted, jobless
Hard working, straight Aing, exercising, writing, creating, therapy, friends, faith, graduate degree, PURPOSE, dignity
Shes meek and timid and mousy, she’s a minority who only speaks English, she’s worthless, so TIMID, fucking nice and quiet
Sing, paint, POWERFUL, spiritual, soulful, run, get up and try again, meditate, pray, brush it off, get up, SPEAK UP
Not enough, never enough, never enough, use me, put me in danger, put me down, alone, alone, ALONE, no one understands
No one will hire a wounded healer she said, think positive they said, have a thicker skin they say, have […]
Decided not. This site was an amazing find. Thank you, all of you, for being excellent. Tomorrow. Finally. Take my Seroquel, go for a walk along the river, and — oops! — “accidentally” slip and fall in and go through a weak spot in the ice, and I won’t be alert enough to fight it. They won’t get me ’til Spring thaw. And like hell I’m going to the emergency room to be violated again. No thanks.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
It was all so fucking perfect, so foolproof. Nothing could go wrong, I was ready to go, I needed to go. Everything was in place no one would know. Then smack bang out of the blue the night I decided to die was the night another (elderly) family member died. I mean there was no way I could do it people would be calling now there would be no privacy no time. How could this happen? And now I’m stuck here in my own hell with no way out because now I have to wait. How much longer do I have to suffer, is it […]
I’m a 32 years old loser and total failure in this so-called “real world.” Is there really no hope for me anymore?
by niki
written by niki
I’m a 32 years old loser and total failure in this so-called “real world / real life / reality”. Is there really no hope for me anymore?
I’m a 32 years old guy from Indonesia. Graduated about 13 years ago from U.S, and then “back for good” to my home country, supposedly working for a family business.
Many people honestly tell me (or view me) as a very talented, even multi-talented person. But unfortunately/sadly, somehow I just lack several few factors yet they are apparently probably the *MOST IMPORTANT* factors in this so-called “real world / real life / reality” .
It’s my mind / constant thinking & […]
So yeah, the title says it all, im new around here. I guess this is the part where im suppose to tell you how i came to be here, but that is a long and very boring story.
Mostly it is a by product of my own stupidity and selfishness that forced me to slump into isolation and despair. Im not looking for any sympathy just some like minded people who have had enough of this miserable world. So far my prospects seem a little bleak. No offense but some of you here are just a buzz kill. Anyway i didn’t come here to once again […]
i’ve always been someone who needs to be someone to other people, you know? having lots of friends who depend on and trust me has been the thing that keeps me going and makes me appreciate myself and my life. i don’t know when exactly i ran out of energy to spend on other people. why did that happen? at some point i became insanely apathetic. i had no energy to try and take care of everyone anymore. i lost my purpose, my calling in life and people got mad at me for not caring enough. why did i become such a bad friend? now i’m […]
I’m so scared right now… I’m starting to get enough balls to actually commit suicide. 2 years ago I would never think I would cut myself, but I have. For the past two days I’ve been using a cord and putting it around my neck and choking myself. I take medication for depression but nothing seems to be working at all. I just want to die SOO bad. I feel like that’s what I am looking forward to. I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t want to talk to me anymore about this. I know I’m pushing him away… I just want to go.
Why am I still alive?! I’ve been drinking antifreeze for the past two weeks! Believe me, enough of it to kill 6 adults. Why am I just falling asleep like it’s nyquil?!!! What the fuck?! I don’t believe in religion, I don’t want to talk about it, and don’t offer me help. I know life is suffering and I’m trying to fucking leave! Why can’t I get out?! I’m just here killing time.
I have never been one to share my personal thoughts or feelings. I try to go throughout life quietly, minding my own business and not involving anyone with my personal affairs. That being said, this was difficult to publish into cyber space, among all the folks who have nothing better to do but verbally attack other human beings from behind a screen. I know that. But here I am. I have never been a “glass half full” type of person. I’m more of a “the entire lake is dried up” kind of gal. Which is why I found it strange and even checked myself for […]
I mean, how do they help. I already know what’s wrong and I can’t fix it. I’ve been twice. I cancelled yesterday’s appointment because I don’t see the point. I’m a private person, whining to this yahoo ain’t helping anything, just let’s another judge me. I’m very close to leaving, I’m having the same feeling you get on your last day on the job, the last day of school. I’m done. There will be another failure and that’ll be enough to push the first domino.
Why the fuck do I NEED therapy. It won’t fix anything.
I really wish I was never born.. nothing I do is worth anything. I cant make anyone hapoy and everything and everyone I come in contact with turns to shit. I just want it all to end. Realisticly it would be better for everyone in my pathetic life.. I just cant deal with the disappointment I cause everyone. My wife and kids would do better without me……
God, both my parents are dropping not-so-subtle hints that they already want to retire…
My father had a myocardial infarction a few years ago and he’s still struggling to pay off the loan he took to pay for the medical bills, and on top of that he’s paying for his meds for diabetes monthly and sending my 2 younger siblings to college. He says he really wants to pay all the bills and just retire as soon as he can.
My mother is sick and tired of her abusive boss and unprofessional work environment. She only plans to stay 3 years tops to complete a 10-year company […]
the shrink doesn’t think there is anymore drug wise he can do for me. he doesn’t think my depression is a chemical imbalance . so as of today i have stopped taking my meds. he doesn’t know this. i guess he will figure it out when i stop seeing him. from my research it seems i will be in for a hell of a ride. oh well. doesn’t sound like any of it will be lethal but one can hope. maybe the only thing it will accomplish is to clarify my desire to be dead. been thinking about it hard and heavy. haven’t procured the […]