Tag:

enough

10 days left

by Roars Kilde 10/22/2014

written by Roars Kilde

And I still can’t do anything.
It doesn’t even feel like something big hanging over my head, I know it’s coming, I know there is probably several possibilities to avoid it, but at this point, I just don’t care anymore.

I thought maybe the closer it got and it would be that kick in the butt I needed to do something, do anything. Instead it’s just more of the same, the days are the same as they’ve always been. But it doesn’t upset me, it doesn’t even worry me, I know it’s going to happen, and I realize what it means. And I still just don’t […]

10/22/2014 6 comments

I hate myself

by The_Stressed_One 10/21/2014

written by The_Stressed_One

I hate myself.

I hate myself because I know that others have it way way worse than me and they aren’t complaining. I hate myself because I am not skinny enough. I am not smart enough. I am not pretty enough. I’m not nice enough. I’m not friendly enough. I’m not out-going enough. I’m not talkative enough. I’m not open enough. I’m not perfect enough. I’m just…. not enough. I hate that I’m such… an attention whore. I hate that a lot of people have it way worse than me and I’m here just cry a river and thinking of ending it, but it ending because […]

10/21/2014 6 comments

My Suicide Note. If this works, see you on the flip side.

by AnonKun 10/20/2014

written by AnonKun

Goodbye, From AnonKun (I have replaced my real name with AnonKun whenever it appears)
I am very aware that many readers of this note may be surprised upon discovering it that I committed suicide. Please know that this was not a spur of the moment decision. This is not a decision I made lightly, or one that was imposed on me by people, society, or circumstance. This is a painful decision I made after years of on and off suffering with no logical conclusion or end in sight.
To address what is likely the most immediate question, I will explain why I chose to take […]

10/20/2014 37 comments

“Heaven knows I’M MISERABLE NOW” – The

by psychoticbip 10/19/2014

written by psychoticbip

Smiths anyone? Well if anyone can relate to this song this is for you and I. If a movie was made about me I visualize myself walking down the side of a road or through a park on a gloomy day and this song will be playing for at least the whole intro. But, this is life and we all know there aren’t really movies waiting for us. However I must say that with all the other thoughts that go on in this mind of mine I like to pretend I’m being filmed that way I know I’ve had enough vile things happen to me giving me the right […]

10/19/2014 0 comment

I don’t know anything

by TheCensoredDream 10/19/2014

written by TheCensoredDream

The standard advice for suicidal people is to reach out to someone. And yet it is our relationships with those we care about most that seem to steepen the slope of our depression. Girl problems, boy problems, family problems. It really really pains me how many children are depressed and suicidal. When I was a teenager I could at least tell myself i was young and that there was time and life would get better. But it didn’t. I just have more pain and more guilt and more cynicism. I. just can’t seem to relate to anyone. Some time back i promised myself I […]

10/19/2014 6 comments

Suicidal project. (1st post)

by psychoticbip 10/18/2014

written by psychoticbip

Joining the suicidal project not because I am suicidal God knows Iv’e never been ballzy enough to even atempt. However, these dark thoughts have haunted me and I’m completely lost in the problems of child hood and self demolition. I have became who I’ve never wanted to be like my father… and i am scared to be come what my biggest fear my mother. Anyways here I come , just another dark post.

10/18/2014 8 comments

1,2,3

by xylem 10/16/2014

written by xylem

I don’t know if anyone else experiences this or is it just me. But sometimes there are some grief and emotions that I don’t deal with right away and they just sit around waiting patiently, giving me enough space to function normally for a while. Sometimes they pile up so high I can’t image ever dealing with them. But then one day when you least expect it, it all comes crashing down. The moment you knew was coming but hoped it will never really come. And I just can’t help it. Tears tears tears.. buckets of tears.. a grief so great that it crushes my […]

10/16/2014 1 comment

Having a breakdown

by EvilKitten 10/15/2014

written by EvilKitten

I’m freaking out about not having enough hours at work, not having a place to live, not having money to pay my bills, not being able to find a second job, and having to do all this shit alone.

This is too much shit for one person to handle. Enough is enough. I seriously feel so freaked and panicked and anxious about everything that I wanna just go jump off a bridge and be done with this shit.

You win, Universe. You wanted to see how much fucking shit one person could really take, and this is it. I’m fucking done, you win, I’m not playing anymore.

Thank […]

10/15/2014 4 comments

Someone

by ClairDeLune 10/15/2014

written by ClairDeLune

Fuck, I can’t do this anymore. Can’t get up, can’t go outside, can’t make friends, can’t lie to my family anymore. This pressure is too much, like my head was exploding. I don’t wanna die, really. There’s beauty in life but I am not destined to feel it. I need someone to give me a purpose, someone to share a lifetime with. I don’t want to get this university degree for myself, I don’t fucking need it. I could as well get a job at a local IT firm, enough to pay for a small apartment and everything I need. But that’s not the life […]

10/15/2014 2 comments

Still Can’t Get Ahead

by EvilKitten 10/15/2014

written by EvilKitten

No matter how hard I try, and no matter that some things go right, I can’t get ahead in this life.

So, just lost my place to live Sunday night, staying with my brothers ex for as short a time as possible, we get along ok, but she just hates people in her living space, and I can totally respect that.

Still have my job, and work my ass off when I’m there. Pay is crap, and we’re now cutting hours. Since I started about 4 weeks ago, I was getting an average of 30 hours a week, which was just enough to cover my bills, keep […]

10/15/2014 13 comments

It’s so blunt, I can’t help but laugh

by Lsari 10/14/2014

written by Lsari

It has been a while but I guess this was inevitable, I really tried to cut deeper but the knife was just so blunt. I just couldn’t feel the sadness that I know I should feel. I feel so empty and lifeless, this at least made me feel something. Just like last time, I started shallow and then gradually I will cut deeper and deeper.

People often mistake cutters for attention seekers and while it is true I am posting my picture in a public space, I […]

10/14/2014 9 comments

Too much guilt, not enough courage.

by DreamingOfDeath 10/10/2014

written by DreamingOfDeath

Two things strong enough to prevent.

It’s a shame i’m upside down in a backwards world.

Swirling vortex, suck it all in all.

We’ll meet somewhere in the event horizon.

“Just one more day Donnie, please” .

10/10/2014 5 comments

Master Earl

by Bisban 10/9/2014

written by Bisban

Let’s boon. Gear up, see what’s up. Hmu

We’ll get a gang of heavy bud, enough to smoke an OD

Just in case, loose so much brain cells stay in the jungle

Make a fire, make the fire. I want to play Elder Scrolls Online

But we’re not coming back

Take me to a higher place, then let us vanquish

The water, the fire, the earth

10/9/2014 3 comments

I’m Suicidal Again

by TwistedSpace 10/9/2014

written by TwistedSpace

Yep. There was a chance for me in April where I could have died from cyanide poisoning. As painful as that would have been, I’d be dead right now. My suffering would have ended there. I hate myself for not doing it, for not taking the chance I had.

I thought I could make a life for myself, for my Grandmother’s sake at the very least, but things have gotten worse since then. I’m making excuses, whatever. I want out right now. I’m going to try again tonight. It should work if I’m serious enough.

In case it does work; I bid thee farewell.

10/9/2014 18 comments

My Stay in the Mental Ward

by jrd79808 10/9/2014

written by jrd79808

In March 2014, I was sent to the mental ward for suicidal thoughts. Here is my experience.

One day, I had an appointment with my doctor, during which we discussed my depression. He asked me if I ever attempted suicide. I said yes, and told him about the previous day, when I had tried to hang myself but was interrupted by my dad. My doctor told me to promise not to try again. My response was, “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.” With that, he walked out the room without a word. He was gone for a long time-at least half an hour. Suddenly, the […]

10/9/2014 7 comments

Odds and ends

by Kailee3 10/9/2014

written by Kailee3

After he left me, I turned upside down. I thought sleeping with guys would help me forget him, maybe i actually thought the guy i was with would actually love me, but that was all a joke. It would never be love, it was all lust. That’s all it is now adays is lust, maybe for a second i honestly thought i had feelings for these guys. Now, sex isn’t pleasurable.. i just want it to be done with when i have it. Maybe i thought i could honestly numb out the feelings for him with other guys, because alcohol wasn’t working with me, smoking […]

10/9/2014 0 comment

Then and Now

by RealTalk30 10/8/2014

written by RealTalk30

I’m not the person I once was…I’m not the person I had hoped to be..
My mornings are filled with sadness and fear and tears.. every morning when I drive to work, I get the same choked feeling, only now it starts before I leave the house..
My life is empty.. it’s bitter and it’s hopeless.. I’m not the hero I’ve tried so hard to be, in fact now I’m even less than nothing..
I’ve closed off from people in my life.. when I would do anything for some attention then, now I just sit by myself and cry..
I cant eat.. I’m afraid to […]

10/8/2014 6 comments

ways to die

by looking4peace 10/7/2014

written by looking4peace

since we are not allowed to discuss methods can anyone tell me of a website or something were we can? i dont want to complain about the hell i am stuck in anymore, i need to figure out how i can end this soon since i will probably ruin things somehow for someone the longer i live. i cant do anything right thats been that way since for ever and thats how its going to stay ive come to accept it. what i cant accept is more years of pain 32 is enough. is there groups for people to meet up and help each other […]

10/7/2014 10 comments

It’s Easy

by No12run2 10/7/2014

written by No12run2

To say get better when you don’t have to.
To say there’s help when you don’t need it
To live when you don’t want to die
but
It’s hard to stay alive when you can’t stand to open your eyes to another day
You curse the day that you’re awake
You hope today is the day you’re brave
enough to take your life away
Suicide…why do people think I’m crazy?
They’d rather have me alive to watch me slowly die than to take myself out.
I’m looking to escape everyday
hope is finding the way out
I need to get out!!!
Why is it so […]

10/7/2014 1 comment

Expectations

by saydim 10/7/2014

written by saydim

After seven months- I relapsed on alcohol. My professors have told me that I’m not committed and won’t get a job despite my A’s and being on the Dean’s list. I cried all day yesterday, I can’t take it. So much pressure, I had stopped thinking of suicide when I entered a university because I felt like finally I found something that makes me happy. Finally I’m doing something to take away the thoughts. And now I’ve been fucking terrible at every little thing and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to feel anymore and I […]

10/7/2014 1 comment

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